Ashamed of what's behind me
Afraid of what lies ahead
I should find comfort
In the moment between
Where judgment has been passed
Where innocence is restored
I would find faith in that span
If I only knew what faith is
For I find myself begging for forgiveness
For sins I've already begged forgiveness for
In so doing I testify
My unbelief
My unwavering suspicion that none can be forgiven
Even by You
Even if I were to convince myself
That forgiving is not the same as forgetting
I would still blame You
For tying guilt to the memories
And giving  me the strength to dredge them up
From the well of experience
Where iniquity floats
While joy sinks
So deep, deeper still, lost, never mine
With the understanding of repentance
As stuffed as a shadow
Yet heavier than stone
You know, You know
I don't even know what it is
So how can I be saved?
How can I be saved from this awful moment?
Where the great I AM dwells
While I am pulled back by devil's lies
Counting out time, waiting
For the glorious moment
When I can slash that coil I'm tethered with
To sink down, deep, deeper still
Until murky water is air to still lungs
All I see, all I know, all I've ever known, everything I might have known
Will be shuffled off like a thick coat on a summer's afternoon
And this hope will be tested
My question answered, are hope and faith one and the same?
I hope so.
I have faith it is so.

Ease me down gently into the Dream
Forget what I see, forget what I've seen
Hold me down softly, free me from sin
All that I am, all I have ever been
Gently, son, gently
Into the dream

Make me a home now, deep in your heart
So that these generations won't keep us apart
To dwell in your memory, free of the shame
As time and forgetting atone for the blame
A home, son, my home
Within your heart

Sing me a sweet song to put me to sleep
The one I gave to you and told you to keep
Until the day came I would need it again
To scare away gods and demons and men
No sad songs, son
But sing me to sleep

Remind me, my son, of the things that I said
Of no looking back, only looking ahead
Today is no different, though my eyes cannot see
This place where I go that my mind can't conceive
teach me again, son
These lessons I've taught you

One last thing now, before I begin
This eternal journey that starts at the end
Of a life filled with love, my last wish will be
Take mine with you, son, I'll take yours with me
Before I begin, son,
Ease me into the Dream

I believe her when she tells me
How you've become a monster
She has no reason to lie...

She says you are filled with hate
But I know the truth is more complicated
You just bounced from one wall to another
We both drank from the same fountain

She says I wouldn't recognize you
I'm sure she's right
Even more sure
She wouldn't recognize me
We are both paying

She says she doesn't really get along with you
What could you have done, I wonder
To push her away, it's sad, because I know
In pushing her you exacted revenge against me

She tells me a lot of things
They hurt, they anger, they pour salt in the wound
And I would listen to her all day long

Because I long to fill in the gaps
The years absent of you

I want to know that I hurt you almost as much as you hurt me

If you ain't gonna listen
I ain't gonna talk

I think they blow demon's breath
To knock the weak to the ground
Some of them don't even realize
How they're being used
Willing, ignorant mouthpieces
Gleefully spitting the Name of the enemy
Gracefully twisting the Word despised
Into something unrecognizable

I think this was the first time I noticed
That song doesn't move me like it used to
It's nothing, really
I just thought it would always move me
I figured it would never grow old

All the idols
Crafted in cheap tin
Dipped in ***** water and left to rust
Bored of your graven image

Yes, you've stolen more than years from me
I don't want them back
As if you hadn't ditched them
One at a time, without a care in the world

It only makes me lighter
Easier to float

I want to knock down your idols
I gave them to you I should be able to destroy them
I should be allowed to crush them with the same hammer
I used to drive the nails into Christ's
Hands
and
Feet

I want to uproot your garden
The one I planted and presented to you
Flowers of all shapes and colors I thought
You needed reminders of the ideas I once held dear
Dear enough to till in fertile soil
That have proved poisonous
Black and rotten to eyes of age
While the serpent has not found the young yet
I want to pull them out, all of them out
I need to yank them out, weeds and all
Maybe it won't be too late
To sow better seed in that growing land