Jessie

Jessie Jan 2014

Progress

do you ever listen to
that guitar singing its sweet pain
and feel your chest swell up like an infection
and feel your throat constrict like bad asthma
as you are yet again sorely reminded of
all the things you wish to forget

but you refuse to let a tear escape
because all the progress you have made
will have been for nothing and nothing only
watching the sun rays catch on the city buildings
as you drive drive drive all the way through
wondering why you feel so trapped
when the world feels so big

my favorite song and
I showed you my favorite part
you robbed me of my innocence
and you stole my music and my taste
didn't even have the decency to say sorry
yet you have the audacity to ignore my existence

I'll make sure to drill oil spill worthy holes
into your forehead through rotting skull
to make up for your lacking eye contact
I guess some things never change

Jessie Jan 2014

Gatsby

we smoked our cigarettes
and belted out car duets

never listened to any advice
figured trial and error would suffice

we ate past when we were full
and felt life's strange alluring pull

but we learned it was never enough
to sit back and relax and love

you can't repeat the past, Gatsby
I wish someone would have told me

Jessie Jan 2014

Calloused

Your soul is like your fingers
Such calloused hands
How rough you are
How abrasive you can be
Doesn't measure up
To the toughness of your heart
I admire your resiliency
My only wish is that
You would soften up to me
Know it's okay to get cuts and scratches
And even to show off your scars
Show me your sensitive underbelly
Trust me enough to fall asleep next to me
Like how animals sleep tummy side up
When they feel safe
Shed your hard layers
Feel my gentle interior
Know that it will always be
Okay.

Jessie Jan 2014

"Sensitive" 10w

I'd rather feel everything fully
than be a calloused soul.

Jessie Jan 2014

Watch Me

I wonder if people notice things like,
"That girl's nail polish is dark"-
Dark having many different connotations-
Because I sure do notice.

I wonder if people notice things like:
-The way somebody walks
-How they hold a pen to a piece of paper
-The way their hair curls around their ears
-How they move their lips to speak
-What they wear and why they wear it
Because there has to be a reason
There has to be a reason for everything

I wonder if people study me the way I study them.

I can assure you,
Everything I do
Say
Think
Feel
Wear
Represent
I do it for a reason
I do it for a statement
Even though I'm not sure what kind of statement it is just yet.

Keep watching to find out.
Stay tuned.

Jessie Jan 2014

Insomnia

My head is hazy with darkened daisies;
There's demons in my room

To myself I lied about all that's inside;
Everything happened too soon

I swear to god I saw faces that nod-
I heard voices in my head

They warned me of lies and trampled butterflies,
But their word to me is dead

The walls are all liquid and my bed is infested-
I do this to myself you know

Seeming to be quite close to becoming full on ghost;
You might as well let me go

Jessie Jan 2014

Star Hands

When tracing stars
In the palm of my hands
I wondered about the galaxies
That envelop us so serenely
And thought about the revolving planets
That are always in the right place
I wonder where me and my stellar palms
Fit in between all of these universes.