I find this world to be
A moss-covered rock
What once was beauty
Is now something I mock

The trees and oceans are becoming soiled
With the disgusting wastes of our kind
The sun used to shine upon us like a light
Now, a midst the clouds, it's hard to find

Not only is our world polluted
With the garbage that we litter
It's being polluted with
Our angered feelings, so bitter

I hate the pressure we put upon ourselves
The angry feelings we have for one another
Why do we force ourselves to fake our love
When we can't just truly love each other?

That's too much to ask of us, apparently
For we can never truly love
Our feelings are muffled by the angry words
That come from above

It's like asking for a shark to live without water
Or a human to live without air
Oh how cruel this world has become
I don't know how much of this I can bare

Truth is that I can't tell you
The exact way that I feel
The tears would fall endlessly
The scars I have will never heal

Truth is that you can't even handle it
Handle the pain I have in this heart
The way I've been absorbing this pain
Would tear your insides apart

My body still stands strong
Tall as a brick wall
But I feel so hollow inside
Like there's a hole

You see me in a way
That no one else sees me
I can tell you're trying
so hard to see what I see

But to be honest, you can't
Because my eyes only see pain
They see the horrific things
That would make anyone insane

It's a huge world war
Each day in my soul
It's just a matter of time
Before I completely fall

I must fall for the well being of my mind
Fall for the well being of those I hold dear
For if they knew the pain I feel inside
I would be someone that everyone would fear

The world seems so much brighter
When you see the world through my eyes
Every flower has a smile
No one ever leaves and says goodbye

It's like everything's clear
There are hardly any clouds
The sun shines brightly
And there are huge happy crowds

I can't explain how my eyes
Seem to turn **** into gold
It's a gift, I've got to admit
A super power, If I may be so bold

Everyone wonders why I always have a smile
Everyone wonders "Jessie, what makes you so glad"
I tell every one of those people the same thing
"Guys, to tell you the truth, the world ain't that bad."

They can roll their eyes and deny me
They can even disparage my belief
They can never take away my eyes
Not even for a moment that's very brief

They can all look at the **** of this world
They can look at glass and see its half empty
I'd probably look at the same glass
And tell them, "Mmm, that water looks tasty."

Why must the world hate because of my smile?
I just see things in color and not black and white
I'm sure there are more people just like me
And together with these people, happiness is our right

All the pain just pumps through
Every last capillary, artery and vein
Night and day it builds and clots
I can no longer endure this pain

My heart pumps faster and faster
As if I'm doing a serious of sprints
Each pump feels like a drum beat
Each pump makes me wince

Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I fall so hard for another?
Why does my heart plead and beg?
Why does it have to be such a bother?

I can't forget the pain
I can't forget her face
I have a gallery of girls in my mind
Each one with her own personal grace

Each one haunts me every night
They chant and taunt me
"You did everything wrong!"
The tears haze the world I see

I see in total and absolute pain
Each person is like a rose's thorn
A single touch would make me bleed
Oh how I wish I knew why I was born.

Truth, in itself
Is an illusive being
A lie, however
Is easy in seeing

Trust is hard to come by
Distrust is the Norm
How did we get this way?
I won't do you harm.

All those times that I was there
Can't you see my true face?
I tried to show you I was here
Your words stung like Mace

Everyone makes mistakes
Mistakes that we don't mean
This was the case
How obvious could I have been?

The broken heart
That lays dead on the floor
That is your doing
Why'd you kick ME out the door?

As I sit here, watching you sulk
I have an epiphany of my own
I did absolutely nothing wrong
Your self-esteem, you must hone

One cannot blame others
for the pain one may feel
I realize that now
Your lonely fate, you have sealed

The blood drips down
My quivering lips
I stare at my hands
As the blood drips

This sickening thought
plagued my mind
The thought keeps coming
Logic is now asinine

It replays over and over
Like a movie in my head
I can't shake the thought
That she's probably dead

I loomed over her
Like an Angel of Death
I inhaled her scent
With each and every breath

Her incessant bleeding
Soils the sheets
Her heart has stopped
No longer does it beat

The aching inside my heart
All it does is grow
I can't handle it anymore
Even I am a foe

What have I done...
WHAT HAVE I DONE
She keeps on bleeding!
A while ago, this was fun!

HER EYES...
THEY KEEP ON STARING
My mind's keeping me from leaving
My minds state...badly faring

Only...sanctuary
Is this piece of Steel
So cold to the touch
It'll stop this ordeal

Just load it here
**** it there.
Place it right here
Now...I won't see her stare

BOOM!

I wish I could go back in time
And ask you face-to-face
Why you would do this to me
You left without a trace

Did you really think
That I never cared?
Even after all the moments
That we spent and shared?

Was there no emotion
In my "I love you"?
Did you not think
That I was true?

