Jill Davidson

Jill Davidson Dec 2011

I come to you completely.
I come bearing myself.
I am ready.

You are with your family.
You are with you friends.
You are not available.
You are not mine.

My emotional nature makes me write these words
Makes me feel these feelings.
Makes me cry these tears.
Its not you babe. It is me.

I am following this path not knowing what to expect.
Not knowing where it will lead.
I am trusting the universe to guide me.

And I come to you completely.

Jill Davidson Dec 2011

Inflight Insight into the Heart (and Seoul, Korea)

If we can travel and enjoy and be everywhere
Who is to know where the heart is really?
The heart has eyes, can see, knows the way.
Tempers, tidal waves, tsunamis, towns and cities.

Being in love is the tops, the best, the bounty.
I have found the treasure.
I have swallowed and been swallowed up in it.
This love has taken me.
This love has saved me.
This is me.
I am seeing me again.
Long lost me.

It is nice this fantasy, this feeling, this fortune of love.
This is wondrous, has filled my heart with song.
Has filled my oneness, my ownness, myself with the fountain of youth.
With healing and air.
With heart beats, and blood flow and mind occupying thoughts of meeting
And touching and talking and more.
Warmth
Warming
Wanting more.
I am full where I never knew I was empty.

More of my life has opened up now
More of my fears have been made into nonsense.
For me to want to expand,
Expound,
Expatriate,
For me to fly to experience and to enjoy is proof.
How can this be wrong or unsound or mean or unjust?

My heart, my soul, is wrapped in a warmth that I thought was long lost.
I am in love.

Jill Davidson Dec 2011

Illicit

Much of what I say
May be construed as movement from one man to another.
Much of what I think
Has no place in my thoughts.
Most of what I feel has more to do with hormones and what I need.
Sorting through this is a task I feel will bring me to a happy conclusion in the end.
Delving in swimming deep, submerging, enveloping, covering, coating.
Blanketing, tucking in, encasing, swaddling, succumbing.
Releasing, rejoicing, including, accepting all that is him.

Making room for me to love him.
Taking time for me to touch him.
He was with me
He ignites me.
He is my evermore and he is my now.

Jill Davidson Dec 2011

Girl Meets Beach

The beach stays here all day when I am at work and does its thing.
Waves back and forth.
Birds on the water.
Surfers.
People taking pictures.
Walking.
Throwing ***** for their dogs.
But the beach stays here even if I am not here to see it.
Waves like breaths in out in out.
So alive.
It has its moods. Has its rests and is quiet.
Changes the sands like brushing its hair.
Flat and smooth sometimes and messy and ruffled when the wind and the people feet mess it all up.
Then the tide comes in and smooths it down again.

It reaches towards me at high tide beckoning, calling me, reminding me it is there.
At low tide it goes back into itself and takes care of business.
Maybe the tide pools are exposed maybe not.
It doesnt care.
The beach the bay is taking care at low tide.
Reconstituting.
Recycling, reclaiming itself.

Jill Davidson Dec 2011

Wanton Words

I am blown away.
I am.

Today was great.

Having you there,
your words,
enhances the experience.

Your words,
all of them,
mean alot to me.

You say you delete them after you write them
but they are more permanent for me.
A part of my history.
A part of my story.

I am thrown off balance by how much meaning, feeling, arousal you imbue in so few words.
I am thrown off balance by how much you mean to me.

I am yours.

Today after we parted
I walked on the beach.
I walked far.
The tide was out and I could go the full length of the beach.
It was dark as I headed back except for brilliant reds and purples
and golds
in the sky
in the west that remained from the sunset.
Most of the people had gone and I stopped
to meditate towards the remaining rays.
I swear in my stillness I could feel the earth move under my feet.
I could feel us spinning.
I could accept all that was happening to me.
Take in everything.
Appreciate the now.
Because you see it is hard for me to not have you around
always
or mostly
or ever.
It is hard for me these days of being newly alone.

I think about you through out the days that have gone by
and all the days to come.
I think about you and bring you to me in my mind.
As I always have.
All these years.

Just so you know.

— The End —