The tread up was quick,
Read my map before we
Stopped for a picnic
Kicking rocks, picking leaves
Eating berries on the trees
Incline and decline but nothing
We couldn’t face with ease
T’was a breeze

But at the top...
When we stopped,
When the mountain grew red
And the thunder below us
Causing sweat beads to shed
And hopefulness fled
We looked to each other
And cried
As my face and bones vulcanized
Of the bubbling magma
The struggling stagnant stance
Of our feet betraying us,
Standing nonplussed
Breathing croaky and gruff
I huff,
You hum

What have we done

When the fatigue of the tree festers
When the leaves weep
And side-sweep
And sap leaks of the arboraceous bole
The foul smell of dampened,
Fermenting flora
The bog
The muck
The moor
Forever grot and grunge
But never moans,
Never loathes the morning
Never curses the sun for rising
Or hexes the moon,
Or thinks life bleak or banished
It settled in its mold
The duty it was told,
It’s destined purpose
As a puddle upon plates of terrain,
A tamed stain, remaining unmoved
And unaffected by
You and I,
Unaffected by passerby’s
Translucent and still,
Entirely exposed and yet unseen
Insouciant,
Tranquil
Composed
Serene

I have a hollow part of me,
That is chartered for use,
Named
Owned
Signed and sold

It’s molded for only one kind
No other hands can hold
No other ears can hear what’s told
No other’s love can find
No other’s soul can wholly bind

Your metal against me,
The cold edge of your weaponry
The manacles, your body’s debris
Against my face like the sand of the desert
Vanquished feelings you banished to dungeons,
But the bludgeoned internalized truth, burning like cyanide, will be a battle unending,
A horrific cry from inside
Be glad when the sun rises,
And light grazes the shadows ignored by your stubborn mind
Do what’s unkind if it means that dubiety will cease,
And fate will tickle my pride,
And tease fleetingly, the right direction,
The next step, the resurrection of cognizance,
For if we let a chance by,
I’m stuck taking steps in the devil’s dance,
I’m welded at stance; wallowing at the willow tree’s cry

I look at life
With a warm cloak around me,
The mantle of your amiability
And when you unfastened the veil
Over my eyes,
To my surprise,
I saw the Elysian Fields,
Waterfalls
Mountains high,
Kaleidoscope lullabies
And all my fantasies underpinned
By the foundation we blanketed
The quilt of our proclivities
The dreams we animated
The dance we seize
Our castles in the air
Our lair
I’m struck with glee,
I’m thankful for your anatomy,
I’m thankful that you took me there

My heart pumping iron like a
Boilermaker
The steady hand; focused mind
Next move,
Weave through
Don’t swallow untruths
Reworking foundation like a
Millwright
Don’t let the past dismantled disarray
Frighten you away
The plans frayed
The gas breaks
I’m interlocking interrelations like a
Pipefitter
Piecing together chronicles
Of a story fabricated
Easily persuaded
Vulnerable and naked
If you’re awake,
Don’t make me wait,
Fated to the dark
Until my iron coagulates

The firefly clouds, glowering teasingly,
Scintillating with sweet melancholia
At the site of their eternal lure
In it’s inward sinking creases
As it corrugates
Into it’s bellowing pleats
(Like my blanket in which I’m receding)

The cherry blossom beast, dusty rose
And swaying with my sorrows
Ebbing when the wind blows
It knows my abnormalities
The clockwork of it’s mastery over me
Gleaming at me like a haunting unshaken,
Taunting my nightmare’s return below
As it’s colossal significance
Outweighs my inward woes

The lacklustre paralysis of flat rock
The slabs strategic and few
Receive the drum of the deluging skies
And support my view,
As I’m rooted upon one as my royal prize
My throne amidst illusion
I watch each suicidal drop fragmentize
And flower into bulbous aqua crowns
And quickly dematerialize
A mirrored release of my inner cries

The cascade; an adventurous torrent,
A majestic meander,
Humbly and monstrously resplendent
Equanimous and independent
In feud with the far-flung thunder’s hum
But alas, it knows it’s echelon
As I’m the queen of my own ascent
This idyll,
This heaven I mindlessly invent
To repent
And release what is unpleasant inside me

Is this lechery for your trickery?
Is this wicked at play,
But I like it anyway?
Do I have say, at all,
Within these fallen walls
My eyes gleam and sway
The chandelier jingles,
The doors close,
My eyes glow
Is this lechery for your trickery,
Or do I just love a good show?

