there are shapes
in the trees
that I could never
describe to you
and I want to

and the sounds in the breeze
that feel the
same

and if you open
my window
I might
be able to
show you,
tell you
about the calamity
of my eyes and
ears
and the sun
may slide
across the carpet
across your toes,
filling you
or us
with a
locomotive heat
like closing eyes
to the rolling
of thunder

open the window
so I can see
the trees,
so I can
hear the wind

my sand
in an hourglass

I am looking at the snow
outside through a
thin sill blind
and still
few things whiter
as from the rays of
daylight but rather
I prefer
the night on the
frozenness.

warmth is bringing those
grass oases and
they are much like
cloudholes through
dayblue sky.

but still it is
cold

and I am thinking
in a summer way
of grass cutting
and flat air
through which
dovesongs may
or may not
travel

there is nothing poetic
about walking away from friends
to get a cup of coffee
in the cold.
it is just cold
even if you burn yourself
just cold

is that dirt on my thumb?
it may be
is that a car in the drive?
it may be
is that a word
carried from the wind
to ring everywhere
and to resound;
I don't care

I am not fierce enough
to do and say
what greatest takes
what greatest needs
I am needless wordless
but only not heartless
wan, rye
and mostly stricken
by doubt
of voice
and reason

yes,
reason is generally worthless
a stark collector
with no pardon
with not a kiss of suspicion

and yes
I keep a cold house
for why not wear
a sweater
indoors

for a few moments
we stood
beside a flowing water
shaded only
by barren trees
and the grey of the sky

and for a few moments
we kissed;
dogs chasing
at our ankles
the smell of spring
so strong

and the night before
(it was beautiful)
she felt my face
as it was too dark
to see
the way
I felt

and I couldn't stop
even when she said
"I won't"
even when she said
"We can't"
even when
I was just holding my breath

she told me
how it wouldn't work
and my sullenness
so easily broke so sweetly
into kiss after kiss

maybe I am a fool
but simply:
I love

we drank so deep from a bottle so thick
and you
looking through the slickness of this mirror
into
my eye

you tried so hard
to get me off
and I told you sweetest things
and what's best I told the truth I
told you what
is true

edge of the bed I had my pants down
around my thighs
and here you are
you are
a seventies rebellion
filling the room so thick so hot
like the stereo speakers yelling
"damaged by you
damaged by me
I'm confused
confused"

we're both speaking to doctors
speaking always better
to one another
but you wouldn't admit that
sooner to be farther
farther to be nearer
and nearer to hear better
my breath into your ear

my shirt was green darling
and your shirt was red
I gave it to you
and then you gave me head