I wish you could feel the weightless intensity of my words, because the gravity of honest intentions only drown you in hurt . My love for you baby is timeless and pure, though ironically thru faults of my own the retardent I add only complicates things as your heart grows hard this cannot be cured. I love you more than you could ever now, far more than I have the ability to show. This doesn't help nor make things easier, I just can't hide my feelings anymore. I'm done being a people pleaser. Though my mind may have strayed, my body and my heart next to yours is the only place my head has laid. That scares the hell out of me, in a world where I already feel forgotten. The seed we planted was well on its way to blossom, but this elephant in the room, ****** on it overtime bandaids couldn't stop it from rotting. I could care less about others or ****** advances, as it was about a lost excitement in my heart. Just the idea of possibilities more than our relationship being stable as long as I keep up my responsibilities. I know your lucky to have someone who gets you and still wants you. But this feeling of good enough makes our life of comprises look empty and rough. We put an expiration date on what we wanted to be love. But all that got us was sterility, a routine check up with a cold unfamiliar glove. I don't know what the right thing is to say most of the time anymore. I wanted to drown in your love but not feel your rain. I had previously tried to test the waters in asking questions trying to find resolve just left me wading through unanswered lessons. You want me here and I don't for a second doubt your love. But the source of it I often contemplate if I should just unplug. In many ways we try our best to make it work, but if we're not moving forward standing still for so long my heart starts to hurt. I won't change you or uproot the ways in which your set, but I'm not really myself around you my soul in some sense of neglect. In many things we don't share interest and sometimes that's ok. But a love that last should be more than complaced. I love you with all my heart, but say what you want my eyes can see it's easier for you too when we are apart. Just hard for your heart to accept when it's time to go to bed alone in the dark. You could easily do much better than me, but I fear that better than nothing is why you ignore it all and take the rest of me. You are always there yet some distance away. Somewhere between land or sea and sky you lay. I may move toward you, yet distant you'll stay. Looking for the light that used to be in your eyes is like the horizon that way.

I'm lonely here behind this face, I'm lonely surrounded by memories of yesterday's. I don't want to be sad, but it's really all I know. I don't want to be sad but, for some reason I just hold on unable to move on and can't let go. I always look for answers with none left to be found. I always look for answers, but you can't reach for the sky when your heads always towards the ground. I listen and wait for your voice. Just one more time could my heart race, slow and steady now you wouldn't stay it's time we've run our course. So as I sit here and internally pace, Behind this crookid smile I'm lonely in this place. Looking for tomorrow's, I'm much to sad from yesterday's lonely lost in time and space

A journey long searching to find a light, in the this somewhat bitter world a safe reminder that it will all be alright, to lay my head down never more troubled with wars I can not fight. Looking high and low going to the places that I thought you might go, always searching and needing the closest shred of replacement for your warm comforting glow. I never realized in my search for you, you were with me the entire way, I never want to lose you but I know now you will always be guiding every move I make. I often feel like I'm missing your light a quiet reminder that your on your way,  to blinded to see that your in the stars faithfully bringing me safety at night. Through thick and thin your lessons instilled in me but now I know the same light in your eyes I share to steer for me. I'll always love you intensity never wavers, when I think of you I won't be sad anymore living in your memory, as you head to the savior.

It was the end of May when I first felt summers warmth coming my way.
Green eyes so vivid and full of life, put shame to the stars above the east shore that night.
It was only may, but i was sure summer is here to stay.
With the morning air the weather was still brisk, but that didnt matter as i wrapped ever so tightly to your hips, the smell of coffee still fresh on your lips. Yes summer was here, in the warmth of your smile, in the reflection of me doing my hair in the bathroom mirror. Overwhelmed by the cold ocean water, and your sunlit silhouette on the hot sand made my heart beat harder. Had me wishing there were more than just 7 days in a week. My love for summer was just reaching peak.
My heart would melt, that smoldering **** grin from private conversation tucked away in a booth we sat in. Over a glass of red wine it felt like a celebration, of what im unsure maybe the realization that your heart could be mine for more than a lustrous temptation. Holding your hand as I drove us home. I didn't realize it was the little things that I needed all along. As you fall asleep and I sing along to the radio as it played a relaxing song. A reminder that just like tonight I couldn't stop summer from ending when I got on the flight. Took a picture to savor, and memories that run deep. Our final kiss touching those lips that made me weak. Lost hopelessly in your eyes wondering if that would be the last time we would meet.
And just like that gone with a whisp summer went away and winter froze over the from the cold lonely wind. Real life happened one by one all the leaves fell. Our once colorful story became more of a fairy tale. In hopeless romantisism and probably great denial I waited for summer to come back even if only for a little while. I wait with the stars to see if some will align, or if our tale was a fisherman lost at sea pulled away forever in the oceans tide. Its hard to admit that you may be the best I could ever of had. The standard you set reminds me only of what all others lack. When I feel the sun on my face it tells me your still here. Maybe I'll always wait for summer time to come back more than just once a year.