Crawl on me with spider legs
Thunder thoughts, unleash the plague
Shout your secrets, lay your eggs
On your knees and beg

You cower in the corner, small
You hear my heart beat in the walls
Muscles tense while voices call
You drown me like a waterfall

Protective waves sweep my veins
Washing off the year’s bloodstain
To sow, then weep, then harvest grain
Until we’re weak, and welcome pain

Of all the past and lives foregone
I found you in each frightful one
My bones and teeth remember well
The haunting sound of the passing bell

Those green eyes of yours
My favourite thing to see
So now please face me

I look around here
For something just as pleasing
Who am I teasing

Your cessation
The conclusion I’ve come to
The fate we never un-dwindled
The fate we never bared
But it was a fate of mine and someone else
A fate beheld
Against you
Without you
A fate unshared

Why yes,
Your meek existence has not gone unheard
You showed me the way
Walked me to the path,
But now you must watch my fading back
This was no fortuity
No fortune with me,
No future you seek was held in my teeth

No,
Your kismet is kind, though blind
It’s behind you
Let your debossed muddied stride
Be your guide
I’ll wave goodbye
You belong somewhere still
But it’s not by my side

I slit apart your soul,
And I ridicule your innards,
I cackle at the thought of such a sad excuse
For this lump of human rind and bone,
You lived a life alone
And so,
Your termination shall be so, as well

I interpose myself between the dirt and your mind,
My jaw unhinges devilishly
My tongue licks you blind,
As it spits putrid words of pity
Dastardly staring darts into your
Witty little demise
That I conjured up myself,
A plan I devised
Your shriek will not salvage what’s left
Stop wriggling,
Your writhing is futile
You’re powerless,
Pathetic mortal *******,
You’re crucified
Why bother try?
Your cries go unnoticed,
Neither dead or alive
No one close by
Your miserable wheezing
As I’m breathing with ease
I’ll mutilate your wants and desires
Set ablaze in a fire
Incinerated with your own choir
Your sad song of solus fate
You’re at stalemate
Your blood will stagnate
Until it’s mucilaginous
Until your own body defeats you,
It chokes you and mistreats you,
And ends you from the inside out
A slow death, undoubtedly
A vile, cataclysmic, unendurable ending
An excruciating decease
But fair,
As you deserve nothing less
Than this wretched release

The fractal rays of the light
Through the frozen window,
The furious wind blows
My curious thought echos
The storm will not cease
But my mind is at ease

The smoke of the chimneys,
Fierce howling of might,
The fright of the whistling branch
The snow in a fury; a dance
The storm will not cease
But my mind is at ease

The latch rattles, wood creaks
Dust emancipated from antiques
My heart speaks
To the williwaw shrieks
The storm will not cease
But my mind is at ease

Your grappling hook
Latched to my rope
I harness the hope of hereafter
I greet it with laughter
We snicker at the doom below,
A tomb you’ll never know,
As the womb of our quiddity
The viscidity of release,
The nucleus of your fantasy
Is what my mind seduces
I’ll never fall,
I’ll never traduce this
And we will know the peak
The proximate pinnacle,
The victory,
The conquered squall
The tallest wall,
We will know defeat

Your once opalite mind,
Like charcoal
Like abrasive sod
Vitriolic tendencies
But alas,
You’ve sent them down sea
Burning the barque,
Where the body of your old ways lay
As you watch the ashes of the past
Incinerate and orchestrate into soot
A gaseous state of night terrors,
A smoky, mocking, voluminous cloud
That’s laughing at your errors,
Wrongdoings you’ve bared
The incandescence of your deeds
Bleeds for both of us
The deceit now loud,
A banging drum,
A thump against your head unbowed
You don’t cower, now
Standing ground, brows frowned,
Tenacity potent, firm stance, hands focused
Searing stare of green eyes,
Your stentorian war cry
A changing fate dancing nearby
Hyper-focused on the prize
With your battle axe in hand
Eqquiped for the skirmish
Ready for the ride
And me
Fighting at your side

