I hide my feelings & maybe it's not the smartest thing do,  But it's mostly bc I'm a fool for you.
I'm falling for the idea of you
Not knowing the real you
It's dangerous
It excites me, but I've noticed it might not be the right combination of things ....
It's the type of excitement where you're blind and don't care
It's the type where you speak in subs bc you're afraid to speak your feelings
It's the kind of excitement you don't want, but see I never really minded all that bc I still didn't know the real you & I'm not the type
To judge just bc I really like you.
In reality I gave you to much hype
It wasn't fair to me bc I ended up tripping. See I forgot you told me your not a good catcher, but I still put my trust in you & I wanna beat myself up for thinking I ever had a chance with you....
I was and still am fool for you...
I tried everything I could for you.
I should've known it wasn't gonna work, from the jump one of us was already hurt. We want the same things, but we also lack the same things. I covet you... And it's wrong for you..... & me...
I thought we were meant to be
Just bc we're the same sign you & me. But just bc we're the same sign doesn't mean we can be the perfect mix. I wanted the idea of you. The thought that we were perfect me & you. The romance, the passion, the strength, the deepness, & .... & I was wrong.... I thought it was something that would make us fall together, but instead we fell apart without being together. I tell myself that we met the wrong way or maybe bc we live to far away, but then it hit me; if it was meant to be it would've been. See I believe things always happen for a reason. God knows who to put in your path and why he does it we only know after it happens. Idk why he put you in my path or why I was put in your path. All I know is after I met you I don't use that website I met you on, I don't look for anyone I wasn't really looking for someone in the first place. You just stood out to me. I took a chance ..... It didn't fail, it just needs real feeling or deep convos not lols or nahs ... In reality idk why I felt it was necessary to write all this you might not even read all this. ... I just hope that you take the time to read all this..

Approaching you is useless
Because all you seem to focus on
Is the fact that I’m your oldest influence
But this anger no longer has an alarm
See, you can’t push this away any further
All you do is make the pain stronger
Make me crack and break
Until you make me think its fate

But why can’t you just admit it
That’s all I’m waiting for
For you to make this reasonable
Make it understandable
Because for me to go through this pain
There must be something logical
That makes the pain go away
Something magical

Honestly, honesty is what I’m looking for
But there is no reasoning with you
You wanna pile every lie you can
Before admitting that the **** hit the fan
In the end all you say is give me a few
Like that’s supposed to explain
This heart ache that I’m going through

Seeing you was priceless
but touching you was precise
I like the was your hands feel on my thighs
And how we watch the sunrise
Without the sun burning through our eyes
I like the way you kiss me gently
Mellow me with jazz playing
Eyes gleaming
Fire flaming
But our time remaining
Wasn't time expecting
I'm gonna miss those lips
That kiss
That smile
That.... That ....
And what am I saying
I'm mesmerized
With those big brown eyes
Have me smiling
Not from ear to ear
But from eye to eye
Got me looking like miss Chung lee
Got me wanting to rub your feet
Got me doing all this crazy ****
And for what
For some attention
Some affection
For what?
For those hands on my body
For those hands on my thighs
For what? You tell me bc I don't even know why you got me thinking twice about going to the state of sunshine
Where there is no you ....
But I gotta do ....what I gotta do

Love doesn't come easy
But good things take time
If it's too fast, it won't work
If it's too hard, it suffocates
Love is sand at the beach and water from the river
Love is force of a passionate kiss and kindness of a child
Love is as gentle as a summers breeze and surprises you like a strangers compliment
Love takes time, as good things always do

I am afraid
Afraid to be in love
You ask me why
And I tell you that it's bc of you
You ask me who
I answer no one
You ask me what
I respond with a simple nothing
But what I love about you
Is that you know that it's something
I ask you what
Bc you look at me with a sadden face
You ask me again
I turn my head
And you turn away
He starts walking without me noticing
I whisper, but it's too late
I'm in love with you
And it's too late ...

My feelings have been out of control lately.
I'm one of those people
The ones who never have anything to say people
Who are ashamed to be understood
Not knowing that understanding is a greater good... People

Yeah, I'm one of THOSE people
The ones who are afraid to ask a question-
Because they can't seem to handle REJECTION
Afraid that a QUESTION may lead to REJECTION
Therefore a simple question isn't worth the repudiation

Yeah, I'm one of those people.
The ones who can't seem to breathe right
Can’t seem to eat light
Yeah........ One of those people.
I just wish I was normal.....
Not to be justified

By my EMOTIONS being magnified
or my screams being AMPLIFIED....
And even though I try to be greater than what I'm meant to be,
I still end up as one of THOSE people...