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Jessica Rojan Sep 2010
This dream is reoccurring,
Not once has it left my subconscious,
Implanted permanently in my brain,
         And the thoughts, they race,
                   My voice can only scream for so long.

Trapped inside my cortex,
I am a prisoner of my own world,
Running endlessly through the rain,
        And my eyes, they can not open,
                  My subliminal messages are too strong.

The words are always so exact,
But the meaning I can never find,
Searchingly hopelessly on this plane,
        And my legs, they grow so tired,
                 My endurance is completely gone.

So confused with my inner being,
What move should I make next?
This ceaseless battle will make me insane,
        And I fear, there is no end,
                 **I cannot compete this long.
Jessica Rojan Sep 2010
It seems so long since you've been gone
Although it hasn't even been a year
I hope your in a better place now,
but I need you so badly down here.

Things are changing so fast for me,
Everything can seem so unclear,
you always had the best advice Gramma,
you always filled my day with cheer.

I wish I could call you on the phone again,
and we could talk all morning long,
How I miss that laugh of yours,
How I miss your song.

I miss when we'd cuddle,
and rock on your comfy chair,
I miss my footy pajamas,
and watching with you, pooh bear.

I miss going to your house,
and running to you with all my might,
But I didn't know how sick you were,
I missed your entire fight.

I miss when you'd sit me down,
and put horrendous ribbons in my hair,
I miss everything about you,
I miss it all, I swear.

Where ever you are right now,
I hope you always knew
that this little girl loved her Gramma
and that this young woman will love her too.

I love you dearest Gramma,
and even though my life must go on,
just know down here we miss you,
I can't accept you being gone.
Jessica Rojan Sep 2010
Of all the things in this world
that I wanted so badly at any moment in time
I want so bad to crush you
To let your veins be exposed to  light
I want to watch your oxygen filled liquids
Pour out from underneath my hands
I want to watch you falling
I want to see your bones crushed into tiny sand
Your soul will bare no witness
Your lungs will breathe no air
I want to watch you struggle
I wish that I could care,
Of all of the things in this world
that I wanted so badly at any moment in time
I want to watch you suffer
I want to see you cry
Jessica Rojan Sep 2010
You came in with the winter
Your voice, it seemed so small
Who knew you would leave me splintered
beaten, battered, taking the fall

You floated across the room
and it was you who I could barely grasp
I wanted so bad to hold you
to put my fingers around you, and clasp

You stared far off in the distance
Never once you even glanced
Across the room you floated
But across my mind, you danced

You eloquently fluttered
Too quick for me to seize
I wanted so bad to touch you
Your presence was like a breeze

Butterfly you have stung me
Butterfly you have left me cold
Lepidoptera, you have gone
Lepidoptera: I could not hold
Jessica Rojan Sep 2010
This is my spirit leaking
       these are my dreams creeping
This is my soul seeking
       these are my bones creaking

This is my mind bending
       these are my words blending
This is my heart vending
        these are my thoughts fending

This is my breath heaving
         these are my fingers weaving
This is my world leaving
         these are my memories grieving

This is my blood rushing
         these are my lungs crushing
This is my luck flushing
          these are my veins gushing
Jessica Rojan Sep 2010
Paint me to whatever you please
stretch me, bend me, twist me
Sculpt me from ear to ear
Wrap your hands around my brain
Smear my mind, **** my body, bare my soul
Elegant lines that all match
from my head, to my waist, to my sole
Jessica Rojan Sep 2010
Open
as if it were the first time to open my eyes
Bounded
by a light that is too bright
Squinting
looking forward from the past
Speaking
"yes, but will this ever last?"
Shaking
so cold that I could see my breath
Walking
like a baby that took its first steps
Dreaming
of better days in places far away
Stories
untold and retold, mirrored and uncontrolled
Branches
crumbling atop the stratosphere,
Drifting
to a place far, far from here
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