Through all the ashes and the hard times, the first time she looked at me her eyes made me smile,

when I think of it, you are the life of my heart.
You’re the reason I smile when I find everything so hard.

With every breath I take and the magic we make. I’m yours and you’re mine, you, my best mate.

The feeling I feel when I’m with you and when you’re not around I always miss you.

I remember the day I said  i do put the ring on my finger Then I kissed you.
Marriage, this thing, this special thing that we are in, two lovers for life, as strong as this ring.

And now I smile I  have a wife in my life. romantic trips to the isle-of Wright candle night dinners down Gun Warf, watching the ships pass by.

Laughing trying to count the stars in the sky, many city’s Iv lived in who would of thought Portsmouth City, is the place I would call home don’t need nothing else but me and my wife.

Planning our future together travel the world to many places, from France to Dubai to Australia to many other city’s calling us.

For she is my happiness and he is mine two.

JidosReality 3.10.17

I had to write this for you I have to let you know, you always make My Heart Happy but now it’s sad because you got to go.

You picked me up when I was down and showed me how To Smile you always seem to bring life into this Broken Heart of mine.

You truly amazing my Angel you one of a kind, you the happiness to the smile on my face, every time I feel down I close my eyes and remember what you always say.

Don’t worry my friend everything will be okay, and I thank you for this from the bottom of my heart you will always be My Best Mate.

So Good By my good friend till we need another day.

Love Loads JidosReality

My mind is Blocked it’s broken like a stone, this rizzla I'm holding is the only life that I know.



Go away and run away see my soul has become cold, it’s trapped in the past its future could never be told.



It’s lost on a rough and bendy looking road Silence is alive but lost in a dream were many story’s could never be told.



It’s looking for the cradle where it came from before it was born, a place that has no destiny only time that protects its soul.



Where words have no meaning and memories are never known, where sound makes no noise and every feeling keeps you cold.



Every touch has no dream for a moment you wish you were free, to hold onto your life as it teaches you how to breath.



My smile craves for a cuddle but it’s locked up in a dark little cupboard, secrets whisper things that I never what to see when I sleep.



Go away and don’t look back at this thing that’s taken hold of me.



Jidos Reality 18.11.1

Family what a lovely looking tree, amazing how it makes you feel deep with-in.

You can always turn to some one for some help solving a problem. You laugh you cry! Family are your guardian you are they angel.

They teach you how to walk and talk with respect, they cuddle you when you need it and leave you with that warm fuzzy feeling.

Your birthdays are always special, balloons and cake for you to remember. Blow out the candles and make a wish for something special.

But sometimes family can be the worst thing in your life, you never saw it coming now your family has disowned you.

They don't appreciate your pleasure or the love been in your life, it's against all they tought you, they feel like you've let them down.

No mama or pappa Get out from our house! there's no food in ya cupboard, no water to bath or shower. Your brothers drug habit causes such madness. 

But his family still has time to help him. Your family tree is broken and cold you never did drugs or caused madness Oh No.

But family have chossern to love who they want depending on the day if you lucky you might get a smile that's been searching for ya soul.

JidosReality 3.3.14

All These Problems in my life are putting me in a position that’s not right. Turning My Life into a misery and I ain't got the Anger in me to fight.



It’s making me wonder is there more to this life, I never asked it to come along and take away my smile.



Now it’s got me thinking what can I do to make this right, how can I Forgive and forget?

This Pain I feel inside.



My tears cry they own tears of tears without any smiles, with questions Wondering Whispering Shouting out why?



After I talk to you and lie to you, look into my eyes, everyday is a Struggle all these problems have come alive.



I want to rip out every Heat Beat I feel inside, destroy every answer that has a question why?



I'm sad but not a coward that would take his life, there’s no more love hear that feelings been gone a while.



I'm trying to be calm like snow falling on ice, my world is so cold it’s broken up like ice, every piece has a meaning it’s melting away my smile.

All These Problems that I have are destroying my life.



Jidos Reality 13.7.12

Time cannot be measured by the Days that you have experienced, you cannot fear the Future when the Past is almost near. 




This second will be a minute what an hour another year, another day gone just listen cant you hear. 




Today felt just like yesterday could it be like a different day? Maybe today will bring more Meaning to everything that I say.




When a Breath is taken another blink is created another world a different sound will be created, another story this chapter is re-created. 




This memory is exploited different days that have taught us the Truth will always stalk us. 




When you lie behind the truth it will always stare you in the face, the Mirror never lies it will always tell a story that has to be played. 




Always takes you back to that memory that u want replaced.Smiles and Tears all have one thing in common they expressions that only ever show up on your face.




Jidos Reality 12.10.11

I'm as nervous as a Tear Drop that’s about to be caught by a smile, my stomach is filled with butterfly’s that have no were to hide.



I'm shaking like a cloud that’s filled with thunder that’s about to bite, I'm sweating like the desert in the summer time.



That has just seen a mirage lost some were in the dark night. My thoughts create visions of my emotions slipping bye.



I wonder why they whisper as each one comes alive; they Trapped in my head all fighting for a place to hide.



