I wondered why I started ,
How I started,
It used to make my cry when I did it,
But not anymore,
I go deeper and no longer care if my legs scar,
My heart and soul are scared enough yet nobody sees that so maybe I should show the world my mind and mentality,
Yet I hide it from the world,
My parents don't want to believe it so they ignore what they see,
If they don't care why should I?
I want to die,
I have absolutely nothing left to live for anymore,
The cutting is maybe the reason that I am still alive,
It's the only think that keeps me from jumping off the precipice,
And ending my pathetic existence.

Don't know which right choice to make
Wish that everyone would wake
Open their eyes and see life
Not the "Society's" lie

Everything isn't black or white
So how do you judge what is right
Taught to think by the people before us
What's the deal with all the fuss

Where's this thing we call trust
Hidden beneath all the rust
Weathered away like our innocent
Taught that it's just another incident

To walk away from it blindly
Giving it up gladly
In exchange for a mask
That doesn't let you look back

And invisible chains
That bind you to the society

Why am I this way
Why was I made
I'm confused everyday
I should just fade
They say they don't care
Well ******* too
I shouldn't even share
These stories that are true
They all hate me
I guarantee they do
I should just leave to see
What they do and who
I'll just go
They won't even see
I'll just go
So I can be me

Such charm and grace
Such little words
Such elegance interlace
Illusions that never work

Love and lies
One and the same
With luring eyes
Of burning flame

The woven spells
Of star filled wells
Where the forbidden flower dwells
With the sweet music of angel bells
These fairy tales that you tell

Spun from sensual lips
Like sweet nectar to sip
Such clever and wits
To leave one on a clouded bliss

Taking one to the forgotten place
Resting in the between space
Of the night skies and darkening seas
On the whispered winds of lovers pleas

The promise of the soul kiss
The lasting passion of abyss
A glance through the looking glass
In a realm of dream that don't last

Spoken words allured me
Tales cast upon silken thread
Waiting to be set free
From the golden web

She'll stand strong
She won't fall down
Though heaven cries their song
And hell weeps along
Though she wears the tattered gown
And the shattered crown
Her story won't be told
A forgotten history left to grow old
Though her heart will be cold
Her eyes will be dry
She won't cry
She'll learn to fly
Her head held high
She'll move on
In the light of breaking dawn
She's a born survivor
She'll spread her wings of light
And take flight

Nothing stops for life
Even when you dearly need it to
The earth keeps spinning
Yet all I can think of is you

I'm done with ****** up reality
And apparently it's done with me
I keep getting stabbed
And the pain is trapped in me

The numbness is hollow
And hollow prevails
I was told he died for me
With wood and rusty nails

Is this a story
Did he ever exist
The savior I've learned to love
Has fallen to abyss

The blood keeps flowing
Down and over my hand
Why does hurt have a habit
Of being washed up on the sand

You can try to help
But I'm too numb to feel
I've been consumed
I don't know what's real

So I'll paint my nails once more
And hope you forgive me as well
I promise that this nothingness
Will go and burn in hell

A bloom, a little piece of life
A rose so red it hurts your eyes
It grows until it's tall and high
But eventually it withers and dies

Hey
That one word
Those three letters
Can start a lovely friendship
A lifetime full of love
A fierce war
It all depends
On you
On me
It is up to us
This could be hate
This could be love

Love
that one word
Those four letters
It can set you free
It can lie
It can break your heart
It can change the rest of our lives
For the good
For the bad
It's up to us
It's up to you
It's up to me

What if
Those two words
Those six letters
They can change everything
For the good
For the bad
It can change a life
Your life
My life

Just one question
Only you can answer your question
Only I can answer my question

Hey
Sometimes that one word, those three letters can lead too...
Love
Sometimes that one word those four letters can lead to...
What if*
Sometimes those two words, those six letters can lead to...

Any number of things
It's up to you
It's up to me

Your hand brushes upon my skin
The iciness of your touch sent shivers down my spine

Are you unaware of the sin
Slightly pushing over the line
Your hand gently caresses my side
My skin becoming inflamed

Wanting that moment to die
Are you not ashamed
Was our friendship a lie
I lay there motionless
In fear if I move my lips of what may leak

Do you not see you that you make me defenseless
Inside I am screaming
I'm hoping that you would go away
Thinking if I could just wake up from this dream
Everything would be back to its normal way

In the bliss we sang our song
Under the fading sunlight
Against the tree we stood holding hands as words left our lips
Words killed the silence, lyrics spoke our heart out
Strings of the guitar that you plucked with your fingers
Did spread love all around you and I

