Without realizing it, I became all the things I said I'd never be.
As an 8 year old I sat on my closet floor,  holding my knees to myself, promising that I would never do what they did to someone I loved, or let anyone walk over me as they did.
I made myself promise to be stronger than that. Better.
But look at me now- all of the things I promised I 'd never be, I am; the qualities that I vowed would never take over me, consume me.
I know I'm doing it, that's the sad thing.
so where does it end?
When does the little 8 year old fighter come out of me again, open the closet door, dust her knees off and wipe the tears. Ready to stand up for herself?
I haven't seen that person in 9 years.
Today,  I look at the place I retreated to as my safe haven,
and wonder
why
I ever left there in the first place.