My smile try’s to catch them but the reflection in the mirror has already got them, the words that I speak seem to have no meaning to what they think.



To lie would make me think has the truth just left me, the truth is the beginning of the past, the weakest link to every question that we ask.



A silent word that slowly eats away fast, many lies become long Shadows trying to open up doors that are locked.



The truth cannot be replaced even when memories have lost they place, I'm as nervous as a Tear Drop that will be lost some were in the past.



Jidos Reality 19.1.12

What a promise this is a wish come true, I don’t have to worry about bills or borrowing money of you.

I don’t have to worry about waiting for a bus when I’m in a rush when it’s raining, whilst I’m watching you drive pass.

No fuss no more empty stomach that’s the past, No more beans on toast I’m loving  my Sunday roasts All my food is now fresh not four days old.

I never saw it coming and it did, and I never run i waited for this moment i always hoped that it would come and now it’s in my life ill make sure it’s never gone.

I hope you read what I’m writing and understand where it’s from, A promise is a gift a wish that comes along it will always be lost my a memory that feels wrong.

A thought in my head because my heart has just turned around its looked at the truth through the eyes of the lies in the dark.

My mind is amazing it understands all this love from my heart; they will both be there together from the end till the start.

Jidos Reality 25.10.11

Reality is the only dream I live in, I've stopped searching for the clues to the life of my destiny. 

I feel left all alone as cold as a stone that's covered by snow. Today felt like a silent picture searching for sone colour in it's world.

The ones that I trust are only happy when I hurt, I fought all my demons by my self when I was been kicked lying there in the dirt.

This picture was painted by an artist with a broken brush that had no thirst. It's colours were as dim as a fire fly been swallowed by the mist.

The road in this picture leads to a dark place were silence lives. Were screams feed the heart beat life that makes it hurt.

Were pain will not go! It gets deeper as your tears only make it grow. The trees have no leafs! Only branches filled with lost memories that twist.

The rain drops are cold, the wind seems to whisper shhhhhhh! Like it knows. It wonders and moves around this picture with no were to go.

The moon is dim it's light has run away from the night, taking away all the stars that shine bright, because they happiness never felt right.

Come with me into this picture that's so cold.

JidosReality 4.4.13

Why do you think you running around collecting “Stars” filling many jars up with your heart?




Hiding behind your fake smile this illusion will have to stop, falling down a dark hole the more your love has to starve.




It’s lost like the night were there’s no full moon to show you light, your heart doesn’t beat it’s filled with lies that want to fight.




Destroying everything in peoples life’s that are right, You twisted and scared your heart is as dark as the shadow by your side. 




Your smile is so sad it tells me a story that’s from hell, were fire always burns and hatred turns and lives in your veins. 




Pain whispers words that make you sick, the faster you fall the deeper you think sometimes you need to stop and face the truth when it speaks.




Open your ears and set all you emotions free find the key that you lost and open up your destiny.




Don’t let hate take over you or all the lies control you something isn’t right, every night I’ll pray for you. 




Jidos Reality 21.10.12

My reflection looked at me with no life in it's eyes. It put it's hand out the mirror and grabbed me by the throat, and pulled me inside into it's world on the other side.

It was like standing in the dark watching my own shadow cry. My thoughts were all screaming! Crushing me as I tried to stop thinking.

My anger turns into rage. No laughter on my reflections face, sadness has taken over happiness has lost it's place.

So cold in a world were the sun shines all day, were the stars always shine every night they shine so bright.

As I look and wonder? Why my shadow cry's it makes me numb. My destiny has been chosen death will have to come.

A voice starts to whisper you won't be missed, you were never loved. Take these pills an cut your wrists.

Your life has no meaning, once you dead you can stop screaming. Don't be afraid of the other world were broken souls and tears have to go.

A place were there's no reflection and many mirrors waiting to watch you waiting. 

All your problems seem to be lost, and your thoughts no longer rot. Your heart will never beat and crave love from deep with-in. 

My shadow doesn't speak it stands there as silent as the darkness all around me.

JidosReality 24.1.14

Let’s live and let live I put my trust in Portsmouth from the day that I got hear, to rebuild my life for my beautifully children.

Portsmouth my favourite the magical places it has taken me, walks down Southsea on the beach listening to the waves whispering I me.


Planning my future teaching English to adults and been a mentor for immigrants.

Helping them settle showing them this beautiful city called Portsmouth.

This city of culture, city of peace fills my spiritual energy with faith and belief.

Let’s integrate we can do it together we need more love to super side hatred.

We need more strength to resist our weakness,
we need more inspiration to light up our inner-minds. We need more learning to erase our ignorance.

We need more wisdom to live longer and happier, we need more truths to suppress deceptions. Let’s integrate for our children’s future awaits.
JidosReality 8.10.17

As my Mind Twists and turns deep with-in inside, my Broken soul has no were to run away and hide. 




From all these Fears my Tears create from running down my eyes, if only I was taught how to laugh than maybe these tears would be a memory I’ll never ever want to be lost.




I’m scared of loneliness I’ve got no one there to love my heart, I don’t even have a birthday wish or my name on any ones Christmas card. 




