Grey clouds are humming me awake
And these dark walls are sweating and their drips create puddles
My crusted-over mind is on the floor beside me
It’s whispering things I’m too stubborn to hear
And all the birds’ songs are slowing down
Their nightmare-like voices are flowing through the screen
Of my open window

And sounds that once were angelic
Are horrid
And all pretty things are now bland

Wine has a color like my thoughts
Dark and wet
Because my mind is a dark room, with dew on the walls
And mold in the corners
It’s so empty I hear my dreams echo from when I was sleeping
Eleven hours ago
And honey has the consistency of my thoughts
Slow and thick
And sticky
Not letting go of the past
And collecting everything as it blows by
Just to get heavier and
Have me grow more sorrowful
My honey-thoughts and mind of dark places are unlikable
And I much prefer my old, fan-thoughts
That would blow the negative things away and cool me down
And my old mind of a castle so broad and beautiful with framed pictures on the wall
And marble stairs
Clean (never collecting dust), and organized
Where did it go?
Why did it leave?

The wind travels through me, it sees my wishing well
The trees grasp the meaning of my broad imagination
The enormous land and seas are still, and always there
So they lovingly taught me the meaning of patience

Oh, I feel quite ill,
But you do nothing for it.
And you are the cause.

Oh, you’re disgusting,
Plainly inconsiderate,
With too many flaws.

If I die, remember me in summer
Remember how I loved the sun
Loved outdoors, loved to run
Loved the grass and having fun
And if I die, thank the sun

If I die, remember me in autumn
Remember how I played in leaves
Loved the earthworms and the bees
Loved the wetness on my knees
And if I die, thank the leaves

If I die, remember me in spring
Remember how I loved the rain
Loved sitting at the window pane
Loved dancing, singing, playing games
And if I die, thank the rain

If I die, remember me in winter
Remember how I loved the snow
Loved going to the Christmas shows
Loved singing songs of rhudolph’s nose
And if I die, thank the snow

Sink your thoughts into my open-ended pen of a mind and I’ll write them down and analyze them on a Wednesday which I have no plans.
Open your goals with me and I’ll stuff them down the centre of a paper airplane and we’ll grip hands and throw it together aiming it directly into the wishing well of our future

Well I made it across in my boat
The murky sea, plentiful in doubts and sorrow
It ate up my oar
And I sobbed as I used my arms in replacement
But I’ve made it across and this land is glazed in flowers
I’m finally okay

You grabbed my hand
And you’re pulling me down the exact paths you once placed ‘wrong way’ signs in front of.
And I’m thinking
‘Perhaps you’re just feeling sympathetic’, because you once were unintentionally scared of my love.
‘Too good to be true’
Is the line that’s repeated inside of the walls in my head ever since.
But I best believe it
‘Cause believing is better than doubting it’s true and losing my chance.

I feel all that’s inside me shake, criss-cross and tumble,
Ending up in places they shouldn’t be.
My feelings get confused and are unsure of how much
Of themselves to portray, or let go of completely.
I sit and stand and lay and think, but my thoughts do not
Know enough to figure things out.
And I know I should be using my head, but my heart is
What all this commotion’s about.

Our love sails in uncharted waters,
Where the water is murky and we can’t see the ground.

Our love walks in forests at night time,
Where odd things are cooing and making strange sounds

Our love sees through eyes that tear up,
And sometimes are blinded and unable to see

Our love blooms like a flower, then hides
When the sun isn’t up, and gone are the bees

So

I can only laugh now; haha!

How silly of me to fall

In love! In love?

Hah! I laugh again

Love; how cliché, and common

And predictable



– And– and a little... nice

And, warm

And...

Wonderful.

-


...What was I laughing at again?

Our love was a flower,
but somebody came and plucked all the petals off.

Everyone around us took one, and they passed it around with whispers.
The wind took them and shoved them in our ears,
and we ignored them.

But our love is nothing without color.

You are odd, and you’re oddities sprout from your eyes and your mouth
Like you wouldn’t believe
You are mysterious, and the mysteries keep coming as you talk to me
And there’s more up your sleeve.

You come off as things that you aren’t, and you’re exterior’s much different
Than the insides you bare.
You gather up your characteristics in a bag, and even I cannot untie it
Because you don’t like to share.

