when i want to relax
i clear my mind
white space surrounds my entire being
and i fall into the bright nothingness
spiraling downwards into neverendingness
that leaves me senseless
i pretend i am the wind
and i move the way i'm told
i move to and fro
i move to
i move
i
deep breathing to the point of numbness
to the point at which i float
with the air captured in my lungs
in my mind i am weightless
a balloon
one that will never burst
except with the eruption of peace

There is this tiny hole
In the very center
So tiny and so unnoticeable
Unfeelable
but
There are moments
When instantaneous grief strikes
Me down
down
drowning
And I can't breathe
And it hurts
To the point of
breakage
The mask shatters
With the touch
Of salty liquid
That escapes from my
eyes
I am utterly
Blinded by emotions
Or lack there of
Over things that are
uncontrollable
And that anger
It builds
Because I never knew why
you
left.

I can finally breathe in,
I can consume as much as I like
Without consequence.
There are no chains
Only freedom
And endless sky.
The weight has been lifted
And I can
Fly.
Floating on the clouds
Like a boundless dreamer
And dipping my wings
Into the pure calmness.
The limits always exceed infinity
When I am around.
No one can stop me.
Not you,
or you,
or even you.
And above all the rest I will journey
Until I find one that can spot me,
And join me in my eternal
Heaven.