we passed around the joint
each taking a hit
sharing a piece of us
inhaling the chemicals
proven to making coping easier
we passed around the joint
and grew closer
one broken memory at a time
we passed around the joint until the sun rose
and our hearts grew heavy

my pen was always in my fingers
scribbling the latest tear
drawing the newest fascination
creating feelings on paper
I was never good at talking
but writing came easy
each word danced its way onto the paper
each sentence a new adventure
never knowing where I'd end
just knowing I'd get there
pen in hand
paper covered in emotions and experiences

the radio always played it
the stores had it on a loop
even the lowly musician at the cafe
I heard it everywhere
on my way to work
in the city streets
late at night with friends
at home at 2am
everywhere
it haunted me
a simple song
our song

the smoke kissed my lips
filled my lungs
altered my brain
washed away all pain
the smoke kissed my lips
because you never did

beautiful
in the way she walked with so much purpose
beautiful
in the way she glanced at you to see your eyes sparkle
beautiful
in the way her forehead creased when she read
beautiful
in the way she danced around the kitchen early in the morning
beautiful
in the way her hands grasped yours every single day
beautiful
in the way she couldn't keep secrets from her best friend
beautiful
in the way she slept after a hard day
beautiful
in the way her eyes wandered as she daydreamed
beautiful
in the way she cried at sappy romance films
beautiful
in the way her hands grasped a pen and wrote for hours
beautiful
in the way she undressed before bed
beautiful
in the way she loved every ounce of you
beautiful
in every way imaginable

I tried to give you a second chance
to stop saying goodbye
to kiss you once again
to call you mine
to show you off
and love you for longer
but my heart was broken
my eyes were dry
and my soul shattered
second chances are only worth it
if the first chance didn't break you

my glass half empty, my heart half full
the music pounded- shook the walls.
the newly 21 year olds drank everything,
destroying their kidneys one shot at a time.
the older adults trying to relive youth,
having intelligent conversation over drinks they couldn't afford with people they wouldn't know the next morning.
the youngest people peering around,
hoping their phony ID's wouldn't get them caught.
the bartenders, light on their feet although
heavy on their souls.
the obvious recently single girl trying to get any guy to simply
buy her a drink.
the tv's showing friends re-runs.
the smoker outside, crying and coughing,
yet another night.
the husband trying to forget about the fights,
his father, and the imminent divorce ahead.
the alcohol, keeping the peoples thoughts flowing
and the money coming in.
my glass now empty, my heart half full.

The sounds of summer
Laughter echoing off each and every wall
Songs blaring through the speakers
Hollers of teenagers getting a thrill
Cars honking in afternoon traffic
Water filling up the small kiddie pool
Birds chirping at 9:27am
Lovers breathing heavily
The summer breeze brisking through all the trees
Best friends’ whispers in the early morning hours…
Every moment another sound, every sound another memory

The way you stared
Had me hooked
You were an addicted drug I couldn’t get enough of
You were the sip of alcohol that caused me to forget
You were the blade slicing through my skin
You were the sickness to end my healthy streak
You were bad
Addictive
Fatal
Damaging
But that’s what I loved about you
The pain

I returned your sweatshirt
Burnt your notes
Hid your earrings
Poured out your perfume
Gave away your scarf
Deleted your pictures
Gave back your charm
Threw away your pick
And with each action
You
Became a
Memory

symbolize love
symbolize grace
symbolize importance
represent kindness
represent remembrance
represent gentleness...
but this bouquet
symbolized broken hearts
symbolized falling
symbolized irrelevance of me and my feelings
represented hatred
represented memories forgotten
represented harsh words once yelled...
this bouquet
once blooming and beautiful,
now dead and crinkled
scattered on my floor
symbolizing a love
now forgotten

Eat that slice of pizza
drive that car until midnight
jump in that lake
drink that sip of alcohol
wear that outfit for 3 days
don't shower
put on that extra makeup, or wear no makeup at all
sit outside and watch the stars
smell those flowers
enjoy it all while you're young and able
because in the end
we only regret the chances we never took

Everything fell into place
Your chest on mine
Your arms wrapped around mine
Your hips pressed against mine
Your hands grasping onto my back
Pulling me closer
Your lips on mine
Everything fit perfectly
You were my destiny

We kissed as if we had borrowed time
As if one of us was leaving, dying.
As if the world was coming to an end
And we had to kiss before then.
As if time was no longer ours to share.
We kissed as if we didn’t have a forever
And that’s when I knew,
You were no longer mine
~J.G.L.

Sometimes we fall in love with things
How they entertain us
What they’re made of
The extent of their abilities
Sometimes we fall in love with stories
How they make us feel
What the characters endure
The words and the images they convey
Sometimes we fall in love with songs
How the artists puts feelings into music
What messages they’re trying to share with the world
The melodies
Sometimes we fall in love with animals
How they have no responsibility
What they’re capable of
The secrecy they’re silently sworn to
Sometimes we fall in love with places
How the earth could be so breathtaking
What the place holds and protects
The nature and quiet simplicity
Sometimes we fall in love with hobbies
How they create feelings of belonging within us
What they do to our schedules
The way they make us feel worthy
But I fell in love with you
How you spoke
What values you held dearly
The way you were so perfectly imperfect
Why you did the things you did
When you smiled and sang with no cares
Who you were with your friends
Where you loved and where I loved you…
Sometimes I fall in love with you
~J.G.L.