And when I see her, my grin becomes a smile quickly…
A simple reaction actually, her smile is contagious
So even when I’m upset I become afflicted
And I love that but when we trade places
No matter how much I try, nothing seems effective
So I’m afraid she’ll get tired, get up and leave
That’s why I despise getting close, I hate deceit
Believing in something when it’s really nothing
And sure you may think I’m ruled by negativity
But in reality I’m cautious,
Simply trying to protect my positivity…
My heart seamlessly intertwined with these words creates sustainability
These words combined with my thoughts create invincibility
All of those previous things combined with my soul create vulnerability
Because writing brings me reassurance
But it doesn’t quite fix things
That’s what’s left for me to do
Then again, that’s only if I’m allowed to…
Now patience is a virtue I’m not quite familiar with
But I’ve become more familiar, in time, with you
Granted patience wasn’t the answer
Rather it was as simple as accepting what I already knew
Certain things are too good to be true
Now regardless of what’s occurred
We’ll get passed it because you mean way too much to lose
And clearly we’ve had our issues
But I couldn’t forget you even if I had the option to choose
Believe that,
The same way you should believe I have the upmost respect for you
So please forgive me for any vulgarity or offense that I may commit
Because you know me and disrespecting any female is the furthest thing from my wish
But what I do wish is that this distance between us doesn’t last
It just isn’t worth it…

-Jimmy Desire

All I ever wanted was you
and you can't believe that its true
cause I haven't been able to show it to you
words created from frustration
"I'm through, **** it, I'm through..."
Truth is my life was always easier with you
When I took the time to get to know you
hold back judgements to understand what you hid in the confines of your mind
So much so, at one point I could reply
"baby girl forever I'll reside at your side"
Your the only one I'd ever mutter those words too
so be still baby, I ain't going no where.
I'm determined to make you know
that you are one of the most important people to me...

I’m trying to find substance in something that’s transparent
But it seems to elude me before I get the chance
Like the wind,
It comes and goes as it pleases
And leaves its mark on the hearts of men
Uncertainty fills their mind as they attempt to remember when
they were consumed by it's affliction
and what it's done to them.

the memory flies by quick
but in the moment its timeless
its the simple things that make it all worth it
but in the end
those are the hardest to remember
what was it that i was feeling?
and when can i feel it again?
because like a drug im addicted to the amount of satisification
it brings
better yet i guess i'm addicted to the kinda person she is

love has no defination
so even if i cant tell you what it is exactly
let me descibe it in my words...
it's wanting to wake up next to you
to catch you at your most peaceful
its having you by my side
with interlocking fingers exploring the world
its being stingy and incredibily unreasonable about the time you spent without me
its something you never expected
but a feeling you never want to go away.
its letting go even you dont want to
its discovering that they mean more to you than u thought.

From the concrete who knew that a flower would grow
breakthrough and show the rest that anything is possible
struggle is everything the challenge is overcomming it
because if you dont how could you claim you have achevied anything?

Last night I saw the most beautiful thing
A woman held by the man she admired
he kissed her hand time after time while the night sky lit up in recognition of the 235 years of independence
**** those lights in the sky sure were bright
but this year she was the light to his world.
So i ask you lady to continue to be his guiding light
because clearly he's found something special in you.

I envy him too
because this affliction is a gift
and the game of hearts is delicate
luckily its brought him bliss
the same I'd always imagined with the misses
nonetheless, I'm excited that he's finally found it
something i have long to see...

Meet at the crossroad
a disclosed location safe in the cover of shadows
silence our ally
street lights - kryptonite
we shield our eyes
and listen intently to each others' minds
without conflict
trying to reconstruct it
...maybe one day...

lost in my train of thought
music is guidin me
no signs of slowin down
snap me back to reality
cuz baby i'm cruzing
where i'll end only i will kno
unless we stay connected
follow me
intertwined with my mind, telepathy
see what i see
life movin fast
billboards displayin moments in the past
bluring out negativity
regret's a strong *******
its been holding on too long to me
a tear streaks down her face and it tears down another side of me
a shadow encases her whole and suddenly i can no longer see
i can her whisper the words
"please just stay away from me"
until she fades
moving on...
a young man approaches me
I shake his hand
finally ready to face the world he decides to turn his back on me
stunned i look on
until i realize he's no longer within my reach
another door closes...
another one opens and i'm blessed with a childs laughter
the silhouette struggles to stand trying to find balance
if only he could comprehend the lessons being taught to him
he falls and regardless he tries again to accomplish what he sees others have acheieved
determination...
I turn to find a wall
texture is rough but presense is familiar
strong and unbreakable
and yet i chip away at its will as the years fade
cold, no longer as strong as before
easily breakable
no longer can you defend us
stand behind me
let's see what i'm made of,
please let me try
I can't stand to see you fall and i know i never say it but
Mama you mean too much to me...
Found but still lost
a mirror in front of me
confused to discover
exactly whats become of me.

Jealously brews insecurity
I guess that’s why the word love never held true to me,
Insanity…

You were the closest I had to it baby
Respecting your wishes, our eyes never meet lately
They wander around like hide and seek maybe
It’s crazy, i remember vaguely,
Sometime ago you told me we couldn't
That our friendship was too important
and that i should let the past fade
Like a second after history was made
But what are we without it?
Strangers with no connection or recollection
Of the algebraic equation we never found an answer to
So what’s say you?
Should we take a snapshot with the flash top
And wipe our minds clean of everything
Or illuminate the situation, try to use communication
To fix what we said we'd cherish and keep.
Not matter what.
So I'll swallow my pride
and ask you again to just sit by my side
Talk to me...

