Either you give me a reason to stay
or I’ll use my reasons to leave
always reckless with my heart
oh with all these knives you play
they leave stains on my back and sleeve
I know I can be rash and dramatic
dearest I’m the best of a lady
light within, but darkness abounds
I’ve seen too many things not to be
I’m sad all of the time you’re around.

I have recently discovered how immortal Heaven is,
For even rocks on this Earth will have their end.
To spend an eternity in the empyrean seems a gift,
But it is a strange thing which to commit.
When I think of you, sleeping silent in your bed,
And I remember to pity the living, not the dead,
I love you more for knowing this too shall end,
For familiarity is a comfort granted and lent.
The most beautiful thing in this mortal world
Is the contrast of a death peaceful and a life fulfilled.
Every single thing has to conclude for one to move on,
And that is the pulchritude of this and all eons.
While Kings and plebeians alike are all laid to rest
In gilt catacombs, graves, or old moldy chests,
Just as spring’s pure youth bends to autumn’s aging,
Ein, zwei, drei, und wieder beginnen.

we are human
we are fatally flawed
so come to terms with death
and make peace with god

Remember when we were crying children
And our parents kissed us where it hurt?
But where do you kiss when your soul aches
With all your darkness trying to burst?
You pray and pray to holy God
Trying to push spiritual splinters out
Then feel better for a good while
But always worrying for the next bout.

How nice it must be to have a God
Who is constantly understanding.
Because too often I feel abandoned,
Unsure if on land I am standing.

a Catholic priest told me to write
he said it was all in my head.
so I was given half a Xanex
and I drifted off in bed.
religion tells me I’m being haunted,
science swears it’s brain chemistry,
so I take my pills with holy water
to combat both, differently.
this is madness
THIS- is sadness
dreading the daybreak
dreading in the night when I wake.
a Catholic priest asked if I loved myself
with watery eyes I said no.
and I’m told to forget my past
but it’s hard when you know what I know.
my mind hurts constantly
it never has been quiet.
I’m told it will get better
but I’m not sure I buy it...
because it’s hard to tell
when you’re going through Hell
that Heaven persists
on the horizon where it exists.

There is goodness here, in the light of autumn,
But the denizens come to play at night.
Please keep watch over my tender soul,
For I’m guarding it with all my might.
People can seem a little too naïve,
For the world is not made of flowers.
Starting out is easy, but staying on is hard,
With only a promise of Heavenly towers.