Heart beating, brain waves erratic
Depending on another to prove you can be loved
Over think like a new theorem
Numbers & symbols & calculations in your head
Try to look back through all the little details you missed
Are you kidding yourself?
Seeking for honesty
Hoping it’s in your favor
Everything seems fine
When you are together
Search for a sign, an inkling
Why do I try to reach out?
Stretching so far just to feel you energy
It’s so strong
Your lips, administer the strongest of narcotics
Paralyzed with your being
When we part, temporarily of course
My vitals change
And my heart & head battle
For reassurance
You make me delusional
The scent of you more powerful than a magnetic field
As you caress my body, stroke my face
I am no longer on this planet
I float with the spirits above
And sadly it cannot be bought
Release me from this paranoia
This addiction
Why so strongly do I fall into your force field?
Is my pull less intense?
Or is it that others just possess an energy more appealing?
You are nothing to be fooled around with
A different kind of beauty not in my realm
But in a parallel
To bring you into my circle would be an extra force in itself
But the lights around you shine so bright
That I’d gladly take the fall
Use my inner being to fight for you
But when it comes back to calculations and figures
One tight hold directly on another cannot compete with various forces in multiple directions
Even superheroes only deal with one villain an episode
Release me from this intangible pull
Because my revolving fire burns too bright
for this ill-distributed chemical bonding

I have to stop looking at your pictures
And staring at your crooked smile.
Remember to forget your number
And lashes that went on for miles.
Your shy look, when you wanted a little more
Undressed, and took my body on a tour.
Guess the long drive was just too much for you
The last kiss I gave, must have given you the flu.

You whisper my name like you want me
But when I turn you walk away.
Tightening the cuffs on my wrists
******* and left at the bay.
Mouth taped shut
But yet I try to beckon your eyes
At first you seemed a cub
Now a grizzly in disguise
If only I could stand up
&breathe; once on my own
Just to call a valiant savior
Why’d you answer the phone?

I heard the train moan tonight,
I usually miss it.
The lights, and rings
And electrical connections blind me
From the outside noise.
Such technology,
I am now amused that I heard the train moan tonight.

Stumble in. closely holding at the waist & neck
Lips on neck, under chin, down neck, visible masculine clavicle
Warm, moist. hot
Forcefully Swing  door
Fiercely Kick off shoes
Try to control inhaling so deeply
Rustling of clothes and hands. Buttons. Fingers so delicate. &rough;
Hands everywhere.
Touch. Feel.
Neck. Hips. Tongue. Back. Neck. open mouth. neck
Head back. Fingers stroke, down spine
Finger tips
Fingers trace
Up. and down. And down. and in
So smooth, yet so deep
Animals of passion
Thoughts. with emotion
Love?
Or another character
--**** in body, naked in spirit
Not alone now are you?
..are you?
Mirrored emotions..
Not for him
And you
Naked
Skin touching, yet miles away
Empty eyes; Empty heart
Alone inside oneself
Watching the movie of another’s life
Always beautiful. Often perfect
Grab what’s yours left on the floor
Satisfied?

Curtains closed,
drawstrings tightened
an obtuse mask
the exoskeleton to the soft, vulnerable viscera
crack it off
bit by bit
a fresh truth pours
like a waterfall of secrecy
deep in the jungles
toil & strain
to unveil the little flower
trapped in the onyx-tomb

He’s right there, sitting on the beach
Muscular and sandy just within your reach
His protective arm surrounds you,
Your heart skips a beat
Walk the length of the shore, imprints beneath your feet
Finger tips touch, like a puzzle they interlock
He runs ahead to find a heart-shaped little rock
Jumping in the waves, the foam hits your nose
He holds your waist closely, kiss on tippy toes
Lids crack open, out stretched arm to feel the bed
Alone without your soldier, taunted by fantasies in your head

Naked bodies thrown upon the screen like naughty magic
Similar set up every time
Flesh, and curves, and limbs
Never a face
A true human-being
This repetitive action, back and forth
Splashed across the free connections throughout the world
To excite lonesome folk
Who wish this wasn’t a table of one
Embarrassing, filthy habit
Just one more click till the quick eruption
Of meaningless stimulation leaves you empty in all anatomical cavities

pollen floating without a flower.
child in the street without a mother.
stray dog without a collar.
the pea rolled off the plate.
the unmatched sock in the drawer.
the lone hair follicle on the brow .
the last leaf on the tree.
me

Green & yellow splatters
On a white canvas
A shape never seen before
A splash, perhaps
Green grabs yellow
Quick run through the woods
Twirl and fly through the unadulterated purity
Movements so quick and fearless; yellow falls
Onto green.
So close, instinct takes over
Rolling through the flora
Never has this enjoyment come to fruition
A game leading to passion
As lime stands up
And adjusts his collar,
Back to the tan canvas.