Late Night Blues
Old Style
Blue Color
Dark Shades
The scene starts under a streetlight
Trench coats in the rain
Two familiar faces meet to talk again
They don't look at each other rather
At the scenery
Dark,
all they can see is rain drops hit the ground
And hear the faint cars that zip around
Peace under the radiance that reveals them
They’re alone together
And when they both turn
To take their first glimpses at
Seeing who they haven't seen
Since who knows when...
She falls in his embrace
Reinforcing that he was missed
He looks at her and smiles
a glimmer in her eyes
The light dies
-Sigh-
Sunrise

-James Desire

I wouldn't have said it before if I didn't mean it
It'll take a lot for me to leave you in this life
and I know I act in ways that frustrate you
but thats only because it's so hard to face you
I want to fix things though,
it's killing me how are relationship now
so I'm asking you for a chance for redemption
to say I'm sorry.


A Plead For Change
Only if sorry meant something to you anymore
Maybe we could start anew
I would respect you as my friend,
Flaws and all
So that you could speak to me unconditionally
And trust you with my heart again
I’m not even sure where I stand in your eyes
One word responses being the only response
Reminds me of a time where I acted the same
I was hurt and I tried letting it go,
But it clung on and wouldn’t disperse
We got over it then
And unless you completely hate what I’ve become
We can do it again
Now I really want to try,
I want to be able to put my arm around you and say
“Wassup Bud?”
I’ve got to admit, a main reason why I cared so much before
Was because I loved you too much to lose you
And that is still the same
But the only thing that changed is
I’m not willing to love someone that isn’t interested in me
So if we reconcile things, I’ll leave my heart in the past
I’ll love you like I always had but I just won’t cross the line
I just want to be a friend to you again,
Please let me be the person you know I could be
It’s difficult but I could try to do it
For you… and me
Because from what I believe,
You would think the same.
-James Desire
Thursday, April 21, 2011//1:28

She used to like sing with me
One of the first was "My Boo"
It had a ring to it
She wanted to sing out loud
I couldn't go through it,
The hardest thing to admit
was I was going through it.

She caught me through music
the constant thing in my life
see the rhythm and beats soothed me
it brought peace to my life
she understood that, so we shared it together...
on the phone from 6 to 12
we never really noticed though
conversations were timeless
and I got stingy cuz I knew she had to go
forgetting that there was always tomorrow
Last few words were:
"I'll try to stay on but if I hang up you already know"
...[click] and there she goes

The first person that was ever there
and I never had to ask her
it was procedure
she would call me every night
but sometimes on the house phone
just cause she liked to see my sweat
especially when we had that stupid little bet
and I was invisible
see I thought she couldn't do it
but it's like it didn't faze her
first time I realized how important she really was
she completed the puzzle.

Eventually she had to go her own way,
I respected the distance
but offered my help if ever she should need it
words were never traded
new music became dull
and with the old I heard her voice
just as she would sing it.
Time passed and she came around like a boomerang
picking things up where we left them...
with promises to always be there
and also to be irreplaceable to one another.
Thing is I can't even remember why we started singing that fateful day
but what I do know is that day brought me a friend
that only death could separate me from
so no matter what comes our way,
I promise to be there if the song isn't enough to numb the pain.

What I continue to wonder though is:
am I actually being a friend,
or do I continue to push her away
with a love I can't shake?

I know sometimes I can be selfish
but in the end,
I just want to see you laugh,
see you smile,
see you living life to the fullest.

-James Desire

What if I kissed you?
would it be everything we'd hoped for
or would it shatter our dreams
because it seems this one moment could change everything
so what if we let whatever happens
happen
so that we'll have no regrets
and if we fail
we would've given it our best
so when night falls
I can finally put my mind to rest
instead of wondering,
"What If I Kissed You"

Better yet,
What if I told you I missed you?
would it bring up warm memories of the past
or would you disregard it
believing it to be untrue...
Fed up with how dull words sound so good
but never happen to shine through
I don't blame you
the fear was crippling,
it was like having stage frieght
I wasn't sure how to show you...
but you did
and you tried teaching me
but I was too blind to see
that what I wanted I had right in front of me
[sigh]
the ritual was so casual
that it seemed to lose its meaning
I just didn't want it to be meaningless to you
when it means everything to me...

