I saw him in the fields as a boy
And he was smiling
Such a tender youth and full of love
For every living thing great and small

The sheep were all around him
And each he fed out of hand
One by one, smiling at his flock
With eyes full of love
And a heart ever giving


I saw him in the market square
And he was smiling
The great teacher
And all those who follow him

The people did flock to see him
And he spoke to them and told stories
He taught the masses, young and old
I saw the shepherd king
When jesus of Nazereth came to market

I saw him in his chains
Lead through the town bruised and ******
Lead by roman jailors toward death
While all around the crowd was in turmoil

He never cried out, nor begged for life
He never moaned, never complained
Even when the raised him up, and nailed him to the cross
His only words were a dying prayer
He was smiling.

I looked down the steep cliff I'm standing on
And I tell myself, it's okay.
But in truth, it's not.
Because I replay a scene in my head
That I would fall and break
And then I'm gone.
I looked at the guy right in front of me.
And I tell myself, it's okay.
But in truth, I'm not.
Because I want to share my heart with him
And be each other's strength.
But my heart is glass.
I looked in front of the mirror
And asked myself, "why?"
And I found an answer
to why do I
have to be this way.
In every fear that I face,
I ask, "What if?"
A future that might happen
A future that might not.
What if I fall?
What if I break?
Too many what-ifs
Too many to waste.
It is the seed of fear.
The seed of restlessness.
To be engulfed in the branches of suffocation
Because of a two-word simple question,
What if?
There is blue in the great vast sky.
There is green in the towering mountains.
Wouldn't it be stupid not to open your eyes
Because you ask yourself, "What if I go blind?"
We do not want to be hurt.
We do not want the pain.
So we hide.
Hide.
Hide in the soft, caring embrace of fear,
But we do not experience life.
For before there is a butterfly,
there is the breaking of a cocoon.
Before there is the sun,
there is the breaking of the dawn.
It hit me.
Hit me hard.
Hit me fast.
Hit me through.
There is nothing wrong to be afraid.
But to stay afraid for the rest of your life,
is like holding a sword
but hiding in the war.
We have the power to fight.
We have the power to break free.
The first step is to stop
asking "What if?"
There is a magnificent world right there in front of us.
There is beauty of every kind.
And fear keeps us contained,
to experience what God has provided.
Earth is beautiful.
Life is beautiful.
It's too wasteful to waste it,
to live it with What-ifs.