Jealousy
A silent rage that flows within me
It stings and burns on the inside
But the outter is not affected.

Jealousy
Is an act of self destruction
Wanting to give up what you
once desired, loved, and cared for
To have something you don't
Actually know you want.

I close my eyes and imagine
Without Jealousy
Without Envy
Wouldn't life be easier?
To just be happy with what I've got.

I'm sorry
That you feel the need to control.
I'm sorry
That I'm not a pushover.
I'm sorry
That you left me behind.
I'm sorry
That you didn't accept me.
I'm sorry
That I'm not sorry at all.

I feel it rising
In the silent room
I feel it escaping my throat
I don't want it to be revealed.
I will stay calm.

I feel it coming
Up my neck and throat.
It's becoming to strong for me
It's clawing its way out.
My mouth slowly opens
And it rushes into the open, empy room.

The scream is only heard
By the disrupted silence
It keeps coming and coming

How do I make it stop.

Show me something simple.
Off you Liar’s Scheme.
Draw me something crazy
From a far off dream.

Sketch me out a melody
Where I can hear the music.
Write me down an angry note.
So I can get up and lose it.

Construct a simple sentence.
Which will make me smile.
Build me a fabulous bridge
For which I’ll walk a mile.

Create a mechanic’s heart
For the small machine.
But only these simple things
Come from a Liar’s Scheme.

Show me a smile.
From your crooked tile.
Show me a grin
That makes me sin.

Show me a laugh
From your chaos graph.
Show me a frown
From the saddest clown.

Show me rain
From the driest shower.
Show me courage
From the man who cowers.

Show me weakness
In your strongest time
Show me you
From your life-long climb.

Give me the sandman’s nighttime sand.
For I need some sleep tonight.
I couldn’t sleep a wink last night,
For I cannot sleep when I stand.

I should have seen it coming,
The scream that was so well hidden.

I looked at you with no emotion
I said no words with confidence.

The glares you recieved;
Did they hurt you?

The laughter that shifted at you;
Did the tears fall?

This is apology is that of which
you don't deserve.

As you wallowed in self pity,
you could have stopped it.

I happened to fall asleep today.
The people then had their way.
I Woke up to screaming.
I woke up to crying.
I looked around and saw some dying.
It’s only because
I happened to fall asleep today.

Why am I not smiling?
Why am I not glad?
Why am I not laughing
At the memories I once had?

I realize I won't be happy
As I'm standing on my own,
I realize my fragile heart,
Is now turning into stone.

Let me cry my tears
Until they dry away
Let me change my colors
Until I turn 'to grey.

Let me scream my screams
'Till they turn 'to songs.
Let me tell my truths
Until they turn into lies.
Let me live my life
Until the Day I Die.