Melting to my seat
Staring at a screen
Brain cells exploding in misery
Prefer to set this building of articles on fire
Are actual paperbacks even read?
Obsolete weapon in the war of cyber knowledge
Forced to memorize words,
Lines of straight and curved little designs
That are supposedly the key
To intellectual increase.
So, please gently place the grenade
Upon my head,
As to not alter their silence.

When the plane’s ready for lift off
I hope you are too
You bought the ticket on your own
& ran to the terminal gate
Left in a crowd, all alone
Quick paced, all a blur
Being pushed by either side
You left your scarf
The scarf I gave you
And when the plane crashes & burns
Don’t expect me
to take the time out of my day
to even wonder,
If you were on board

Star.
Star.
Twinkle in my eye.
Run. Skip. jump.
Little firefly
Watching the clouds
Wind through your hair
Toes in the grass
Balloon in the air
Water spraying on the face,
Hide and seek, the little space.
Bouncing up
And falling down.
Plastic food on the ground.
Silly songs,
Puppet shows,
Messy hair, button nose.
Big bright innocent eyes,
Slip in shoes 3 times your size.
Looking through the rear view mirror,
Naïve young hearts see it clearer.

The Crowd’s all laughing
Wrapped around the bar
Smiling big, throwing heads back
Like it’s their first drink.
One more shot-
C’mon, someone will cover you.
Drive away, glistening eyes.
Smirks to the night sky
Spin me round, till I forget my name.
Thursday night,
I’d like to dedicate you to the freezing cold
And your amicable stars.

They bless the rings
Then say “kiss the bride.”
Smile out of the church,
With sun beams filtered.
Trusting your hand
To a stranger in shiny shoes
And neatly combed hair.
Heart thrown to the wolves,
In return for weightless,
Messy-haired affection.

A cookie before dinner
Is what you are to me
Chocolate on a diet
I fiend for what I see
From a distance
I enjoy the figure
A new Ken doll
But a little bigger
A young puppy
Already equipped with tricks
a fresh vaccine
anticipate its ******
Come a little closer
I won’t bite
Just a stranger really
A true woman’s delight

Floating object, held down by a string
Slips through a little lads grip
Bright, red through the sky
Only one tiny, concerned set of eyes follows
Through the chilled, windy air
Past the leaves and branches
Exchange of greetings, but continues on its way
The clouds surround, and hug the lone satellite
Shiny, eager to continue the ascension
Above this universe, looking down seeing only blue & green
Propelling through the stars; waving at each ray of light
New mass of bumpy white, quiet and inviting
The men in helmets kick away the scarlet traveler
Their flag is all that remains.

Man made of glass
Transparent to the naked eye
Commonly walks the town
Smiles upon the sunrise
And beauty of the safe place he calls home
Safe because he keeps all evil at bay
Grabbing the bumper of young drivers' vehicles
Preventing a spin out that would ultimately result in fatality
Watching the restless children who run into dangerous ravines
His existence is the sole reason for this town’s livelihood
His heroics go unnoticed
But he does not save for gold & praise
Unselfish in his deeds
He only longs for one
Another soul be it metal, wooden, or even human
To share in his humble existence
Running through the parks at night
Searching for another to see him
To notice him
See who he truly is
To absorb his rays of bliss
A widespread fire in the western village
Torments the secure town
Like a tiger pounces on prey
Glass runs through the scene
Up the fiery staircase he hoists a young man
Repetitively storms into the swirling building
Not thinking of his own truth
Spectators relieved lives are spared
When one stares into his eyes
Into him
With a tear falling
She points to the roof
Overwhelmed with stimulation and thrill
he sprints once again through hell
Climbing the ladders
Darting all hurdles
the appendages begin to lose shape
Dripping like candle wax
The center of the sun is no match
A final pool of liquid
Is all the succeeds
This gallant spirit

A walking contradiction
The cover doesn’t match the appendix nor the preface
But why stick to just what the connections of our neurons tell us?
We are smarter in this decade
To be more than,
More than a robot.
Left, left, spin
Down the street, flat feet
These Blinking lights, are just my eyes
Stomp and stare, no need for hair
Bang on this tin chest
An empty casing to infest
Take the grenade & pull the pin
Oh what a blessed thing!

