Jenni: Poems

Jenni Dec 2014

Six
The number of classes we've had together
Five
The number of months until you graduate
Four
The number of times I've tried to say something
Three
The number of times I've really cried over you
Two
The number of weeks until I finally make a move
One*
The number of people who've ever really made me feel this way

Where do I even start?

Jenni May 2014

Where do I even start?

I don't talk much
But man, do I have a lot to say

White Lies

Jenni Jul 2015

White Lies

I lied when I said
That I didn't understand smoking
And when I told my dad
That I probably wouldn't drink much
After I turned 21

I keep a book of matches
Under my pillow
And a bottle of *** behind my bed
There's nothing wrong
With a couple of
White Lies

Who's afraid of the Bogeyman?

Jenni Aug 2014

Who's afraid of the Bogeyman?

I think about the fact
That each of us
Has been spending these nights
Sitting in our respective bedrooms
Fighting back the monsters in our closets
Always forgetting the one under the bed
That strikes just as sleep is about to come
With a swift remembrance
Of how alone each of us feels
And how hollow
I feel like we might make a good team
Like maybe together we could banish the demons
You get the closet, I'll check under the bed
Maybe we might finally get some rest
I'm so tired

Why am I crying?

Jenni Jul 2014

Why am I crying?

I always associated tears
With strong emotions
People cry when they are
Sad
        Frustrated
                            Angry
                                        Happy

But right now I feel nothing
And I think these tears must be confused
Because I'm devoid of strong emotions
I'm just hollow

                                                                                                  …and slightly wet

Why didn't you say goodbye?

Jenni Jun 2014

Why didn't you say goodbye?

I guess maybe
Our friendship
Meant more to me
Than it did to you

I guess maybe
I should be used to that

I didn't know you were leaving till you were already gone.

winter mistake

Jenni Dec 2014

winter mistake

It's fine
I think as the end of the semester draws near
It's fine
I whisper as as I consider the impending time apart
It's fine
I mumble as I get dressed on the last day of class
It's fine
I say to my reflection as I prepare to see you one last time
It's fine
I insist as I approach you and ask to talk
It's fine*
I prepare on my lips, ready to gracefully accept your polite rejection
*It's fine

Wolf Like Me

Jenni Jul 2014

Wolf Like Me

We're like werewolves
In that when the moon rises
It awakens something within us
Something frightening
But comforting
Wild and ungovernable
Yet familiar

You're human in the day
But at night you're just a wolf like me

You Are Stone (Pt. 1)

Jenni Mar 2015

You Are Stone (Pt. 1)

I am not strong
But no one must know
Weakness I must never show
I must be rock
I must be stone
Any time I'm not alone

Is that emotion?
Did you just feel?
Cover up
Conceal
Conceal
Leave no signs
Leave no trace
Stony, vacant, deadpan face

Don't bring a jacket
You feel no cold
You feel nothing
You are stone

You're not afraid or insecure
Save that for when you're alone
Until you shut your bedroom door
You are stone, you are stone

Skin will tear
And hearts will break
And even human bone
I'm not allowed to be that weak
So I must become stone

Strike me
Kick me
Denigrate me
This much I will condone
Despite all your best efforts
You cannot injure stone

Strong I'm not
But I won't tell
I'll never let it show

Someone might misunderstand
And think I'm flesh and bone

They may think I'm a person
But I'm not
*I'm only stone

Young Liars

Jenni Jun 2014

Young Liars

I think the most common lie
Is probably "I'm fine."
Two words
Truth blurred
Hiding the pain inside
Can't help but misguide
Is it for their benefit or yours?
Check the locks at your doors
Ask yourself who holds the key
"Is it them or me?"
When you say "I'm fine."
Who exactly are you trying to blind?

Idk it's like 1am.

You're moving in a few months. I'll miss you more than I'll ever admit.

Jenni Jun 2014

You're moving in a few months. I'll miss you more than I'll ever admit.

I think I'm doing pretty well
At hiding how it hurt
That even though
We haven't been together in months
You made plans with someone else
On the day that was supposed to be mine

We used to be so close
Where did all this distance come from?

You took the words right out of my mouth

Jenni May 2014

You took the words right out of my mouth

I remember all those times
That I opened my mouth
To say something
Whether it be a random observation
A helpful comment
Or a joke
Only to be interrupted
By you
Saying the very words
That were frozen on my tongue

I still wonder if it means anything

You never knew about all the times that we had shared a thought but I had been too slow to relay it.

— The End —