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Jessica Crowther Feb 2013
My cruel twisted ways are no longer a haze
I clearly see the meaning behind this lifelong phase
This sick decrepit way of living
Is truly unforgiving

My last chance is always one of many
Thinking about it I’m just like Kenny
He dies in an episode and the next they bring him back
Even though each time he ends up spinning off the right track
They give him that chance to stay alive but for some reason he can’t abide.
When will the point come where they don’t bring back Kenny?
Will it be the point that they finally realize he has had one chance too many?

Awesome now I am comparing myself to a cartoon
I might as well just blast myself off to the moon
There I go again, fast and nowhere to be seen
Cause running away from my problems is what I do best.
This is something I have yet confessed.
Heartless you say, perhaps
After all you have never seen me collapse.
I keep my shield held high and my stubborn ego shining bright
But it is just a pathetic excuse of a facade covering all of that non existing light.

At times I wonder how some people are so blind
Do they truly not see what’s going on in my mind?
Perhaps they are too busy trying to decipher my dissociative identity
But their results will prove to be, absolutely no serenity
Should I tell them to not waste their time?
Nah I’ll just make a game of it I don’t think that’s a crime.
O how much fun I will have watching them try
I guarantee they can’t no matter how hard they pry.
Besides they won’t believe that none of it is actually irony
And that I can find joy out of someone else’s agony

Wait what am I saying?
I need to be saved, I should be praying
All I need is the support
Without that I will just stay at port
People say we are all put on earth for a purpose
After 23 years of searching it has finally surfaced
My life long battle of anger is at twilight
Brought on by an angel who made me look at the light

Dear God
I am a Villain of self-destruction
I am a Victim of Psychology
I can be a Hollywood production
With a genuine apology
I am a walking contradiction
I am weak to say the least
Figuring me out will become an addiction
Please help me release my beast

— The End —