The party had been over for a month
And the balloons remained.
Lifeless, lying on the floor;
Half filled,
And half as bright as they once were.
As she cut each, old balloon
Covered in dust and crumbs,
She felt her Mother’s breath leave each rubber covering
As she pricked the latex with an overused, dull scissor.
The air did not escape quickly,
As the original material was stretched out,
But long and labored was each balloon’s
Last exhale.

Every picture found
Every memory had
Every smile that was seen,
Has melted into dishonest wax.
Every tear;
Is one of those
Pictures, or memories, or smiles,
Burning down and melding
Into something,
Unrecognizable
To the candle lover.
When all the tears
Stop,
The past will vanish.
And all that will remain,
Is a mis-constructed wax figure,
That no longer recognizes
His face nor his footprint.

The love cantor sings in streets and bars.
She sends her voice to foreign stars.
And when a couple falls in love,
Her heart strings get a little tug.
For she sings of affection and bliss,
Her only prayer is for a kiss.
One of truth, forever a hand,
She searches for love in such a man.

Golden face.
Smarter than she knows.
Change my mood quicker, than the wind blows.
Smile could move mountains,
Eyes could change your mind,
Listens intently, with emotions blind.
Everyone thinks she’s top of the world,
with insecuries of a young girl.
Demands your attention,
Changes the looks of the crowd
Funny. Cute. Silly. Loud
Headstrong in her convictions,
Lazy as can be,
Attitude like no other,
Soul, deep as the sea.
Fresh deck cracked open,
Must be an ace,
A diamond amidst the gravel
Golden face.

Walking to the door
You don’t even look back
Or seem to have an unsure bone in your body
My arms grip your waist
As to pull you back into the fantasy we once had
The smiles, the sunshine,
The eye kisses, the interlocked appendages
Our hands were Siamese twins
Then snap of the fingers
The hypnotist was through with you
Middle of the night
I wake to legs not wrapped in another’s
Pillow without a head
Yet an indent lies
Where the head should be

Dart through the forest hair
Pursue till lungs give out
Sun stabbing through the unidentical branches
Clothes following an elated body’s lead
Green smells of warm air encircle
Unfamiliar perfection
Glowing back, resonating sun-light
A ricocheted laser to the brow
Legs slow to allow the brain to combine facts to form ideas
An individual matching in appearance becomes apparent
A lift of the right arm causes a lift of their left
Forward movements, an outstretched extremity receives tangible results
Reflecting wall surrounds the terrain for all that is visible

Couldn’t he see the ring?
As the town sleeps
I am the fallen angel
Unguarded but now I feel the pain
His Perfect smile
Makes another man cry
Guilt, heavy and thick as molasses
To get out of this once bright cave
May take the crane of god
In retrospect my seed is what I should have watched
Blocked it from the demons & gave it rain
Now in disdain, I am the tears on her pillow
her grip on his shirt
why did We discount the ring?

Sleeping on the floor
Same clothes on.
Night before,
How many juices of the gods did you imbibe?
Still feeling its heroic effects.
Night filled with swirling, incomplete memories
Shared by your soldiers at your side.
Some may say we fight too hard,
And too often.
We say we fight because we are obligated,
And, to guard our youth
For one more week.

This doesn’t mean anything
The words aren’t for you to understand
Or smile. Or enjoy
It’s for me
I
Selfish words
Spilling
Because I cant fully spill my heart
Typing so it’s even less personal
Than the greats before me
In ***** sneakers next to Emily
Oh and those old guys sipping tea
Porcelain saucers, and lace
Clash with a hoodie and hidden liquor
Nothing to talk about
Because they are real
And I’m just a poser
I need to be forced into submission
To leave the lazy route
But the words typed flow
Trickle down like a spring in the spring
how repetitive
Eloquent?- I think not
Skills- lacking
But no one is criticizing or critiquing
Just me- alone in a cubby
Hey Emily, wanna come over?
I got an empty seat and a pen with your name
Or would you rather just type?

Young love, young love,
Pure and true;
Through the fights and the tears.
What happened to you?
Us against the world
Without a care;
Simple thoughts, little money,
But everything we shared.
You held me so tightly when I felt alone,
Stayed up all night as we whispered on the phone.
Fingers intertwined as we walked through the park,
Smile on my face and you were the spark.
Then Thursday came and my smile ran away,
Eyes filled with tears but nothing to say.
Broken heart, broken in two,
Shattered, but where is the glue?
My knight turned to a dragon in the blink of an eye,
I want to yell and scream but all I can do is cry.
I need to be held tightly with fingers intertwined,
Hate him with all my being, but why is he on my mind?