Young lover
absent of the knowledge and experinece to confront her
and the inadequacy you develop as her eyes begin to falter at your image
and shimmer in another
I'm no one special
I'm just another other
Replaceable, if she would need another
Luckily she didnt...
and I grasped a part of her heart
so then if she ever needed me
I'd be there from the start
she asked to promise if the sands of time tested our friendship
would it diteriorate
or would I help make it stronger?
I promised I'd help to fix it
if it ever were to falter
In return,
I ask she'd keep faith and know I could not leave her
She's my best friend,
my life wouldnt be right without her

Surrender aint no option for ****** who's head noddin'
to ignorance which is bliss
man, arn't ya'll sick of this?
I mean whyd ya'll go to college
Just to throw out all the knowledge
You were broke when you got it
replenished then you forgot it
like **** the ****** who taught it
...
Brain Dead
Corporate schemes
will take whichever means necessary to make their money
which means selling cancer in a stick is fair game
as long as the public is willing to stay tame
One of the leading causes of death.
I know we could stop it just surprising that we haven't yet
so why **** our own for murders that they committed
when the government is knowingly killing the population that it represents
They're just a reflection to what we allow ourselves to be
Ignorant
...
Celibate
to scared to take that step
united as a country
because in this story
there are plenty that are speaking
but nobody will listen
meanwhile generations that are to come
like my brother, the little one
will face the challenge we've all encountered
to either smoke or pass
and I hope when that times comes
he'll be able to answer his peers
and say he's time is done
before it even started...
[Learn Something...]

You claim you want to change
but always find yourself back on that train...
Lost,
I know you need be on your own way
but a part of me wishes you could've stayed
because I miss you
and I can't shake this feeling my heart makes.
but this process takes time,
so I'll be waiting here when you decide to come home.
I just wonder where you've gone
and what you've been through
and I know I shouldn't worry
I know I can't save you
but I pray everynight that you'll find the strength to save yourself
because you're leaving a trail of destruction thats breaking a heart made for two
Meaning you're not only hurting yourself
but the ones around you.

I’m thankful to have met you
But listen to some words of advice
You shouldn’t doubt yourself
I know how it feels to be lonely
I want to experience love as well
But what’s love in this society?
***** sheets
Covered with the stench of disappointment in the morning?
Shame
Why does chivalry seem to be dead and gentlemen so close to extinct?
Because tradition has faded
The old days of taking it slow are gone
No time for the mind and heart to speak
If the body is too busy creeping into others’ sheets
And young lovers,
In love they think they have fell
So they continue the cycle as well
To find the love only fairy tales could tell…

Our words never seem to reach you
maybe you comprehend for a little then let love blind you
open your eyes,
don't let your heart speak for you
Caught in a cycle,
[The Arcade Speaks]: "You Lose!
Continue?"
A vet at this game
You're diggin' for change
because you can't stand that fact that
1st: Doesn't read your name...
I know you're hoping things will change
but how many chances will you take before you realize its been enough?

Now I know quitting ain't easy
but lets take a look at the past
I guarantee your pillows knows the good and the bad
though it cannot speak
it can feel the texture of each salty tear that it takes in
and no one said love was easy
but don't you ever stop and wonder that maybe you deserve better?
that maybe happiness does exist in a place thats not like this.

From what I see your self-image is twisted
but I haven't the chance to dig past the exterior
to excavate the secrets that make up who you are...
You've blamed yourself and let him repeatedly toy with your emotions at will
You deserve better than that
you claim its non-existent but how do you find someone new
when your past is a reoccurring day-dream of what you want to be?
Just because you haven't found him yet doesn't mean he doesn't exist...

Looks to me you have two options...
you can either continue to play the game,
or let it go [until later where you can resolve things]and make yourself happy
because now you aren't...

Much Love,
Jimmy Desire

God Amongst Humans [Superman]**
-James Desire

The weight of the world lies upon his shoulders
He falls to his knees trying to support their needs
He’s overpowered but won’t concede
His will is too strong to accept defeat

He needs to get back up
The cries and pleads have successfully infiltrated his mind,
Slowly revealing an emotion he refused to emit
Fear
He was strength to all that looked up to him
But look at him now
Kneeling to the pressures of the world when it needed him most
He had become more human than anyone thought possible

Doubt poisons his mind
“I’m not good enough,
Could a world inflicted by so much violence really become utopia?
Could one man with all my efforts to help, make that difference?
Can I change the world?”
He isn’t sure that he can
But he gathers his strength and will try again and again
Because the world needs an example
The world needs a superman…

Bianca Lorenzo
Your pretty wings stretch farther than the arms I long to hold
to fly into the breathe that speaks of sultry whispers in my ears
is what I dream of.
Your eyes can't reach my beauty
my soft exterior won't allow it
I seek the remedy that allows my heart to beat when i can't see you
so I close my eyes to feel the strokes that part my indecisions
Love took time by storm when it left us alone in quiet rooms
you leave my tongue heavy with the words that I can't roll out
and my heart beats in intervals of two
once for me
and once for you...

James Desire**
Reach for the sky
so that these pretty wings may carry you too
because we both dream of a shared solitude
that would ignite our souls and express our passion
so why not make our dreams a reality...
Steel chains cage my heart
with a lock in the middle that requires  your touch
free me and reveal everything that the smile contains
hidden inhibitions that call out your name
Our bodies rage in responce to each others animalistic phase
a struggle to tame our hearts begin whenever we reach this stage
so i'll give you all my love
and feed the beast that resides within us both
so we can both find ecestacy in each other....

It was a far-fetched dream to even to begin to imagine that you could be mine.
ignored the limitless amounts of time you said no
and translated it to maybe later...
because I never let anyone get to me the way you did,
and yet, you never wanted it
only desired the ones who you saw in your mind as ideal
should have noticed it then
you gave up our friendship for what you thought was real
can't say I blame you though because I did the same
even though you never wanted me there was a group of people I started to ignore because of you
regret it a lot because even if I didn't want to know they would tell me how to deal with you
and when to let go
but that option was non-existent to me until recently
I made a promise that I always intended to keep and I can still
but I don't understand why now a days you are so out of control
stories and stories bout what you did and with who
and it hurts me to know that's the way people talk about you
that's why I hold on to the past because I know whom you once were
I miss that girl everyday even though I can't have her
I mostly blame myself because maybe if I tried harder things wouldn't have end up this way
but who's to say what would have happened
so I'll put the past to rest as you request
and continue to live on with my life
but does that consist of you?

