I've made it worse for everyone,
but mostly just myself.
The un-needed stress that I have done
it isn't good for my health.

I grasp for some certainty
growing more desperate by the minute
I wonder why, for the life of me,
it ever felt like I wasn't in it.

I am here now, love
I am ready to prove
my love for you is enough
I know it's the right move

I never meant to make you unsure
maybe timing just isn't my thing.
Promise to always forgive me, lover,
whenever I test your dear being.

If you were here beside me now
you would see how much I tremble
to know I ******* things up somehow,
worried sick that things could crumble.

Blame it on my sick need
to hear your voice all the time
I know I'm a mess indeed
but no matter what, you're mine.

I'll pretend that it is just a phase
When I walk by you, I avert my gaze
That part of my life is a blurry haze.

You aren't my home anymore
I found a new body to explore
And I keep my thoughts of you at the door.

My home is my car
even though home was always
where my little girl is

Society exiled me
or did I exile me

My days are limited
but my thoughts are infinite

The stars are my only companions
I wish I could join them
if only I could be a part of
the little dipper that hovers
right above her house
a perfect view

If I can't forgive myself for leaving
maybe she can

The weeks without food consume me
until I forget my name and my past

If I can't come back as a twinkle in the night sky
let me come back as the wind
that she inhales into her body and
exhales out with a sigh
that ripples through her hair and
cools her neck on unbearable days

I hope to God she knows
and I hope to God there is a God

The reason why
we look up to see clouds and not down
is the reason why
a toddler looks up to an older sibling
is the reason why
a dog looks up to its beloved owner
is the reason why
I find hope in clouds. Because

the reason why
clouds always keep moving forwards not backwards
is the reason why
we all should do the same.

You push me away
A child pushing his plate full of veggies
as far from him as he can
yes
there may be carrots in a carrot cake
but it still tastes sweet
I wish
you could accept the fact
that vegetables are good for you
and so too
am I
maybe you could even
learn to like them
maybe you could even
learn to love them

I can feel it bewitch
A scratch and an itch
A tickle and a tease
As if I have to sneeze
Maybe everything we want
Is right under our noses
And we're too vulnerable
To say achoo.

You should know
I am quite aware
Of ALL your longing stares
And it makes me really uneasy.

You should know
To avert your gaze
Stay away from my maze
I don't want you if you're easy.