Color Me Beautiful

The trees are an emerald green the most lovely color I've ever seen

The cardinals are an imperial red-they look like tiny apples on the snow is what my mothers often said

Everything in the world has its own color
-it's own hue

Even me
Even you

Give me the deep mahoganies of the earth
The golden yellows of the sun

Make me someone
Please God
Color me beautiful

Late at night when I shut my door
In the dark I sprint across the floor
And jump headlong into my bed
And when I close that horrible hideous,stinky door
I shut my eyes super tight(yeah you're right-its mostly out pure fright)
Because I throw the blankets way up over my head and I hide and lay still like the dead
Praying my prayer that what hides in the deep,dark shadows at night and makes me shake with fright-wont come for me on this of all nights
That the monster has not yet figured out I'm in this room
I lay like it's my tomb
All alone in my gloom and doom
I've heard it's nails drag across the rug
God! It smells of all the foul beasts that dance in the fires of hell
I swear it lets me have no rest
Till the rays of sun begin to break in the East and spread West
This foul beast will not leave me alone
Lets me not have one single bit of peace
It's a battle of sheer survival-
Until daylight makes its blessed arrival

bullying
carnage
detrimental
eventual
suicide

like or love, just know when you're around time stands still
heart wants
eyes feel
make the world go away
think about what you say
my world is caught up in your words
little things people left
little things planted grew
lost pain in my soul
why the long face love?
I thought pain was my home
a good man? maybe
his smile really gets in my head
his touch like the sun
on a cold day
old dark thoughts
remember girl he only wants your body
dark thoughts cloud up my mind
they are the ties that forever bind me
keep me lost, cold, alone, and broken
there's a happy moment
a glimmer of hope
hard to leave the past
I'm trying-finally feeling strong
slowly trying to find a new place
a good man-beautiful dark skin
wanted, needed, loved, beautiful-maybe
you touch me and I will forget
let go with every breath you breathe on my body
falling, falling, falling
god there's a  happy moment I want to believe
I don't have to fight anymore-you gave me a reason to dance
a good man-maybe just maybe
shhhhhhh....don't wake me let me sleep-snuggled safe in my dreams

Being friends with many-sinning mightly-worst being

Envy or perhaps greed

I find myself

Needing to

Gain control-but I

Have none-and so I have been and remain

Unsuccessful in

My many valiant and brave

Attempts-failures really-makes me feel small like

Nothing and no one;noinexistent,invisible,irrelevant

There's no heart inside these walls

Will you never call?

Are you there?