Feel it drench us
Heart to toe
I feel the past below,
Let’s tread,
Let’s trek,
Let’s tottle,
Full throttle
Utopia ahead,
Your role model is a single thread
The one that matched us long ago
A single thread
That lies untied
Between our bodies in the snow
The single thread
And our life anew,
To utopia we go
Me and you

Deceiving
Dainty,
Disguised
Delay

Achieving
Angry
Advised
Astray­

Rereading
Rarity
Realize
Replay

Evening
Eery
Edgewise
Erase

S­eething
Safety
Surprise
Someday

Lay siege to my mind;
Pull strands of old thought
Through old soot, through old knots
Force the draw bridge to lower,
Archaic mosaic of my brain’s walls
A palisade to invade
A great brawl

Raise the caskets,
A layer of dust, and sediment
A lock of resentment, a fear of resettlement
A mockery of my pottery
My walls fall into crumble,
How long until dismemberment
How long until my deepest thoughts
Are your white elephant

The staggering hiss and crackle of the ice beneath your feet
Is the same sputtering strain I feel in my chest;
The beat of the muscle contracting,
The beat of the muscle recedes, taking comfort in it’s nest

A phantom, masked,
The apparition of my past, taken aghast without reason taken into scrutiny, without heed
Inexcusably
Without the feud, or the fight
Or the chance at a bait cast

I stare stained glass in the face,
Unclear, tainted of a better day,
Unsure where the path lays
My spectacles unmovable,
I should take on eyes of the blind, but I can’t look away

Assess me,
I’m frigid and bare;
I took the plunge, dare to join me?
Dare to fly without baggage and forage beneath?
It’s freeing
To tear down the wall
And let the outsiders crawl
Into the cavern of your ribs and the creases of your mind
Where there’s nowhere to hide
Climb me
I’ll show you the steps
You’ll wish there were less
But you’ll never grow tired, each stair a compass, each tread I undress
To collect at the top of the mountain
Drink from my river, your personal fountain,
Dig your toes in the dirt, plant your seeds in a line
Divert from nothing; my insides benign, lie naked, unafraid, unhidden, unbind

Gather yourself,
And I’ll pour you a glass of my antidote
Under your shell the maggots collect,
Recollect your demeanor and your best memories, we all need reminders that we don’t just have enemies,
Release
Find the keys to the chest,
And let your chest beat be a palpitating reminder of the rest
Take a gander at my remaining treasures
Fleeting and weathered
Unlike your rising regret
You’re focused on the things you need to forget
Clutch my clenching flesh-cloaked metacarpal bones
Before my rationality and my senses go, or at least before your will to live releases so

A veil comes across, a grieving sound beckons but a helpless whisper pulls
A grieving sound beckons but a helpless whisper pulls
You pull at what strings lay withered of me
Your strength - not untangles, but, detaches my puppets
I lay about with wholehearted regret, as I’m regurgitating health back into you, but where is mine if I’ve used it all up for my friend.
Where is mine if I’ve used it all up for my friend.

My heart of a whittler’s hesitant interest
A ficus among all the shiny canoes
A journey unknown, both wandering and lost
Its song bellows out for not one ear to witness

Perhaps, unsure of them who walk on two feet
It’s thump resonates with the owl and the hare
It’s chorus harmonizing with melodious gust
The wind knows it well, matching rhythm and beat

My aura, uncoloured, holds true an inquiry
Am I fated to flee from grasps of eminence?
Fated to avoid the stained foot steps ahead
And follow the will-o’-the-wisps inside me?

