Dad, daddy, father?
What am I to call you, sir?
A hug, a handshake, a slap?
How am I to greet you, pops?
"Happy father's day!"
Is that what you want me to say?
"I've missed you throughout all these years!"
Is that really what you want to hear?
What am I to do when we meet again?
Tell my failures, tell my accomplishments?
But do you even deserve to hear any of these?
When you've been gone for all these years?
Why did you leave me, dad?
Was I not good enough; was I that bad?
What was wrong with me that you had to leave?
Did you even feel any regret or grief?
When I was younger I thought you were dead.
That's what I believed though it was unsaid.
And now that I know better,
What's your reason to render?
I just wish I could've known you.
Your name, or what you went through.
Only once, I've heard from you.
But that doesn't suffice for the chances you threw.
You were my first role model, daddy.
Cause of you, I don't get hurt easily.
I've learned leaving someone is inevitable.
And that hurting them is forgivable.
You taught me that love doesn't exist.
All love comes to an end, leaving a bitter mist.
I've learned everyone will disappoint you.
Although they're not supposed to.
You've created, within me, a monster.
Aren't you just proud of your daughter?
Because of you, I know that I'm worthless.
And everyone I value, will leave me regardless.
Now my heart's filled with hatred.
The suffering you caused has ended.
I'm not vulnerable anymore, daddy.
Now you're nothing, not even a memory.
So, dad or daddy or father,
The man who left and threw me away.
What now? What do you want me to say?
Happy Father's Day?
*-djs