Sitting at her desk
The quill to the paper.
She wrote viscously,
As she was urged.
Drip,
Of blood fell from her nostril.
Every once in while
A high pitched shrill
Could be heard from the hall.
A small area of the window pane
Was not covered by drape.
Peering out, a porcelain girl
Was there.
Dancing.
In the sun, as if she was the leader
Of the orchestra.
Writing as she bled,
She glared through the minute hole,
Mesmerized by the movement.
--Freedom of body.
The blood poured now,
Like a stream.
Wiping it on her dark sleeve,
She continued;
Blurry-eyed now.
As the dancer leaped to her partner,
The pen-slave collapsed on the pad.
Her quill continued by her spirit,
and captured each detail of the dance.

I’m running now as fast as I can
Can’t see anyone in view
The scope I can see is within a few feet
I’m choking and turning blue
Others are yelling but I cannot hear them
Is this world real or wax?
Out of control, spinning; no parachute
My disposition, no longer so lax
This free bird’s wings must be clipped soon
For she is not authorized to fly
Hitting every branch on the way down
Maturity, her next coat to try

Bright lights
Red. White.
Red. White
Sirens
Screaming
Red. White.
Anxious. Breathless
Silent-explosion in ones eye
Whirling around your head
Desperate
Tears stream down. Throat closes.
Laying on the ground
Obscure position
Eye lids flicker
Shards of glass and debris
Dirt, modern rubble
Why was I chosen?
Life given, life taken away
Here just for a moment
Particles dispersed into thin air
Into the trees, and the sky, and the innocent
Into the eyes that have no voice, no say
Chosen to be executed by the power above
Because energy is neither created, nor destroyed
Static tv set, flashes a message
Float away, return to the clouds
This recycling is necessary
The lottery, unfair yet supposedly unbiased
Why are one’s tears more valuable than another’s?
Fight the atmosphere
Grip the opponent’s sword
Mightier than steel
Eye lids flicker
Violent ****
Glazed over from the eternal war
Black night victory
Fatigued beyond belief
The little soldiers will surely carry me to their fort with chants
Another day, I shall return
Until then, my chest plate remains
worn yet intact

Given everything
Since her first day in the womb,
She never had to work for anything.
Beauty, brains.
When she performed,
Folks gathered
Regardless of the venue.
One day she lost control,
And that’s when she realized she had nothing.
Worked for nothing.
Presented with gifts of gold, and silver,
She barely wrote her fans a simple card in return.
Motivation,
A fleeting word,
Retired from her vocabulary.
I hope she finds it again,
Because I quite fancy her.

Smoke and smeared colors
Aloof with glazed eyes
Indulge without alarm
Flames of different size
Drips on the counter
Liquid on the floor
Various colors in containers
Struggle to get more
Memories don’t exist
Thoughts are never deep
Brain self-contaminated
Nights you’ll never keep
Stumble up a staircase
Head pushed against the wall
Spinning in a parallel dimension
With stones to catch your fall

Driving down the road
Leaves never looked better
Smile in my eyes,
As the windshield got wetter.
New England in fall
Backdrop of a movie scene
Precise brush stroke,
Laboratory selected gene.
Widespread area of colors in view,
Crimson and gold off set the sky of blue.

Do you see me in the hallway
Do you care if I’m even there
Tear drop falling on my suitcase
Hair blown out of place
Where I’m going, is unsure for now
Recklessly fleeing the scene
It’s not safe here anymore
Not for my heart
From jeweled crowns to ***** sheets
I’ll make due, because I’m brand new
No one knows me here
A  buggy ride across town
And I turned a new page
Actually put together a new book
And sealed the bindings
The sequence of events doesn’t match up
But who pays attention anyway
I have no past
No old friends to recount the broken glass
And blood on the floor
I’m a guardian angel for all they know
I’m the victim really
It was not that bad what I did
Not that bad at all
I had to
To get away
The evidence is in the river
And I no longer sit on its banks
And wish life would be different
My new book has clean pages
mostly
Why does this crimson stain never wash away
I’m too meek and innocent to be seen through their spectacles of judgment
This pub will surely welcome me with a smile
Now to the sink to fully wash away the past and the evidence

Invincible-young,
Running through the pages
Like the book will never end.
Muscles never sore,
Chest never tight,
With breathless, lightheadedness.
Free like a beast from his cage,
On a warm spring day,
For the first time in a decade.
Sprinting till the crowd is in sight,
Embraced and lifted on their shoulders,
Welcomed to the next stage,
Grown, we now must be.

I don’t know what it meant then,
And I don’t know what it means now,
But in that moment,
He wanted to kiss me;
And I did not oppose.