I'll be looking forward to the day you walk away.
To the day I can finally scream in your face.
The night I'll cry myself to sleep..
That should go on for a few long weeks.
Until we reach the 21st week we'd officially not be together.
The morning cries will stop but somehow, however,
your face, your touch, and your tender kiss will be burned into my mind, soul, and body.
Because I love you, and when you leave, I will miss you..
So much it'll practically **** me
to see
your beautiful face in the hallway.
Or your strong warm arms around her; acting as if we never meant anything.
But to me, we were everything.
From what I said before, I'm sure you're a bit confused..
And, baby, I would love to enlighten you..
But I just can't seem to muster the words to say...
Nothing. Because you are not worth my anger or my poetic word.
You aren't worth my tears.
And though losing you I fear,
I refuse to come sprinting after you when your pretty face decides to walk out of my life, forever.
I may love you but there are some things I just can't do.
That I just won't do.
Because you see, I'm hurting.
I'm hurting so bad.
And the only reason I would be glad
to see you leave
is so that this pain will stop taking over me.
These tears, they cut like razor blades and
as they flow they're washing our memories away
so they stain.
These tears, they stain, and for the first time in a very long while
I think I might be going insane because
everytime we fight, I am to blame and
I'm sitting here hoping that these razor blades pouring onto my cheeks will carve away my shame.
'Cause baby the fact that,
I L O V E Y O U,
just doesn't seem to cut it anymore.
And when I say,
I M S O R R Y,
you just shrug it to the floor.
'Cause you know, it would never occur to you that when you act this way, it kills me
and this silence
is deafening.
You think you're so in control.
And maybe you are but there's no need to take advantage.
'Cause i'm l-l-losing myself in this moment, this poem, and baby I just want you to know
you're beautiful.
And maybe I don't deserve someone like you..
But even if I don't I still shouldn't have to take
this heartache.
You know as well as I do how easy this heart is to break
but
it's still beat-beat-beating strong in my chest because
at the end of the day I guess
there's nothing much I can say to you.
Because everything in this poem you already knew.
And I am so tired and I am so scared.
Because I feel that the end is coming soon and it seems I'm the only one who cares.
But tell me baby, can you bare
to see me walk away?
'Cause I remember on the phone I know I heard your voice shake.
And I know I heard you hesitate
when you said you weren't so sure about us..
But maybe that's just my wishful thinking at it's best.
So tonight as I lie down to bed,
I'll think of you.
Even though you don't want me to.
I'll be waiting, dreading, fearing to greet those 21 weeks of misery.
Pure misery,
with you as it's company.

Okay, I'm feeling a bit poetic so won't you humor me for a second?
Now if I
were to embed these painful words so deep into your mind
with such a powerful sting that would bring tears to your eyes,
tell me, baby, what would be your first perception of me?
Because I assure you, I'm nothing you've ever seen
and I am nothing you wish to meet.
& these voices are telling me that you and I are are forbidden.
But at the same time I'm sitting here wishing
that maybe someday forbidden won't be so much of a set back
but more of a chance to keep our hearts on track.
And as we lie motionlessly in the midst of the night
I hear our hearts race;
BOOM BOOM like thunder
in unison as, I,
the storm that will wash away the brightness in those eyes
is approaching your bed side.
As I listen to you breathe, I grow still.
Because at that moment, I realize that your beauty is astonishing.
I panic. I panic like I always do when I see your face in my dreams.
Because in my dreams, you and I are together.
And we both know, thats what we want but we're too afraid to reach for it.
So we reach for the wrong things, the wrong people, to fill this void.
But little do we know darling, these things will only deepen
this void.
So tell me, where do we go from here; I'm clueless.
Because despite my introduction, I am fear.
Not fearless.