My heart of an artists blank canvas prevails
Unscathed and untampered at what cost
Questions of when will it learn to play rough
My human carcass held anchored as my essence sets sail

What is a lonely cricket's life even worth
if no one hears it chirp?
Are we to determine it's worth,
Between it's time of death and birth?

A true adventurer as I ever did see,
A warrior who leads,
A lone survivor I admire
One of grass and trees

The cricket never lost or stopping to wonder
One step after another,
His compass: his heart,
The path is his brother

Takes the world as is for what it sees
The small ground it defeats
in it's tiny, naked life
But only tiny to me

Even when no ear to vindicate the sound
Musical leaps and bounds
A song in every step
A composer unowned

A melody just to entertain the sky
A beautiful chirping cry,
Even when no one's to listen
Even when no one's nearby

Far away like a planet
I see you appear
My memory jogs, latching to a slot
like a view-master
You're finally here
I click through
It's rickety with static,
I'm stricken with fear
I know what nostalgia can do
Raising feelings of the past like the undead
Dropping thoughts like morning dew

But I start to breathe,
I see our souls come out to play,
and I lost myself today
As I watched our spirits dance
Mine flowing like a blue dress
and yours like wild fires
And everything's okay
It's like we never stopped the music
all this time it played
I knew that we'd cross paths again
and dance our dance
I just took the longer way
We had to take the scenic route
to learn about ourselves
I got to know a few people on the way
they were all the wrong ones
who taught me all the right things
the past, half-assed relationship trash
and those who led us both astray
all part of the plan, you could say
the one where I walk past you in a grocery store isle
simple glance and then I take your hand
before you pay
feelings ablaze like it was yesterday

But that was not when we saw each other last
(it was a decade perhaps)
and souls barely attached
hands and heart weak from the past
but warm now
in your grasp
because through all time and space
through you and I
this love exists
at last

The tide of my mind flows in and out,
breathing out then in,
Dryness in my mouth
There's ripples in my heart and bubbles in my belly
I thought I was drowning, but
I'm sorry dear earth,
I must have drank the ocean

My hands reach out like branches to you,
dead parts of my past
fall off me like an autumn day
you've built your nest upon me and I hear your song
I thought I was falling, but
I'm sorry dear earth,
I must have ate a tree

I hit rock bottom at the base of an obstacle
I started the climb,
You latched your rope to mine
Pulled when I was slipping and relaxed my heavy breaths
I thought I wasn't budging, but
I'm sorry dear earth,
I must have stole a mountain


But I am no robber.
Then is this what it is to feel love?

Your tongue of no's
licks me dry

I have a brain of water
taking the shape of whatever it's in
and when it is in you
you manipulate it

and I say the words you want
and I think the thoughts you got
and I walk the steps you walk

but I don't let go of my balloon
I play with it in my room
and I fly when you leave
I go back to me
and there's all the yes's I want there to be

I’ve wondered always,
If I follow life, or if
My life follows me

The wind travels through me, it sees my wishing well
The trees grasp the meaning of my broad imagination
The enormous land and seas are still, and always there
So they lovingly taught me the meaning of patience

The silly butterfly;
Before it born, thought it died.

My mind like octopus tenticles
Reaching for the depths of the ocean
And the air above the crashing waves
Wriggling, bringing me to the places I wish to be

Counting the beautiful things as I walk
Seeing what nature has done to the world without our help
What the world could have done if we had never came here
To destroy what it is capable of
Oh earth, I am sorry I’m one of them

Taste what you should in the air
Which is beauty without anything to hold
Without anything to see
Taste and feel
What is there but not in sight

Plaid thoughts.
Criss-crossing, over-lapping.
I’m stuck, what should I do?
Stuck in my plaid thoughts…

A teeter-totter is my mind
Up and the other side is down
Then down and the other side is up
Perhaps if both things weighed the same this would not happen
Sadly, they don’t

Finding beauty has to be the easiest thing I do in a day
Next to breathing of course

I see all things beautiful through these lucky eyes of mine
Don’t you just wish you had eyes like these

What is beautiful does not have to be considered so by the majority
But seen a different way, or simply just noticed
But you have to be pretty talented
To notice

the tree didn’t weep

it did sag deep down and fall to the grass tips of the lawn

the drops dripping, plip plip plop, from the tree branches to the green blades

into the ground, with the worms and bugs

that climb back up through their dug hole

and climb up the willow

to see the sun coming up that morning

on a thursday where the clouds were blue, the sky was white…

The little monsters in my heart have begun to dance,
And they no longer feast on the blood pumping through
They feast on you.

