A slave to the snowfall of my ever-freezing heart
The wide-awake demons of my past are never far
Questions are raised, but here there's no truth
Searching for more than silence but it's no use
Late in the hours of the early morning we'll find
Stories just the same, fast-forward then rewind
Slow motion, slowly falling, quivering in the breeze
Sliding into the daily grind with shaking, shivering knees
Standing up for something, when you feel nothing at all
Smiling for your future, you've never felt so small.
Darkness fades, nothing's better, wishing life was over
Waking up at midnight and hiding under the covers
Fear comes from the unknown, but things we know can be
Just as scary as our black-and-white version of reality.

When I met you for the very first time,
I started falling in love with you, little by little...
And this feeling grew inside me like a gem
Like a bright red ruby, maybe
And every day I would polish it and admire its shine, its sparkle.
I kept it close to me wherever I went
Only setting it down when I needed to sleep.
The feeling grew on me, and
each morning when I picked it up,
I noticed that the ruby
was just a little bit heavier.
After awhile it got so heavy that
I had to leave it in my room
safely resting under my pillow
when I would go out.
But I hated to be away from it.
After a long day I would just curl up with it, shining my lamp on it and gazing at its intricacies, its beauty
But slowly, over time, I grew bored with it
and sometimes I would leave it in a drawer
so I wouldn't have to worry about it
and one time, when I opened the drawer,
it had started collecting dust.
And I thought, maybe it's better this way.
I was wasting away my life obsessing over it, over you,
and maybe it could just stay dusty for
awhile longer.
And then, one night, you stole into my room
and blew the dust off
so that when I saw it in the morning,
it was bright and glimmering again
and I remembered why I had spent so many hours
caring for it, shining it, just gazing,
simply gazing.

I know you love her and she loves you
and she’s all you can think about
even when you’re with me.
But I can’t stay away from you.
You’re all I’ve ever wanted,
you’re sarcastic and arrogant and adorable and intelligent
and you’re skinny and your hair is curly and your eyes…
they’re like the ******* ocean after a storm
all green and blue and swirly
they glow and I can’t help myself from gazing into them
whenever I’m with you.
And it hurts so much
to be in love, infatuated, whatever you want to call it
I feel so happy when I’m with you,
and melancholy when you’re gone
when you’re with her
when you’re thinking about her
when you’re planning your future with her.
and I think you and I would be perfect together
so perfect.
People tell me you like me,
people say you try to push me away because your feelings scare you
because you’ve put three years of love into this relationship
with her
but you only see her four weeks a year
and you see me every day
and I get you
I put up with you, and I love it,
even when you’re being wonderfully difficult and annoying
because I think I love every single thing about you
and all I know is that I want to be with you
I want to call you mine and I want to be yours
I want to be in your arms and play with your hair
I want to listen to your secrets and tell you about my dreams
I want to laugh with you and cry with you
I want to sing and dance and make music with you
and I want you,
all of you,
every day.

Sometimes I gaze straight into the sun.
I can’t help it.
When it’s setting over the mountains or the sea
and the rays are dancing off the air
I have to turn and look
and sometimes I look longer than I should
but it holds me, it holds my eyes and I can’t turn away.

Sometimes I fall in love.
I can’t help it.
When he comes to meet me at the rock at sunset
and he looks right at me with that look
I have to look back at him
and sometimes I look longer than I should
but he holds me, he holds my heart and I can’t run away.

Walking by the sea at midnight,
the waves are crashing up a storm.
I take your hand and we step out.
The surface of the water is cool
and it swells as we walk atop the breaks,
following the waves back to the distant
horizon filled with bone-white stars.
Sharp melodies of wintry winds blow,
make our faces bright with cold as we go
above the seas, below the spangled skies,
together, side by side, just you and me.

We never turn or look back to see
the distant sandy shores where it began
with the seasons of summer and autumn,
the friendship on fire that sparked within
but we walk on, dancing along the top
of the gently stirring ocean’s brim.
The storm is long gone, the water settles
into a murky grey-blue but mostly green
brilliant, sparkling deep color that just
perfectly matches the shade of your eyes
why can’t I stop thinking about your eyes?
I walk with you for hours until we’re lost
in the sea together and the clouds begin
to light up and the cold of the night fades.
The sun shatters the stillness with its loud
triumphant rays for us, just you and me.

In the misty new light of day we see
a small wooden boat floating up ahead.
We climb in, find paddles, and begin to row
and row and row and never tire
until we hear a sound, faint at first
then rushing and rushing, faster and louder
and as the fog clears we see a waterfall
sky-blue and streaming, tall enough to ****.
You turn around and set down your paddles
and take my face in your hands and then
you kiss me and nothing else matters and
no one can see us and it’s strange and new
and thoughts are storming through my mind
but I push them away and give you
my heart, my word, my everything, and
you pull back and give me that smile
the smile I love, more than anything.
When we’re at the edge, for one eternal moment,
it’s just your eyes and mine; just you and me.