I’ve Lost everything everyone I’ve ever loved; I took for granted everything they did for me back in the past.




The future holds nothing for me but Pain trapping me in the dark, My poor souls crying out can you help me because I’m lost,can you fill the emptiness that I’m feeling in my heart.




I just want it to stop I don’t want it to rot; I don’t want it to take away the little happiness I have left in my heart.


Because if it’s taken away it will be gone it will be lost. 

It will never come back to my Broken Beating Heart.


I hope you like my honesty I just didn’t know where to start. 

I’m only looking for Love that thing that Protects and always warms up your heart. 




Jidos Reality 13.10.11

My taste buds are tingling sitting Hear in my favourite restaurant wa

iting for my Chicken Nando’s you amazing. Watcng all the people around me filled with laughter and joy, I’m so proud to call Portsmouth City my Home.

See hope in my hands, nothing ever happiness like you imagine it will, but than again if you
don’t imagine nothing ever happiness at all.

Your soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts, so be the change that you wish to see in this world. You see if you ever find your self in the wrong story leave.

I find my self in a story working towards
my dreams. From adapting to learning and
respecting those around me. Learning English my favourite words “


Thank you portsmouth For looking after me.
And one day

when your car needs a-bit of TLC I’ll be right Hear to help you with my Tool Box Spanner’s Nuts and Bolts.

For the hope portsmouth gave me and helped me to For fill my dreams. Now please Take he Hope from my hands and go and For fill your dreams.
JidosReality 3.10.17

Happiness is the price I had to pay for my smile it came along and all it did was made me cry.

The smile the twinkle in my eye the days when I thought I was by myself, the medication the mad house talking to a mouse no answer back because I was lost.

The sound felt so soft a Cold Chill running away very fast, Thoughts leaving my head taking me back to the past.

Reminding me that I could never be loved I would always be starved I looked for happiness but all I lost was love.

Found it hard to trust begun to feed on anger my world was lost in the past, I hate happiness it crushed my heart very hard.

I open my eyes but all I see is the dark, no light at the end but a cold door waiting for me to pass.

Hears the key there’s no rush it will take it’s time and eat away at my broken beating heart.

Happiness is a word I want to leave in the past.

Jidos Reality 15.10.12

They were staring at me with Evil looking eyes; with not funny faces this dream had come alive.


It’s making me scared to sleep at night; I hear knocking at the door and can feel this dream is filled with horrible thing’s to show my eyes.


I'm scared but as much as I bite my pillow it can’t do anything to make me smile, The evil is hear it’s come to be my friend tonight.


Won’t you help me I Scream and Shout and Cry! This dream is a lonely feeling I have to get control and a hold of it tonight.


It makes me so scared it got a hunger that bites this horrible dream is something that will always be the reason I don’t smile at night.


It makes me numb been in the dark not able to move feels like I'm stuck Paralysed from the bottom to the top, my eyes are open and screaming wake up!


I'm trapped in a dream that has no end to its start; I'm lost in a world that’s brought fear to my heart.


My heart beats faster raging as it runs; this dream is a thing taking me were horrors scream out because they lost.


Jidos Reality 30.11.12

I’m defining every Word that has ever been Spoken I’m rearranging every line that I wrote that feels Broken. 




I’ll be causing a stir bringing Thunder Storms to this ocean, show you this Mirror you looking at this Reflection ain’t broken.




It’s been put together like a Puzzle Piece it always fits, It’s stronger now more than ever I’ve never felt even better. 




The Meaning to the words that I Write always speak, they will either make you Smile or Cry or make you Think. 



There was a Time in my Life when I was broken and I was weak, I was Locked in a Padded Cell were only silence used to speak. 




It used to tell me and make me wonder about the things that I did, the Madness the Sadness all the Happiness that I missed. 




And now I’m happy because the madness has made me Write Poetry! that’s so deep, It comes from the Heart I can only tell the truth it’s just how it is.




Jidos Reality 20.10.11

Some days I start thinking about thing’s, things that make me fall asleep in my dreams. Every day is a new story, that’s how my life seems.

I got to close this chapter to wake up from this dream. It’s easier said than done, that’s how it seems. Pop a pill or two and my thoughts become clean.


Then I stop and think? How should I change this thing? My life’s a blessing, no more thoughts that scream.

I bought a bunch of roses and even got you a ring. No, she says. Then I start to think, what a stupid thing. I should have thought first before buying this ring. And for those roses, well that’s another thing.


Maybe I should close my eyes and count to three. Then open them up, this maze in my mind my thoughts become free. I should get a tattoo labeled someone help me.

People stop and stare, whispering, pointing fingers at me. I don’t really care my thoughts are now free.

Next time you come around and want to see me. I’ll be pointing my finger at you not me.

It’s such a funny place, the places I’ve been. It’s such a strange view, which my eyes have seen. Have you ever felt weak at the knees?

You find it hard to understand, is it all about me! I’ve got to take a walk to find the magic tree. Lay down on my back watch the birds fly free.

This weekend was lovely, no one there for me. Nothing but the sun, the beach and the sound of waves around me.

Jidos Reality 13.2.11