The peacock has made its home inside of me, feathers fanned out
Each representing a problem of mine
And I sit back and see the pretty colors
I can't see the trouble to come or the things I must do
And if I only did them the peacock would no longer have to be inside me.

Because of you, it is not only my mouth that smiles.

My fingers, when comfortably placed between your own, either hand, smile.

My hair, when slowly and carefully you're playing with or fixing it in any way, smiles.

My back, when those arms of yours are placed along it and I feel safe from any harm my troubled, paranoid mind could imagine, smiles.

My eyes, when the vision of you or the actual you is directly in front of them, (preferably the actual you), smile.

My eyelashes are whispering to one another
Asking the same question to see if any of them know the answer:
Why do they feel best when resting on your face?

Something I have learned
Is, you can't change a person
But you can leave them

I'm trying too hard
To fit into your little
Blackened, dusty heart

Inside my heart, is
A special little corner
Reserved for nature

I climb up your nose
With my fingertips and then
They fall through your hair

The wind blows but I know it means well, not to sneak into the crack of a sleeping baby's window, but to tickle the trees, and to give me a peace I can't find in anything else.
And what I can't grab is how it dances, because I could never dance like it and if I could I would grab at the stars and be one with the clouds because thats what the wind can do
I would sit on the tree tops and have picnics of falling chestnuts
I would pet the backs of squirrels and give life to the wings of the birds and everything would be okay because I would have no broken home to go back to, but a field of flowers waiting to sway with me and hear my songs
You know when the birds sing? Yeah, well they couldn't do much without the wind, it's a mere imitation of it's beautiful sound.
The wind means well
Let it carry your hair an inch from your face and close your eyes and you may fly like the bluejays it lifts
Let it blow your clothes in a rhythmic pattern like waves on the sea and feel the ocean beneath you as you glide above it, as you fly
If I were the wind I would laugh as I bounced from kite to kite making the young ones at the end of the string happy
I want to be wind
To do all of these things
but mostly to be able to touch all of you at once

Fire is only hot to the touch so I watch the flames flip around like ladies coming out of water and throwing their hair out of their eyes.
And I watch the colors infuriate the grass beneath, for being so bright and making that green so dull. And I watch the heat that I cannot feel
The temperature only visible mentally
So for a while I pretend it’s cold
Because I can
And for a minute I pretend it’s wet, so if I had stuck my hand inside
I would not burn to black
But become glazed in red water
And maybe it would taste of coconut or something similar
So that if I licked my hand
I’d enjoy it because of my liking of coconut
And while I’m at it
I pretend the entire world is completely different
And my mind is finally at ease
Until I’m called into the tent to sleep and the snore of my friend brings me back to where I am
And what I’m really doing
And how the world really is

What’s the point in pretending everything is not as it is
Because it only makes what is, left to be unfixed! and if ignored long enough
It will only get worse and be even more unfixable
So I’ll just stay with reality for now and try my best to fix what is
So that what is, is even more appealing than what isn’t

Wine has a color like my thoughts
Dark and wet
Because my mind is a dark room, with dew on the walls
And mold in the corners
It’s so empty I hear my dreams echo from when I was sleeping
Eleven hours ago
And honey has the consistency of my thoughts
Slow and thick
And sticky
Not letting go of the past
And collecting everything as it blows by
Just to get heavier and
Have me grow more sorrowful
My honey-thoughts and mind of dark places are unlikable
And I much prefer my old, fan-thoughts
That would blow the negative things away and cool me down
And my old mind of a castle so broad and beautiful with framed pictures on the wall
And marble stairs
Clean (never collecting dust), and organized
Where did it go?
Why did it leave?