aching

pulling

bloodthirsty

i am.

that

illustrious feeling

so tender, so strong,

gnawing away

at my insides

trying to rip itself from my groin

and extend past the physical boundaries

of my body.

trying to reach another

and pull them close

too close

too tight

until two is one

and the moon becomes the sun

because we spent the whole night

making

lovely fools

of ourselves.

isn’t it strange, to feel desire

and still desire no one?

confused
rattled
ashamed
when i imagine heaven
inside another’s arms
i never thought before
that love is simply
understanding
and accepting
so few accept the shadows
i carry with me
why then do i shun this idea
my preconceived notion
that love must be a certain way
i think that i am keeping things simple
but really we are
complicating
things that don’t need to be
complicated
maybe what is right
is right there
or perhaps i am just
starving
for some contact
for attenion
for touch

thinking thoughts

letting them race

making up my mind

at no particular pace

just wondering

how you are

and who you’re with

while you’re far

just wondering

if you love her

in the spur of the

moment

just wondering

if you loved me

and if we’re capable of

atonement

just thinking

just thoughts stirred

just wondering

but i won’t say a word.

mirror fright
featherlight
always putting up a fight
first star i see tonight
i wish i may i wish i might
someone please help me fight
this deathly sight
my featherlight
before i disappear

pinch my cheeks

paint my lips red

kiss me

miss me

the past is dead

whisper softly

smell my hair

kiss me

miss me

i’m no longer there

exchanged glances

but we will

no more

kiss me

miss me

your least favourite

*****

there was a time

but that is no more

just a beautiful girl

kissed but

not missed

that you left

by the door.

Open mind open heart
Where I was at the start
But tomorrow when I wake
All my strength not to break
Not that I really have much there
To give or break or love or share
Please just stop of make a choice
Hear my silence I have no voice
Our foundation is frail and unsure
I’m no longer myself and I can’t be her

poltergeist,
rattle my ribs, your cage
knock on my skull
remind me of when you
kissed me
quite saccharine
and bewitched me
body and soul.
charming
disarming
but faint as my breath
memories flooding from times
past
never last
and less tangible than smoke.
poltergeist,
your chilling whispers
your temperate moans
are all i have.
i cling
but i am tenuous,
nothing but a shadowy figure,
even more obscure
vague
ghostlike  
than you.