Dear Dad,
I love you but you're not here.
Zach and Kate has a dad who picks them up after school
and who pushes the back of their bikes while they steer-
Even Stephanie's Dad that lives away shows up more than you do; if you ever showed at all.
It's not like you went across the world to fight or that you died in the prime of life.
I believed you when you said you'll always be there.
Yet you  never really did plan on living with me forever?
While I wasted every year wishing for you,
waited everyday by the phone for a call,
spent every minute daydreaming you'll surprise me by the steps of my door
ready to make a new home with all of us together but
you were spending every second of your life tending to children I've never seen before.
Bad things don't happen without a reason.
So it must be my fault...
My punishment-
Cause I'm mean to my little brother when his dad visits more
Cause I bullied the dog mom bought,
Cause I don't know who else can be blamed.
If I'm good this time would you keep your promise and come home?

I gathered all my love and affection together
and after time of carefully holding it dear to my heart those feelings turned to a ball of light.
Day by day it became harder to hold onto, more painful to keep and evermore lonesome tucked within my embrace with nowhere to go.
These feelings became a burden, a reminder of a tragic affliction.
I wanted to abandon it, to forget it, to replace it with a lighter burden-
but such a feet I could not accomplish.
Slowly I became a soul ****** to walk the earth burdened by my own feeling like a spirit trapped in limbo by it's own lingering attachments.
Just as I wanted to curse my petty existence,
to denounce the joy I once felt and to empty my heart for the darkness to feed
I looked up one last time and saw what I had been so blind to notice.
As if Apollo himself whisked upon the darkening sky to free my plagued soul
I found the answer out from this onus.
The sky has become filled with lights burning as bright as mine
so I threw my orb  beyond the horizon that lay before me.
Hopefully this light filled with my love and affection will reach.
My burden is freed and I can live again.
What lies in the future all depends on you;
who lies on the other side of my world.

I'm walking upon this lighted bridge with frost nipping at my heels and a sunken heart during this winter solstice.
I'm hidden in the shadows with a dark coat wrapped around me like skin.
Only here on this bridge do I feel so light- so free;
As if I can so easily be swallowed by the evening sky...
if only I could stay awake long enough in this timeless lane.
To never awaken from this frozen fantasy would be such a lovely thing.

I saw the devil wept tears of sorrow and wondered was that the fiend of my memories.
Tears falling like morning dew leaving a trace upon it's flesh; a wet stain.
My heart forbids me to forget the past even as the memories fade but something  within me wonders if i had judge this wretch incorrectly.
It offered me more than the past scars inflicted.
what it gave me was ah so more priceless... A home
Which I had forgotten till it was taken.
I had suffered till it was offered once again and I live now that its doors have been reopened.

It's seems like centuries ago I dreamt a dream of a boundless spirit.  
Instead of curled upon the ground I sailed in the middle of the deep blue
like a leaf drifting towards the horizon.
I laied in a plane where the sea could reach the heavens
as if I could dive into the embrace of the God I was looking for.
I understood the preacher who dips the sinner into water for
I was not merely buried beneath the waves but emptied into the sea.
In a dream I once dreamt I became as spacious and limitless as the world I lived.