My regrets are falling down on me like rain
And I know I’ve always said that I don’t have any
Each bad thing leads to a good
But I am noticing some that have never done anything good for me
Except get the curiosity out
But I would have rather been curious my whole life long
Than have regret taunting me in my sleep
And in my days

Why are you glowing red hot
But cool to the touch
And send heat through my heart
But chills down my spine
Goose bumps on my arms
And sweat on my palms
What temperature are you, exactly?

Rain and its beauty
And the beads that fall off my
Slippery raincoat

And the glaze they place
On things they land on, and how
They can make rainbows

And the sound it makes
When it’s landing in puddles
Or just on the ground

And how it fell from
So high up and it is still
So perfectly round

And I wonder what
They think of dying so soon
After they are born

And their unique scent
And how rain is a cold thing
But makes you feel warm

My mind does the touching
And morphing
And feeling
And making, creating and inventing

Whereas my hands
Just do what my mind says to do
So they really are just
Slaving

...But I suppose if I did not have them
The things of my mind could not come to life
Could not be possible outside of my own being
And those things would forever stay in bottles and labelled boxes in my head
And forever develop spider webs and dust!

So, thank you, hands.
Thank you very much.

The little monsters in my heart have begun to dance,
And they no longer feast on the blood pumping through
They feast on you.

Nature is so confident
Its beauty is so prominent
Its grace flows just like butterflies
In yellow skies
It whistles through the branches
As a field of flowers dances
And a forest with a flowing stream
Just like a dream

Amazement overcomes me
When I step outside
From the littlest blade of grass to the biggest tree
From the smallest crawling bug to the fattest bee
When I step outside
Amazement overcomes me

I was once the color of the ocean,
Sad and alone, and eventually
Got sick of it all
Turned green
And I had the notion
That I should be happy
That I should be smiling like the sun
Turned yellow
Was dancing, with no expectations
And was always having fun
But soon after, I became pink
My cheeks were warm, and flushed
Had a crush, went crazy in the head
My heart expanded slowly
The feeling became stronger
Turned red

Butterflies? Ha!
I feel dragons with wingspans of fifty feet
Racing through my entire body

You drive me around
And take me to places I’ve never known
Or even thought to know
And these places
Aren’t always anything special on their own
But they’re places that you brought me
And so they’re special places I went with you
Special, unlike if I had been alone

What’s the point in pretending everything is not as it is
Because it only makes what is, left to be unfixed! and if ignored long enough
It will only get worse and be even more unfixable
So I’ll just stay with reality for now and try my best to fix what is
So that what is, is even more appealing than what isn’t

Not always is a map put in front of you
Not always are you passed a compass for good judgement
Not always are answers so clear
Not always is the final product laid out on the table
Not always is a rough draft drawn out
Not always are clues so obviously picked out
Not always are pathways cleared
Not always are rules so easy to follow
–  Not always is finding things easy

What doesn’t get done
Will never get done
If no one decides to pursue it

What always is done
Doesn’t need to be done
But it’s done by all those who do it

What sometimes is done
Is too often un-done and
Should probably be done all the time

And what wants to be done
But not done quick enough
Could be easily done just in time

If fears
Were our laugh-at’s and don’t-care’s
If worries
Were our yeah-whatever’s and who-care’s
If failures
Were our pick-me-up’s and motivations
If don’ts
Were our must-do’s and determinations

How would the world be then?

I hate the sounds that I am hearing,
These sounds they haunt me so.
These sounds are sad, and make me frown,
These sounds are sounds of letting go.

An airplane has the sound of leaving,
A faucet, one of running (away),
The fridge reminds me of standing still,
Lost for words with none to say.

The floor, it creaks, but not as much,
‘Cause now it’s only my feet left
You aren’t around, and the lack of you
Has taken sound; committed theft.

I look at my window but not out
And I’m looking at its unprotected-of-weather surface, blue and wet
Crying
And pebbled in drops of the rain that has been falling all day
And I feel like it
My surface blue, and wet
Crying,
And pebbled in drops of the pain that has been falling on me
For a while now
My window and I have a lot in common, it seems

Show me how I can be just as important as a single tree;
A necessity on its own, but part of many.
Show me I'm just as unreal as the ocean;
Almost never-ending and full of unimaginable mysteries.
Show me I'm as grand and vital as the whole earth,
For if I am not, I will simply love the earth instead.