If it doesn't then maybe tomorrow shouldn't consist of memories of the past
just enjoy the present while we have it lasts
and for once when we say goodbye I'll leave it be
just like the way it was supposed to be

I still want to know why you write about someone you want to forget
while your with someone you called your best
and I know your past still haunts you
but numbing yourself to the point where your mask is literally your face is a dangerous chance to take
dont push away anymore.
what do you have left to lose?

My sister once told me that she gives everyone one a chance.
So I sit here and I wonder
why her philosophy hasn't been assimilated by others...
Doesn't everyone deserve a chance to show what they have to offer?
Man I hate that I love her and I know at times she feels the same way too. **** I swear that, given the opportunity,
I would've loved her the way I always wanted to...
I know the past is the past and should be left there
but these what-ifs and maybes love to whisper in my ear...
On nights like these, I wish she could understand how much I miss her.

I found her one day
mistakenly, I must say
I couldn’t help but stare and wonder
who she was and how she began to plunder my mind
Yet I could do nothing but that...
Wonder
How her very beauty intimidated me
Introductions were brief as I retreated to safety
In the solitude of someplace familiar
I wonder what’s come over me...

Her smile lingers in my mind like a veil of radiance
It brings me warmth and reassurance
You see she cleanses my mind of doubts and concerns
Brings me confidence and fear at the same time
But I like it,
This emotion is confusing and the scale is never balanced
This world is out of whack but you emit stability
It’s crazy…
I don’t know you but to lose you is like Shakespeare
A tragedy

I in no way want to portray her as perfection
But I swear given the time
I would come to love her imperfections
Help her reach her aspirations
**** I mean
All I really hope is that we can share this sensation genuinely
Because I’d rather her be something more than just a memory
As I sit here in solitude
I begin to muster the will to get up and follow through
Stomach the butterflies and this terror like stage freight
And reach out my hand to ask you out tonight
I guess the next move is on you…

[I can’t say I like her
but she reminds me of the happiness I want to obtain,
and the kind of person I want to share love with.]

As I Hold You In My Arms Part 2 - One Night
James Desire

-“Situations will arise in our lives but we gotta be smart about it”- Usher Raymond - U Don't Have To Call

One Last Time...

Now its getting late
the DJ makes an announcement - “This is the last dance”
All throughout the night
they found each other through a similar melody
and its strange because before tonight, they couldn't fall on the same path
it seemed as though there was no remedy.
He searched through the crowd once more
and saw her standing with a friend
extended his arm, so that they may share one last dance.

Its as if they knew it would end this way...
They’re eyes spoke,
his pupils, his hands, his heart
trembled in anticipation
as she graciously accepts his invitation
and he took her hand
whose warmth calmed his fear
reassuring him,

He held her close as he always did
and she lay her head upon his chest
listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat
for he was lost for words
and it seemed absurd
for he had what he wanted within his reach
Yet he couldn't act the way he expected to
As these thoughts ran through his mind
he felt her grip tighten breaking his concentration
as to remind him that this moment was theirs to share
and that he should recollect himself and enjoy it here
because wandering in a cluttered mind
he couldn't possibly find
the answer that stood before him

-As all this occurred the chorus plays-
“And if I ever
(ever fall)
in love again,
I will be sure that the lady is a friend
And if I ever
(ever fall)
in love so true,
I will be sure that the lady’s just like you...”

As they danced they recited these words together
as if it were a promise...

Then it all clicked
and finally he found the courage to press his lips against her neck
slowly kissing each portion of her delicate skin until he reaches her face
He pauses,
knowing that if he acts he can’t turn back
so he chooses a path
and instead of embracing her
he holds her in his arms for the duration of the song
thinking that it wouldn't matter if it was him or not...

It was just one kiss,
it was just another night,
and it meant the world to him,
there was no reason to ruin that
but he regrets it...
he should have taken the risk
a beginning of a long line of regrets
but he finally realizes when opportunity knocks on your door
**** the gun back,
let your presence be known,
and pull the trigger...
Bang!
How hard was that?

Calm Before The Storm
-Jimmy Desire

The mist from the rain continues to linger on
I can’t seem to see what’s far beyond,
My reach…
I listen and can no longer hear your name
Forcefully,
The thunder roared
It called out in pain
Tears from the heavens flood the world again
Eventually sunshine soothes the rain
He reminds her that he’ll always be back again
So flood the world with sorrow once more
And I’ll make it shine again...