We walked under the light of the stars
In the Coloradian winters you and I held onto hope
Even when eyes couldn't see what was ahead
A creek or the edge of a cliff on which we walked
It was only trust that let us see the sunshine

If only you are to wait and standby
As I find the courage to say a few words that I have been meaning to say
A heart beats those words as I take a breath looking at your face
But only if you could hear my heart beating
And the silence that surrounds me in the dead of the night

Here let me hold your wrist
And let me kiss your veins
And let me rub my hand along your back
And blow away your strains
Would you like to see the stars tonight?
Instead of ceiling tile?
For rain to kiss your collar bone
Your eyelids and your smile
The universe caught in your eyelashes
Before you go back to bed
To be stolen away for just one night
I promise it's not just in your head
See? You feel my fingertips
You know I'm really there
You really feel the running now
The wind current through your hair
Don't go home to cotton sheets
Stay here forever, feeling my skin
They talk melancholy eternity
Not a world of light like the one we're in
It's real it's real it's real
If you can see and touch and smell
We're far from a heaven you could ever dream up
But we are very far from hell

She's on fire
Flames of desire
A goddess of liars
He's Insane
Burnt to the grave

A web of lies
She'll make you cry
Burning you alive

He's her nightmare
Filled her with fears
Haunts her dreams
When she screams
She's lost in hell

A web of lies
She'll make you cry
Burning you alive

What is happiness
Everybody has an opinion I guess

Is it a good day with someone you love
Is it the flight of a white dove

Is it the laugh of a child
Is it the sight of a tigress in the wild

Is it ice-cream on a hot day
Is it something a sweet lover might say

I think it is peace that you feel inside and out
I think it is love that makes you want to shout

I think it is in your arms, my safe place
I think it is that beautiful smile on your face

When I see you
My mouth goes dry
My palms get sweaty
And I get shy

When I see you
I have to smile
Because being with you
Is worth my while

When I see you
No words can describe
The warm feeling I get
That fills me inside

When I see you
I wonder if you know
That I feel so empty
Whenever you go

When I see you
I think what would be
If you said that
You love me

If I left,
Who would dare follow?
If I asked,
Who would dare answer?

If I spoke,
Who would dare listen?
If I laughed,
Who would dare laugh with me?

If I cried,
Who would dare wipe the tears?
It I died,
Who would dare shed the tears?

If I said "I'm fine"
Who would dare disagree?
If I finally asked for help,
Who would dare be there for me?

I know it wouldn't be you darling,
You don't dare to care.

Conversation
No Sensation
Things I've yet to say
Your words still sting
Just lingering
I hang my head in weak dismay
Thoughts of sorrow
Bar tomorrow
Keep my from the night
I walk the paths back to the past
And they all lead back to the same place

Why do I still call you name
After all this time has passed
Former feelings
Still have meaning
Voids I've yet to fill

There's moving on
It's been and gone
But I can't help but keep standing still
You affection
Stark reflection
Of how things used to be
Gotta bide my time
Gotta keep me mine
Gotta keep myself from thinking
Gotta keep myself from drinking

Worthless
Everyday I fight
But then, I realize that they are right
Everyday an endless strife
To get a somewhat "social life"
All the torment impales my heart
Seems there is nothing to set them apart
I come home crying everyday
I foresee no other way
Have the blade, ready in my hand
I'm ready to depart this land

Got me doing the wrong things
Got me hating and loving life
Got me on my knees begging for mercy
Wanting you to take me once again
Bring me to a whole

With the light to guide me from your eyes
Your smile made the sun rise
Your touch melts the coldness away
You were my lover, my protector
You brought me out of darkness
Gave me hope and a will to survive

The love you gave me made the world alive
You my king and I your queen
Taught me how to love once more
Not knowing the price
I was to be your wife
Our lives and bodies intertwine

Only to wake to find it was a dream
The look in your eyes went from lust to hate
You wounded me in way words can't describe
You left me without uttering a single goodbye

I see you standing there
Acting all innocent
I see you giving me glares
You are full of ****

You said that you loved me back
But that was a lie
Do you know how many times
You've made me cry

With your gorgeous blue eyes shining like the sun
You always told me that I was the one
You always tucked me in at night
And love you know that you're not as bright as you think you are

You broke my heart
Tore it into pieces
You told everything
Even shared your "Secrets"

But that was all a lie
You don't even care
You just wanted accessories
You didn't even care

I gave you every ******* thing
I would have even bought you a ring
But since you tore my ******* heart
We are now split apart
And now you say "Lets go back to the start"
But love I know I've cried
And I know you lied