I dreamed of love and it ate me like an ocean.
I dreamed of love and it bit me like a beast.
I dreamed of love and it swallowed me whole like a wound.
I dreamed of love and I dreamed of death.

You are my weakness

i left
i flew into the sky
toward my own demise
toward my obligations
toward my darkness and hell
i left You behind with a promise
that i would return
but i shall return to You
beaten and broken
no flesh, nothing but bruised bones
i am starving
in the absence of Your touch
my chest
has created a dimension
drifting through space and time
full of despair, a void of bitter terror
and i scream endlessly
desperately trying to reawaken the heart that hasn't stirred a beat
no twitch or tremble for days
my blood sits stale and cold in my veins
no life
no breath
i am rotting even as i walk
You are the wraith of my days
a haunting in my head that will not let me smile or sleep
i cannot hide
i am naked and shivering
frightened and frozen
desperate to hold You again, knowing i cannot
no brush of skin, no kiss to comfort me
because Your hands are
so very
far
away

we are merging our lives
together
there is so much to think of:
clothes, belongings, cat,
but my hair is growing longer
so we'd better start talking serious business
like
what time we want to take
our walks together--
before or after dinner?

I dream of the ocean,
the waves crashing at my feet
and the roar of the wilderness inside of me.
I dream of the forest,
my home in the heart of the restless trees
that sing to me and kiss my naked skin.
I dream of the stars,
ancient sentinels staring back at me
to guard me as I sleep
in a layer somewhere between
the cold of space above me and
the cold earth below.
But most
I dream of you coming home to kiss me
and ask me how my day was
as I tousle your hair
and ask what we should do for dinner.

big old God man came talking today
he say he so strong, he so wise,
he keep demons away
but little girl me, I got brains on the cuff,
I chuckle back to me, I know plenty

these demons, they mine,
they world, they know soul
they shadows, they lovers,
they know what I know
my radio heart ain't broken just yet
I need time, I need water,
I don't need none of they God

little night man came whispering today
he got sorrow, he got lonely,
he got ****** on the brain
but little girl me, I got clever on my sleeve
and I shudder back to me, I find what I need

My existence has
become a wish
to lose
myself in the universe,
to breathe
the stars into me,
to escape
this madness;
frightening
circling
breathing darkness into me and
leaving me with
void
.
I cannot let go of my body deep enough,
it pulls me inside
and drowns me in flesh;
my spirit
is crying,
weeping for lost wisdom
.
Wish
to spin endlessly
ceaselessly
with the mother and
the father
to be the self that is
to know
to be
.
It is out there,
remembering
calling
waking
tasteless
fearless
hopeless, knowing
.
Desire
to know no
night, no
day, no
warmth, no
breath,
only to permeate and love,
to sleep without fault
and move with the rhythm
that is us all
.

little race,
Big Universe.

i stand on tiny asphalt mountain
staring at the Final Frontier
wondering who is staring back
at me, afraid to wonder if there
could be no one at all but
the old photographs of stars stuck
into our eyes from a vast number of
years ago.
It seems a distant truth-- the lack of
solitude,
the unknowable brethren,
the boundless eternal that envelopes
and haunts our minuscule rock--
that we are isolated
yet hardly alone,
though so restricted and
vainglorious.
we conquered Nature
with our concrete, our steel
and our bone,
only to turn to the
outward abyss
and wonder

why
?