My chest feels tight
My breathing quickens
I don't know how to feel
The thought sickens
Every being of my existence.
I don't do goodbyes
I cannot face them
I don't know how to deal
Even the thought of them
Makes me want to cry.
I feel weak and vulnerable
I can't handle it all
I can't face the eye contact
The final hugs
And all the tears that will fall.
I am not ready.
I need more time
But more time means nothing
When it is never enough
I need more time.
Time with you
But then that means less with her
I need you both.
But life is too ****** up to make it easy
Especially with me and her.
I love you.
More than you can imagine.
Our souls are intertwined
And distance can't change that.
Nothing will change us.
We are whole and together
We can do it all
Tearani, I'll always be in your heart
When I can't be squished in a tiny bed with you
Or singing down a road late at night
Or seeing cows in the sides of barns
Or laughing at not funny things.
We are always connected with our soul.
Forever.

I'll miss the laughs
And all the smiles.
I'll miss the jokes
But all awhile
I know I must go.

I'll miss the hellos
The I'll see you...Fridays...?
I'll miss the hugs
And the soon to be parties.
But I must go.

I'll miss casual Sundays
Claire's dances and Collin's jokes
I'll miss Jessica's laugh
Tami's hugs and James' voices.
But I'll be going soon.

I found a family I didn't know I needed.
A family of weirdos, jokers, and kind hearts.
I found people who understand and care deeply
I found a place for a fresh start.
But I must go.

I go on to big things
Huge changes and excitement.
I move on now, but now
I've lost some of the enjoyment.
I'm leaving more than one family.

I sit there thinking,
Just thinking.
Wishing and wondering
If the water could wash it all away.

I sit there thinking
Maybe, just maybe
If I sit there long enough
Scrub my body hard enough
It'll wash it all away.

I wonder if I can
Watch all the hurt, pain and sadness
Circle the drain.
Watch it be all washed away.

I sit there
Day after day
Hoping and wishing maybe today
Or maybe even tomorrow
I can wash all the hurt
The pain
The sadness
The fear
Far far away.

You deserve perfect;
Because isn't that what perfection deserves?
I want to give it to you.
I do my best
But, I can't help but second guess.
How did I get chosen?
Me? Really, me?
I know no one is really, truly perfect
But, you are to me.
My other half.
You simply complete me.
And I am baffled each day
That I do the same
For amazing you.
I want to understand.
I search for the answers.
They just won't come.
But I guess that's what love it.
A lot of unexplained questions.
A ton of emotions that can't be understood.
I guess that's what love is;
Because who has a definition?
Who can tell me what it really is?
Who knows?
All I know,
All I truly, completely, with all my heart know
Is that I love you.
Completely.
Without a single doubt.
With all of our imperfections,
Swimming in a pool of confusion,
Mistakes and unanswered questions
I love you.

You are my love
My best friend
My cuddle buddy
To the end.
You are my moon
And my stars
The air I breathe
The ground beneath me.
You love so much
But always have more.
Determined to grow
But I am so lucky just to know
Perfect you
With eyes so blue.
A love so strong
It lasts through it all
I love you, Capri
And I know you love me.
And that to me,
Is perfect.

You deserve so much better.
Better than a girl who panics
Who says the wrong things.
Better than me.

You deserve the world
And all it has to offer.
All the good and the kindness
That is better than me.

You deserve the best.
Because that's what you are
Pure perfection.
You deserve better than me.

Friendship is not always having the words to say
But always being there to listen.
Friendship is a shared silence
Because we are comfortable in it.
Friendship is having each others back
When times are rough or easy.
Friendship is knowing that you will be there
No matter where I am.
Friendship is the only thing that can bridge
Miles and time.
Friendship is
You.