I would have loved you
With all of my heart
I meant everything I said
Every single part

Why didn't you care to listen?
Why didn't you wait for me?
I would've been there in a heartbeat
I could've set you free

I had the key to your blackened heart
For you, I always did try
From the beginning, it was never enough
You never even said "Goodbye"

A single ray of light
Shoots through the blinds
I can see the outline of your face
I can see how your face shines

I can't believe how lucky
I am to be with you
To watch you sleep
And kiss you too!

To think that any guy
Could have you right now
But I have you
And I barely know how

Every day like with you
Is as happy as a birthday
Every hug with you
Makes me ecstatic and gay

Every kiss with you
Is like a taste of perfection
Every date with you
Fills me with infatuation

Every second with you
Feels like forever
I would truly go
With you wherever

I won't be a love sick puppy
But I gotta say, I've fallen for you
I'd love you no matter what
No matter what you do.

The sun shines straight at me
Like a natural spotlight
Why do I have the leading role?
Why must I fight this fight?

I don't remember how I got here
How I became this way
I will never be the way I was
No matter how many times I pray

The eyes on me are heavy
The pressure is hell
I look out at everyone
And already I can tell

Each one of them
Hungry for something good
Each one of them
Hiding in their hood

Why are they embarrassed to show themselves
They have all the power here
I wish I could blend into that crowd
But I can't move because of fear

The crowd is getting restless
The crowd is wanting more
I'm just their puppet
Their puppet of gore.

It creeps up on me
Every second of the day
The darkness in my heart
Never seems to go away

I cry out and tears roll down
But It's like I'm screaming at a wall
I try and climb out of this hole
But I end up falling like a rag doll

I sit here in the pit of my hatred
Watching as my heart slowly die
The darkness is suffocating me
And soon I will have to say "bye"

With each beat of my heart
The darkness corrupts my soul
I don't know what to do
I'm already deep in this hole

All this feelings of hatred
I'm so sick of it
Why can't I just be happy
Can I do it?

The darkness is slowly sinking
Me into it's cold, hateful gaze
Maybe this is the end
So much for the rest of my days

Her smile lights up the room
Her style catches every eye
Her very presence demands you
But it's all just a sick lie

Her purple-green highlights
That streak in her hair
Hide her prominent grays
Like she would care

The stress of her over perfection
Causes her to abuse her body
It makes her crave more
Makes her judgement, shoddy

Why is the journey for perfection?
So self destroying
Why is she doing this to her self?
So annoying

She forces a smile, a smirk
A laugh, a grin, even a wink
She isn't brave enough to reveal it
Reveal that she's at the very brink

She's close to insanity
Her minds slowly dying
Her heart is growing cold
Why am I even trying?

Trying to save this girl
Saving her with all my heart
It sickens me that I care
It tears my insides apart

It's like walking down a winding road
That circles around and around
I can't escape this path
Failure was probably in bound

Yet I can't escape this feeling
This feeling to keep on going
I can't believe that I'm doing this
Her heart is barely even showing

I guess I'm stuck on this path
A path made of gravel and sharp rock
Even though I can see the end clearly
This dead-end journey, I must walk

I long to be in your arms
Even though we are miles apart
I long to feel your lips on mine
To feel the beat of your heart

Each IM, text message or email
Cannot amount to the way I love thee
You must travel into my heart
Deep down there, in order to see

I don't say it as often as I should
But I'll say it as many times now
I love you, I love you, I...love...you
Express my love? I don't know how

All I can give thee are these words
Words that come from my very heart
From word to word, sentence to sentence
Filled with love, each and every part

To express my love for thee
Time would not have enough hours
If I could rule the world
The world would just be ours

To say "My love knows no bounds"
Would just be cliche
But you know what?
I'll say it anyway

The seconds turn to minutes
Then the hours to days, then years
I could lose everything else in the world
Because to me, you're most dear

Its very eyes demand existence
Its complexion is as dark as night
Its mouth oozes with uncertainty
Its presence demands fright

One cannot just stare into its eyes
without losing oneself in the dark
Its words beckons the strong
Then eats them like a shark

With this monster
There is no discrimination
With this monster
There is only intimidation

Its trials are absolute hell
Its games are sadistic
Laying obstacle after obstacle
Until someone goes ballistic

This mysterious monster has but one name
Its occupation is this: an abuser
Its a name that strikes fear in all but the brave
Its name is this: the future

We all hide behind our masks
made of our own insecurity
It covers our shame
and depicts our pseudo-purity

My mask hides my hate,
Hides my fear and despair
It protects me from them
and their evil glares

They can't see the tears that roll down
my cheeks down to chin to the ground
They don't see the scars that riddle my face
They don't see my eternal frown

The mask just shows what everyone wants
A smile
How could a small, simple gesture
Be so vile?

It sickens me
The pressure for one to be glad
So trivial
A frown isn't all bad?

So until the world can care less
I'll keep on showing a false smile
So I won't hear their judgments
So I won't have to match their style