Finding beauty has to be the easiest thing I do in a day
Next to breathing of course

I see all things beautiful through these lucky eyes of mine
Don’t you just wish you had eyes like these

What is beautiful does not have to be considered so by the majority
But seen a different way, or simply just noticed
But you have to be pretty talented
To notice

I pick you apart
To find flaws that I don’t like
Because I love you

You don’t feel the same
And I need a reason to
Feel the same as you

If you’re just here for fun and games
Count me out.

If temporary is your name
Count me out

If what involved, I’ve felt before
And familiar things are at my door
And routines will start to show up more
Count me out

The orange sky
Welcomes in the herons flying by
Blue to the feathers
But yellow in the eye
And the grass, the emerald green
So clean
Saying hi to the
Black and yellow bees
Near by

I agree
A little wooden bridge over a creek in the woods
Is a perfect place
To ask me on a date

Your words flowed like the river
With little ripples at times, like it
Your eyes held strong like the trees
And your intentions were as good as nature’s, on living things

Oh it was a cold day
But you made me feel so warm

Taste what you should in the air
Which is beauty without anything to hold
Without anything to see
Taste and feel
What is there but not in sight

I’m tugging your sleeve
I feel like a small child with their parent at the amusement park
And I’m saying to you, mentally,
“You’re just jumping at everything that comes at you!
Taking it under your arms and caressing it
Announcing it loud and clear!
Your plans are made”
But oh,
You let them go when something more shiny and new comes along
And you let go of all you said before and now you’ve scribbled out your future
And are writing a new
And what is this? A comical change? Are you doing this for the fun of it?
Because you’re bouncing like a bunny
And smiling along the way
And I can’t help but never take you seriously
Because with the dusty things you have now
There are shinier things to come
And you change your mind as often as I bite my nails

If I die, please thank the snow
For falling from the sky
So pretty as she glazes earth
Thank her if I die

If I die, please thank the sun
For lighting up my day
So warm and happy constantly
Thank her if I pass away

If I die, please thank the rain
So simple and serene
For all those times I’ve danced in them
Please thank them if leave

If I die, please thank the earth
For its wonders and its gifts
For showing me what beauty is
And teaching me to live

My eyes are a gift
             And so are yours
And too often we go unseeing what should be seen
             Ignoring what should be analyzed
                          Searching for what isn’t found
Because you can’t possibly know what you could be missing out on
             If you’re missing out on it

When I’m feeling cold
Simple thoughts of you warm me
From the inside, out

You are beautiful,
All of your outside and in,
All of your being.

Trust me on this one,
Even in your worst of days,
Beauty I’m seeing.

My eyelashes are whispering to one another
Asking the same question to see if any of them know the answer:
Why do they feel best when resting on your face?

I’ll stop getting mad
If you stop giving me all
Those reasons to be

And I will trust you
As soon as you stop giving
Me reasons not to

Death could be beauty
If you defined it; but soon
Death will define you

Pour me a glass of your antidote
Give me a bottle of here’s-a-new-start
Inject me with ease and feel-good’s
Be the answer to my tick-tocking heart

Valentine,
Love of mine
Don’t resign
Stay in line
Keep in mind
You’ll never find
A love like mine

Talk to me like rosemary and oil,
Like the sour with the sweet,
The heat of the noodle stew,
The first sip of a red wine,
The juicy steak with thyme
And shiitake
Look at me with eyes as gravy
And talk to me like honey
That drips like melting ice,
Like fennel and onions,
And biscuits with peaches
Talk to me like umami risotto,
With leeks
Like viola lemonade
And cinnamon cherry pie
With lime
Sip me like your creamy earl grey
And talk to me like toast and egg,
Like bergamot marmalade
Talk to me this way

There are certain things that I do certain ways
And you mess them all up and then laugh in my face
But I don’t get mad; I adapt to the change
I won’t be stopped by your little kid games

You keep me awake in my trying-to-nap
My trying-to-nap thinks of your touch
It’s thinking of you, and I’m still awake
My trying-to-nap is a nap-not-so-much