So I guess I was right
But I pushed it upon myself
And I regret it
But can we really not fix it?
Cause you don’t seem conflicted
Just convinced
That I don’t give a ****
Truth of the matter is
I acted upon the same influence you did
But it wasn’t purposely
Just something that would happen consistently
So I’d fade into the background
And watched on without a sound
Cause a confession to this secret was unnecessary, I found
That too much was built up to let it all fall down
Remember when I told you they could never replace you
Then you looked me in my eyes and you told me the same too
What happened to that?
Were those just words?
Or did I hear something different that my ears preferred
But that’s over now
At least for you
Cause the things I said
I said because I meant it boo
But in the end you just proved to me what I knew was true
That losing me in your life was the easiest thing to do

Music and Love
-Jimmy Desire

As I sit here waiting for tomorrow
I remember the past and what it has brought me
I often forget how it was then compared to now
Smiles to giggles to Ha-Ha-Ha’s
The farther I go back the more I see
Man its crazy
Thoughts of you never seem to stop
We used to flow together like water
Drip Drop Drip Drop
Tick Tock Tick Tock
As the time goes by
Happiness turns into madness
And we don't know why
At first ignoring each other was just a game
Then it started to become a part of the picture frame
It seems that we’re both to stubborn to admit we’re wrong
But when worse comes to worse we gather up the courage to remember the song
A beat that plays throughout you and me
And although we don't see eye to eye
The music will continue to play through the fire
And even if the beat of our song changes melody
I still want to be apart of the duet we were meant to be
It doesn't have to be the same as before but we can improvise and make it better
Re-Invent the remix, not quite different from the original
A small change in words but same meaning
Well I guess only one question remains
When the music starts playing, can I count on you to be ready and
willing right by my side?

Free Yourself…
-Jimmy Desire

At last the chains of my heart are released
The thing I had once called love is now deceased

You’ve lost yourself
Sitting in a dark room
Crying over **** that used to be
So I call you up and try to do you a favor
Ask if you and I could chill later
You say no
I say fine I understand
Things take time to get over
But when your done drowning in sorrow
I could take your hand
And we could look forward to tomorrow
Pain comes and goes
See this life
Is the only one we get
How long do you want to take to heal?
When you could recover
And discover
That with every end
There is a new beginning
A new chance to get things right,
Your sight
Impaired from the tears you’ve cried
Blind you from the truth,
Things will eventually get better
You just have to want them to
…Live to life to the fullest…

And even the night's brightest star couldn't pierce the darkness that surrounds my heart.
With every beat my heart grows faint,
and the darkness devours just a little bit more of my love.
So maybe,
you could love me quickly
because before I go I would love to know that my heart beats for something other than to indicate that I'm still here
...alone.

corrupt ever word ever written
plus I put the blame on me when it probably shouldn't be
but,
reconstruction seemed well worth it

thing is,
well worth it expired three years ago
and I have to accept the fact that you went bad,
a path chosen while you were trying to stay strong
I guess you can't come to grips with the fact that you may be wrong

a mask is a mask
in time it will need to be removed
then what will you do?
deny the truth?
go on girl,
thats all you

- clap, clap, clap-

you play the part perfectly
got the audience to believe the act as well
but we can see through your home remedy
so increase dosage or throw away the recipe
because you haven't fooled us at all

I'm not even sure you comprehend what you're doing anymore...
what happens if we leave?
will you finally find satisfaction behind the shield you've created?
because all your doing is changing the people around you
You are who you are
you haven't changed you...
and maybe all you want is change,
a place to restart?

start with your heart

She once told me she was worth nothing
yet she did what others frowned upon,
and doing so truly made her happy.
That translates,
to me at least, that she has a lot self worth,
at the moment she knew the risks
and what people would say if they were to find out
but she would rather have a moment in the arms of the one she loved.
That’s courage sweetheart...
you are strong...
And yet through his eyes your drained of everything
I couldn’t anticipate what love could influence people to do
pushed against your own morals
that’s the battle
such emotion and passion allow us to do irrational things
and we know they’re wrong
But it feels so **** right
It’s a plight of your hearts desires
So go on girl, hold him tight
They’re plenty people asking for just
One More Night…

Cherishing her as if she were a star
and although it was far it granted a wish that close to his heart
but her shimmer quickly faded
he thought they could’ve made it
but because she destroyed herself from within
there was nothing left but darkness
and that wish could not exist without her
the wish was her...
she came and left like night and day
do you ever stop and think where the stars go to play when they're away?
and if they come back
why not simply burn into the atmosphere like the rest
and grant a wish of another whose heart is deprived of desire...
A cycle of disappointment
So what if airplanes in the night sky were like shooting stars
Ain’t a wish gonna come true tonight.

We wish everyday for something
never means that we will get it…
sometimes things just shouldn’t be
Then why can’t we go and forget it
Because no matter how much we want
Your heart and minds want what they want
A constant struggle between the two
But they’re the components that make up you

Its strange because time and time again I swear I’m done writing
yet your essence is poisonous
and against my will I pick up a pen and describe exactly how I feel
I can’t say everything I said before applies now,
mere strangers its hard to remember one thing and see another
Baby I’m so sorry that I bother
but if I could I would dip this pen into your essence
so that you could love these words too

Heart Break
Silent
Your mind runs through what happened
trying to understand where you lost control
when you very well may have not had it at all
you seek deep within to discover what had captivated you
yet your heart does not speak
you know very well its not complete
he’s claimed a piece for himself, and tossed it aside.

Your stuck trying to understand exactly how something like love could be abused
because throughout it all
its as though he was amused
carefully manipulating your heart to complete his hidden agenda
now you’re trying to find someone you once were
the after photos show a salvaged version, hardened by the pain he inflicted.

