This time of year
I can never differentiate
between cold puffs of air
and smoke-filled exhales.

Then again, why does it matter.
Either way, my lungs are still
expanding and collapsing.
At least I am still breathing.

I would rather sit on the fence
than stand knee-deep in the mud.

Today I just about sat and smoked myself to cancer.

You're still in my body.
But not in the way I used to crave.
And maybe sometimes, if I admit it to myself, still do.
The detoxification process is a slow, torturous road.

I still watch your expressions.
The many faces of you.
Maybe I read them all wrong.

It's not my fault
I fell in love with a parasite.

You can't be friends
with someone you
used to
****

I lie and tell myself that you were nothing special

You don't get it
You're never going to get it
Oh yeah of course not
You don't get what it's like to have a relationship with a dad
I had a relationship with a dad
Yeah, had
I appreciate you but you aren't my dad
Shut it, stop talking
It's okay I have other daughters
So go and live your separate life
Sounds good to me
Sounds good to me too
You need to learn
You'll never learn
I'm sure she really appreciates that
Maybe the other dad can give her money
I'm not intoxicated yet
What a great mindset
Keep ****** analyzing everything Jessie
Come over here and we can continue our conversation
I'm going to go wait outside
Yeah that's right, go