I am ugly.
Amy says to herself in the mirror;
wishing her face was clearer.
Wanting her smile to be brighter.
Longing for the skin around her waist and thighs
to be just a little bit tighter.
She's nowhere near perfection;
nothing short of a defection.
Just one of the few flaws on Humanity's gorgeous face.
Or so she believed
before she could really see
the true so called "beauty"
those around her posessed.
Most of them are all faker than fake.
Coated with a plastic cake
hiding their distinctive features
to the point where your face
is just like hers
making all hope of individuality disappear.
Pretty much goes against everything we're fighting for, huh?
All of you claiming to be so different; what happened to that, huh?
Oh and let's not forget "skinny".
'Cause, baby, skinny itself just isn't skinny enough is it?
Craving attention as if it were vital
like the air we breathe.
Lying about your home life;
Wearing your pain on your sleeve.
Like savages, we crawl;
desperately begging for reassurance from everyone else
but ourselves.
They've taken your personalities
and made them indifferent.
Making it so that you are so much easier to form
into what others see
as beautiful.
Well take it from me then, Sweetie,
this oppressive standard of beauty is sickening.
Sickening like the *****
traveling up your throat and out onto the toothbrush
you are using to conform yourself to this standard.
Sickening like the pounds of cover up that are quite obviously
clogging those pores.
But oh, the lies you've told have already filled
enough of the gaps in your heart.
Face it girl, you don't even know who you are.
You've been engrossed by the standard
you all swear you're not a part of.
It is disgusting;
ugly, almost beyond repair.
Now Amy, she is beautiful.
That's right, take a good, long stare.
She won't change herself to be like you.
Can't you see you're miserable?
Pathetic, it's true.
I am beautiful.
Amy says to herself in the mirror.
Wishing, wanting, longing
for all of you to hear her.

I knew it was dangerous..
To be in his very presence like a
Moth who's gotten himself too close to the light.
Like a natural born pacisfist picking a fight.
Like that "we need to talk" talk
that really isn't conversation just
candy coated devestation.
But no, I just couldn't believe what was so
easy to see.
I just got caught up in this moment like a
cat in a tree.
Like this rhyme without a beat.
And I'm sorry because
if I ever thought it would have to end like this..
Hell, I would do it again just to feel this bliss.

And as your lips trembled upon mine I swear I could have died
because that moment seemed to be the reason for my very existence.
Your persistence? It's cute but
lately you've been on mute 'cause
you almost never come my way. But your eyes,
darling, they say so much.
I'm feeling this energy in every touch.
Maybe you're nervous. Or maybe I
am just over-reacting so I'm sorry
because that is my very nature.
But for you, I'll make sure everything is perfect
'cause you're worth it.

As I lie here, I think about the good times and I realize that my
feelings for you will never subside but, baby, you belong in the back of my mind.
Like this, incongruity in time in which we are living in our dreams where
darling its just you and me. So tell me, what in the world are you waiting for?
Let's keep this love burning ever more. Like lust on fire with a wicked twist; a kiss.
A breath-taking kiss that left me speechless. You left me needing it.
Don't try to understand because you can't. Not without your heart at stake.
But don't get me wrong, I'd rather take this bullet through the heart
than watch you fall apart. Because that's what you do when you love someone right?
You fight. Tell me, why didn't you fight?! What happened to my heaven? What happened to my life? My l i f e. Darling you were my life. So I'll drive this knife with crippling confusion
in unison with the words that will always remain in the back of my mind and that's fine.
As long as you are giving up this fight, as long as I remember this bitter cold night,
my feelings for you will never see the light.

Walking down the street
your hearts are skipping the exact same beats.
A unison that anyone would wish for.
He came out of the darkness
as the most unpleasant surprise.
Reeking of demise
he stole her from your grasp.
One hand over her mouth and one hand over her heart
he sprinted
but you boy, you ran after her.
You ran and ran until your stomach screamed;
until your feet began to bleed.
Oh how you cried.
That man, he took her to a isolated place
so that she would have to face
him. And only him.
Her screams, were insignificant because at that moment
she was no one.
The look in his eyes as he undressed her was
mortifying.
She tried to run, she tried to scream but he was in control.
Then he plunged; breaking the skin that kept her innocense so beautiful.
& he plunged; scraping the walls of her ****** making her bleed.
& HE PLUNGED into her heart, soul, and mind
making her cry.
Oh how she cried.
And you boy, you heard her screams.
But they were hushed by your own dreadful sobbing;
Bawling yourself into an unconcious state of failure and loss.
And that girl, she was paralyzed with pain;
Drenched with the strange white substance that filled her with
s h a m e.
Her ****** had been bruised and scarred by the monster.
She said, "God.. God I know you can hear me. Help me. You are not going to let me die."
That man he turned around and laughed.
Smiling as he said, "Girl. Sweet, sweet girl.
I am Anastatious and this is your sacrifice."