You think you’ve lost qualities that were apparent
You haven't they’re just lying beyond a door entitled, “The me you’ll never see”
and it hurts you more because you think it shows people you’re weak
when in reality you’re just individual
and believe me sweetheart people wanna tear that apart
because conformity equals normality and you’re just not a **.

On the case of “him” or “what used to be”,
he gave you happiness beyond belief so there was little reason to say no.
until a stampede of words reached your core and you had no choice but to let go
Thankfully,
time heals the deepest wounds
in this case you’re ensnared in a quicksand of memories that remind you of mistakes
and the sooner you accept them and stop struggling
the better chance you’ll have of escaping and recovering.

Worthless... Average... Not You.
You deserve more than what you give yourself credit for.

Much Love,
Jimmy Desire

Captivation

James Desire



Confusion erodes my mind,
as I re-read the words that have been engraved in time
words from the one I claimed was mine,
but never really was...

It wasn’t allowed
you and I, Forbidden
yet we tried to break the rules
and rebellion just wasn’t enough

Time with you was priceless
now it seems it was all meaningless
and I’m not sure why
You said, “I will always think of you as my baby”
but now it seems like you don't even know me
and I know a lot has changed, but I’m not transparent
“Can’t you see me?”

-Sigh-

Why’d we have to drift apart,
Didn't you believe the promise I made you,
that I would never leave you,
that I could never replace you?
It’s like it was goodbye forever
and you let the rain reach us
just so that it could teach us
that I couldn't protect you anymore
and it was time you broke free

Now,
time has changed the girl I knew and loved
into a woman whose has enough and scorns the world for the pain it delivered
our ties never really broken, just severed
by tension or little disagreements

Is this enough to break the friendship we once had or are we just calling it quits?
and for the record you may not have been captivated but I was,
just not by who you are at the moment...
With all this said,
Do you still think of me as your baby?
because after all we’ve been through,
no matter what you say or do,
I’ll never want to leave you.
You will always be my baby.

As always words are just words until proven otherwise,
but do you really think that these words have no meaning
because if they have none, then all of this has been for nothing
your amusement of my emotion, all because of a thought, a simple notion,
that I wasn't good enough for you...

Fragile

-James Desire



Your heart

A Flower

Ever so delicate

Takes time to bloom

In your case

It takes time to love

Or time to fall out of it

Even if you don’t want to

It might be for the best.



Your tears,

Trickle down your face

It breaks my heart

To see someone so beautiful

So strong

Sad and desperate for hope

Your eyes,

Become pregnant with the drops of your sorrow

Each drip

Echo’s louder than the last

You long for the sun

For with it she can express the spirit that has lie dormant

The sound of her voice

Although she may not realize it,

Brightens the day of many

Her smile emits the same cure

It’s a gift and a curse,

For she helps others

But feels diminished, empty

Her heart has infected her mind,

She follows its direction

Not realizing,

She is now impaired



Understand,

Your friends and I care,

Because you have shown that you do.

I’ve learned,

That the pain of a heart from another

Can be difficult to recover

But, possibly,

Together we can learn and grow

Because difficult isn’t impossible

Maybe,

Finally,

Conquer the sorrow that drowns us both

Reach a reality that once was a dream

A dream…

Happiness

Untitled
By: James Desire
                                    
Why do you put us through so much pain?
Do you really love him?
I guess we ain't the same…
A year ago,
We took a ride together,
In the rain and all the other bad weather
And yes we were cool,
Cause even after school
We were side by side
Chillen, laughin' and livin' the life
It was about a year later
And things got greater
Could've sworn you and I were meant for each other
But then things changed
We got so rearranged
And in the confusion of it all
Our connection was lost in the wash of the rain
And I understand what ever I thought we had is gone…
But whatever the situation may be
You know I'll always be there for my baby
And what I really want to know is…
Is this what you really want?
You still the same girl I met last year?
And Finally,
Since you wear a mask
Whenever I pass
Sometimes hesitate to ask
Are you REALLY okay?
Cause now a days,
The rain falls harder every time I hear your name.

…Until Next Time…

-Jimmy Desire



No matter how long I hold you

Things will never change

You aren’t a possession

But someone I’d like to call mine…



The hands of time have taught me a lesson

It’s not meant to be

But I continue to write because

You’re a constant dream

What kills me the most is that it isn’t reality

Dream turned nightmare

Still,

You haunt me

I welcome you with open arms

Cuz’ it’s where I’d rather be…



In Your Arms,

There’s no doubt

Silent,

But the sounds of our heartbeat

I look down,

Elegance in brown eyes

Lightly toned skin

And a comforting smile that satisfies me from within

The wind blows

And she clenches onto me

As if not to be swept away

She knows I’ll never let go

Her hands speak

Tricking her fingers around my back,

It whispers,

“Closer”

To ease her mind,

I hold her tighter and respond,

“I’m right here, I’ll always be here”

Under an umbrella

We stand

As the storm rages on around us

Pellets of raindrops fall with increased force

But can never pierce the fortress we created

Let the record show,

She’s irreplaceable



Finally,

Eyes stumble until they meet

The message is mutual,

“Until next time”

Unwillingly,

Simultaneously,

We break the chain that binds us

And drift back into reality…



Reality…



“Until Next Time”



