I have to say
I truly underestimated you
I thought you would bring light rain
And then drift out to sea
But you brought so much more
How naive of me
Things were fine before you
I had my own room
My privacy
My life
And then came October 8th
And you washed away everything that was right
We lost everything
Treasures I had since I was a kid
One month later
I still don't know where my **** diploma is
I miss the peace
I miss my bed
I miss the stuffed animals that I couldn't save
Because they were too ******* wet
I am not home anymore
I lived in that house since I was 3
And those memories got washed away
Along with everything else dear to me
At times, I feel helpless
Consumed by my fears
What am I to say
While comforting my mom while she is in tears
My dogs don't know what's going on
They just know that things are not okay
All I can do is hold them
Because they don't understand
You took my childhood home
You took sanity
You stole every Saturday night when
We would watch ghost stories as a family
You took hearing the dogs bark
When dad got home from me
I am now terrified of the rain because
You took all sense of normality
I now sleep in an unfamiliar bed
No ghost stories on Saturday night
No barking dogs at the sound of dad's truck
All this quiet just doesn't feel right
I miss the sound of the channel 11 news
After mom got home
The same story playing over and over again
I'd give anything to be stuck in that routine
All those things used to seem so insignificant
I miss them more than anything
I guess I have you to thank
For making me appreciate the small things...

I went out for a walk
The other day
9 in the morning
The breeze in the heat felt like grace
Def Leopard in my ears
My mind a million miles away
When I saw a woman
Walking my way
She was taking out the trash and
Something burned in me
This short fragile woman
Shouldn't be out in this hot degree
I said "maam, I can take that for you"
And she offered to pay me
That proposition blew my mind
I laughed and said that's not necessary
She told me about her husband and
How it's been 4 months since he's passed
I said "I'm sorry to hear that"
She said "livin alone's been pretty bad"
She talked about how
He never raised his voice, not even a bit
Every morning before he left for work
He brought her breakfast in bed
They'd been married for 43 years
20 years her elder
She said she wouldn't find a man
Who could treat her any better
In that 30 minute talk
I felt like I lived her life with her
It's amazing the impact people can have
If only we would reach out to help another

Today I found out
That my friend's 1 year old passed away
While he was taking his last breaths
I was complaining about my work day
And I thought to myself
What the **** am I complaining about
I still have life in my body and
Plenty to smile about
While we as people get stuck
In our superficial problems
An innocent spirit has suddenly fallen
We go through life angry and
Spitting hateful words
We get hung up on drama and
The truth becomes blurred
We harbor resentment
Until it finally consumes us
All this is happening while
A child is dying of cancer
And our petty problems
Are we can discuss


Just like cancer....

People also ****

A compromise is NOT a compromise
If I'm the only who's changing

Too many times I let you win

Game over

I'm done playing

Ain't enough whiskey in the world
To get you off my mind
Ain't a harder drug  than a love
That was never really mine

****

I really thought you were mine
Nevermind...

Your skin is begging to be touched
Let me quiet its longing
One kiss at a time

I can still taste your kiss on my lips
The one you gave me before
You reluctantly let go
With your hand on my left cheek
The last place you wanted to be was home
11:58 pm
With the rain sprinkling down
Nothing but clothes between us
Not one care to be found
We laugh in between kisses
Because we both know you have to go
But we're too young and in love
To care if time has an agenda of its own
My hand begs yours not to leave
As you slowly pull away
Our night may have come to an end
But I look forward to seeing you
On Wednesday