I find myself sitting next to empty spaces
That happen to be about your size
And laying all the way to one side of the bed
So as not to kick you too much in my sleep
Someone took a photo of me the other day
And there was a strange imbalance within it
My figure pressed against the edge of the frame
Smiling absently at the emptiness beside me
I leave room for you wherever I go
I just wanted you to know

When I was little I was afraid of ghosts
Back when they were only misplaced shadows
And creaky floorboards
I was not prepared
For the ghosts made of flesh in blood
That hide in the corners of my mind
Even if I could exorcize you
It would be more like an eviction
I'm as much yours as mine at this point

Maybe we're happier in my daydreams
Than we could ever be in reality

Who am I to ruin that
With the truth

It's fine
I think as the end of the semester draws near
It's fine
I whisper as as I consider the impending time apart
It's fine
I mumble as I get dressed on the last day of class
It's fine
I say to my reflection as I prepare to see you one last time
It's fine
I insist as I approach you and ask to talk
It's fine*
I prepare on my lips, ready to gracefully accept your polite rejection
*It's fine

I always thought that that orange sweatshirt you wear so much
Was like a beacon that would always guide me to you
Until today when I needed to see you the most
And suddenly everyone was wearing orange
And the color started hurting my eyes
And eventually I just drove away into the rain
And everything turned grey
"It's fine," I tell myself
Grey is just as good a color as any

when i entered class this morning
my face was wet from the rain

when i left this afternoon
it was wet with tears

it's what happened in the middle
that i'm a little foggy on