Copyright © 2010 Desire Enterprises

Love’s Advocate Speaks Life

-Jimmy Desire



All the gold in the world

Doesn’t compare to you love…



Both are treasures

In which case,

Makes them hard to find

They corrupt the mind

Causing their victims to want more and more

Pirates,

Scour the world

Inheriting deception and creed

For the things they claim they need

Companions become enemies

As this intoxication spreads,

They lose sight of the important

They saying is,

“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”

So they find what one has lost

Reclaim them as their own

Then obliviously loses apart of themselves



The hunger that starves your heart

Is against human nature

Feeding it

Maybe the greatest satisfaction

Yet the little things in life

Can bring you just as much pleasure

So cherish them

Because they’re just as important

Reach…

-Jimmy Desire



In the silence of the night

He lies upon his bed

Unwary from the time that passes

He thinks of you

Staring at the ceiling

He remembers an old saying,

“The Sky Is the Limit”

Anything is obtainable,

If you just reach for it

As he submerged himself within his sheets

He forgets these words

And the meanings they preach

Because he doesn’t have you

Now lost and blinded by sadness

He yearns for you,

Morns for you because

He’s felt like he’s lost what he’s never had

And yet he can’t be mad

Because the world has taught him to love and cherish

Anything that he would ever have

Grateful,

For the lessons he’s learned

He does the one thing he knows best in return

To appreciate everything good in his life

And remember that although things may not always go his way

That there will always be another day, another opportunity

To do better, to be better, and to have better

Life is unpredictable,

Be ready…

Hidden Weapon
By: James Desire

See me walking on the vacant street
What’s your first thought?
Black kid up to no good
See me- surrounded by others, my brothers
What is your second thought?
Black kid in some gang
Must be tattooed and tough
Discrimination- Hidden Weapon
See the clothes I am wearing
Big baggy pants, dark Du-Rag and Ripped shirt
What is your final thought?
Poor old ****** living in a ghetto
Discrimination- Hidden Weapon
Now Listen,
You see me jetting through the silent streets
What would you assume then?
Arrest!
Call the cops
Must have been a ******, a robbery,
Another black boy crime
Discrimination- Hidden Weapon
I am just a black boy trying to survive
Trying to enjoy-just to stay alive
On the street
People judging me cause
The blackness of my skin
The types of clothes I’m in
Discrimination- Hidden Weapon  
Unsuspecting black child taunted, haunted…
Fearing that one word-*****
Should I be blamed for crimes committed in the past?
Choice-less decisions made
Pressure reaches ******
Everything seems lost
At the end
I feel blamed
Nevertheless, I blame you
Whites
Rejecting
Hurting
Me- hopeful
Pride-earned-not given
Defending
Defending my dignity
Discrimination- Hidden Weapon  
Should I be judged/blamed for past generations?
Then, blame me for…
The jazz of Louis Armstrong
The voice of Billie Holiday
The poetry of Langston Hughes
The photography of Gordon Parks
The character of Martin Luther King Jr.
The power of Coretta Scott King
The dignity of Fredrick Douglas
Finally, the individuality of James Desire
You seek evil in blacks
The past has also proven a positive…
A positive outcome
That helped the development…
OF OUR WORLD!

A Turn For The Worst
-Jimmy Desire

I got a disease
And need a remedy to feed it
Thought that the twilight
So bright
Could grant the one wish I needed
But What I Need is so hard to get,
So out of reach
I just can’t forget
The happiness, turmoil and all the in-between
Some day when I find out what this all means
I’ll take a look back and remember…
That my naive mind
Blinded by love
Could not conceive
That maybe,
Just maybe
I was not what you needed
Hm...
I wonder if you think I was conceded.
For I continued to cling to life
When clearly I was defeated
Torn
Was my heart from this lonely vessel
Fatigued
From the rhythm of its own beat
It lay dormant,
Asleep
Waiting for the day that it may meet
Another
And who knows…
Maybe other plus other
Could equal mutual love
And like the dove
Their love would soar
Giving hope to the hopeless
Those who had ignored it before
A chance to realize that their heart isn’t worthless
It just may be searching for more
In another.

Lessons Learned
-Jimmy Desire

Isolated,
Restricted within the confines of my own mind
Like a puzzle,
But the pieces aren’t compatible
See what you’ve done to me
Your actions don’t add up
My selfishness stunts me
It doesn’t allow me to understand what you want
I want to understand though
I do care,
I want you happy
I’d just rather you happy with me
All the time spent thinking about you,
Probably could’ve done more…

The mouse scurries in the light
But explores the darkness,
That becomes a shade of mystery
Light’s radiance exposes it
And makes it a possibility
See…
What the mouse doesn’t know is that
The two are one in the same
Mystery compels us to discover
But who knows what we’ll find
That’s our possibility
Possibility knows no limit
We wonder,
Estimate,
Infer,
Yet we can never be certain of
A Mystery,
Until we are willing enough to explore…

Truth of the matter is,
I'm sick and tired of not knowing where I'm going,
So I'm guessing its bout time I find out...
Well then, how bout you?..

Smile…
-Jimmy Desire

A smile,
A genuine smile
Emits the warmth
Of sunshine
Rays of expression
Absorbed by people
Deprived of happiness,
Depressed
The warmth is contagious
See with one comes another
The dim flicker gradually evolves
Finally,
Having absorbed enough
It shines
Blooms...
Into something called Human Nature
We may forget at times
Even something as simple as a smile
Can be the motivation
To tackle another challenge,
To push forward
To Live Life...

