465

I heard a Fly buzz—when I died—
The Stillness in the Room
Was like the Stillness in the Air—
Between the Heaves of Storm—

The Eyes around—had wrung them dry—
And Breaths were gathering firm
For that last Onset—when the King
Be witnessed—in the Room—

I willed my Keepsakes—Signed away
What portion of me be
Assignable—and then it was
There interposed a Fly—

With Blue—uncertain stumbling Buzz—
Between the light—and me—
And then the Windows failed—and then
I could not see to see—

What you could not tell me;
as distinct as a infant's cry,
was why?

Had the torture within you
rattled the bars and forced
you to plead sweet ignorance?

Would you have understood
an alibi, had I delivered it
to you in homonyms?

Were we a pair, had we pared?
Or did one of us bite too harshly
on the pear?

Or would you continue with
me, the way you knew how...
artfully coy, and full of deception?

and then, I realized
I knew... had always known
and therein is the rub
that has left me bare, a bear,
a grizzly discovery.

I want to slice through
   the voices
      haunting my head
and suffocate
   the aches
      taunting my heart.

I want to scrape away
   the memories
      burning a hole in my mind
and carve out
   the curiosity
       tormenting my soul.

anger
resonating
through me,
never
sufficiently
released
by any words
that I write.

determination
now rising
through me,
so I'm
strengthening
my resolve
and starting
tonight.

This I say, and this I know:
  Love has seen the last of me.
Love's a trodden lane to woe,
  Love's a path to misery.

This I know, and knew before,
  This I tell you, of my years:
Hide your heart, and lock your door.
  Hell's afloat in lovers' tears.

Give your heart, and toss and moan;
  What a pretty fool you look!
I am sage, who sit alone;
  Here's my wool, and here's my book.

Look! A lad's a-waiting there,
  Tall he is and bold, and gay.
What the devil do I care
  What I know, and what I say?

dimmed in-candescent trails
streaming through thoughtlessness
grow old in cold knowledge
flutter and waste a shuttered taste
dreaming of wonder, lust
deeming trust a liars blunder

knowing only flowing undertow
bestow a bow upon the tower
lead the weak to seek another
pray for prey to bleed together

cower beneath the power, beseech
teach words that preach not leach
we'll reach the peak of leakage
peel back the streak of team credence

desensitize the lies and compromise
deny the times i tried to feel demise
your eyes guided me, blinded me
snatched vision from decision

pale walls involve crawling, sprawling
drawing proof to unroof this calling
pawning you to the coup of dawning
may we start again, this time, yawning?