It's a reoccurring cycle,
Let's Light Up The World

Unity
-Jimmy Desire

Uncertainty and insecurity
Make up a false reality which engulfs your mind
This notion becomes a shade
It shrouds your vision
Blinding you from the truth
Caught in a struggle within yourself
You have a hard time being convinced
Of what’s really going on
Over analysis of a situation
Could lead to an unnecessary solution
So what do you do if you lack trust,
Or the confidence to make the right decision?
Find a shoulder to lean on
Someone to confide in
Even heroes need heroes sometimes
Giving in doesn’t mean your weak
But smart enough to know that you need help
And will ask for it
No one is perfect,
Everyone goes through the same things
Tell me why it is
That if we live on this world together
We can’t work through our problems together
This world needs more love and consideration
So I extend my arm
Reach out
To let you know
If you ever need it
I’ll be here for you

As I Hold You In My Arms... (Re-write)
-Jimmy Desire

Tension is released,
my stress becomes joy all within a second
your aroma
so sweet
overwhelms me
with each breath I take
mesmerize me
I'm in too deep
Still, I won't leave
I'm stupid
steady looking for something out of nothing
So I hold you in captivity
just for a second
and pretend that you were mine
Imagine...
if these thoughts about you and I were true
What I would say
if I were to whisper in your ear
what I'd do for you,
or to you...
the gentle hand which holds you now
familiar
decides to take a change of personality
untamed yet aimed to please you
caress you
go on gasp for air cause you've got to
no disrespect but I want to worship
the temple that is you
when I kneel before you
no words needed I'll let my hands tell you
that your what I believe in
someone once told me
"show, don't tell"
apparently I never learned this lesson very well
and I know actions speak louder than words
but then why do these words seem so significant?
Because every word spoken has meaning
value,
and if not for you then I,
these words explain
A love that can never be broken

"So What If?"
-Jimmy Desire

if you continue to expect to be hurt,
when will you be happy?
don't shove aside possibility,
how do you know it can't be
just because the thought hasn't processed in your mind yet doesn't mean it couldn't be
lemme just orbit around your mind until you get to know me
until a time where even when I'm not around
you can always find me
know that my presence lies within your heart
right where it should be
and baby if you tend to get materialistic
and my words are just words like sand in an hour glass sinking to fast to grasp
grasp this,
there is no one on this earth who would rather kiss your elegant lips
take the time to explore the library that is your mind
or even feed you your daily dosage of poetry. a crucial element that makes up both you and me

please believe that this is I...
stripped to my very core
hopefully this can be a shred of evidence explaining exactly why you mean everything to me...

Inception - Inspire Me
-Jimmy Desire

See I knew we could vibe sexually
But then you went and intrigued me in ways I had not perceived
I had a sample of what you had to offer
And soon after, I wanted you to feed me what it seems I’ve been deprived of all my life,
Intellect
Or even better
Someone who can challenge my thoughts with responses that make me even question my thinking
All the girls in the past,
they're minds were as vast as the oceans that we strive off of
But empty,
Lacking any substance or comprehension
Robbing me from a nutrient I thought helped the world develop
Draining me from patience I had once built up to protect me from the world's ignorance
She helped me regain it
A tree of knowledge
I reach and feast upon the fruit she produces but hold on to the seeds
So that hopefully I can plant them in the minds of others
And they will blossom spreading from mind to mind creating an idea that an entire population could understand
infection,
it spreads because they're learning and turning the pages of history books to find out
why this and that didn't work and what could make it better
So don't ever say that one person can't make a difference
because revolution is overwhelming
especially when you discover that one can become one million within a matter of days
information is power and with the media keeping the public in the dark its no wonder that we're sour
politicians tweaking stories so that they may stand atop tower
these laws and rules are scandalous when even the presidents decide to take a risk
lets make a list and discover which
presidents had accomplished this successfully

As long as there are borders, we will continue to break them
but then why do people continue to make them?
All this from a mind filled with intellect
so won't you take a minute with me and just recollect
that mind is a beautiful thing.

Simply Love
-Jimmy Desire

Have you ever been so captivated by somebody’s lips
That you get lost in the touch of their fingertips
So deep that oxygen can no longer find you
Instead you breathe her thoughts,
So that may you further understand the matrix that is her mind
And time utterly binds you because your body can only take so much
You break free
then rush to the surface only being able to inhale the idea of love
The intangible becoming quite tangible
Creating the ocean you were originally drowned in
Excuse me, your lost?
Well re-trace your steps and you’ll find when you were drawn in,
Caught,
Or for a lack of better words,
Taught
That your heart rebels

Truth or Fable?
Could a new world really exist and be able,
to enrich our lives?
Columbus thought so
He sailed there so that he may find the worlds’ treasures and claim them for his own
The idea of love is selfish
A single word that describes an entire race
Similar and yet so different
It’s a mutual journey with various results
Selfless
We share it
Because like in the pride lands
The circle of life represents a cycle that we all are a part of
So in the end we will all find it
And to our last dying breath we remember those who we’ve hold deep in our hearts
Hopefully at that time we’ve instilled our lessons into the future
So that the cycle becomes full circle and goes on and on…