its troublesome still.
is it ever achievable?
in this lifetime,
scarcely.
I wish to attain it
unconditional love
but Im selfish and mostly want it for myself
to lay my head on your lap when I don't feel like being strong anymore
it's hard sometimes in hard times to convince myself its all going to be fine
when it's all so rough
the friction distills
strains.
kills.
it's troublesome still
to not have a place to rest my anxious head.
to rely on a God whom I can't feel
nor touch
even though I know you're there
it's troublesome still.
because I need some sort of touch
a stroke
so as to leave a coded memory
embroidered on my skin
as a constant reminder that
I am
in fact
not alone.

the day i became a man
was not when i started growing hair on my face,
(though, you can never go wrong with a plentiful beard)
was not when i kissed a girl for the first time
(sad attempts at beards make for even more sad attempts at first kisses)
was not when i got a car
(never happened)
was not when i bought a house
(hasn't happened either)
nor the day i have a kid
(although it will significantly increase my manhood levels)
nor the day i start my career and begin making buttloads of money
(never going to happen)
it most definitely wasn't when i decided to bottle my feelings up,
because men don't show feeling
(this poor guy is cursed with emotions that make decisions for themselves)

no, the day i became a man
was when i realized that i had something to offer the world
it was when i realized that i'm not on this earth to take
and be selfish
or to get famous
or make lots of money
or be successful
no, my badge of manhood was earned when i came to the conclusion
that i don't need your ****** versions of what a man really is
to understand
who this man
really is

it was earned when i
stopped
trying
to earn it
and decided
to start learning
and caring
and loving
the responsibility of a mortgage is not on my shoulders
the responsibility of the world is
(and there's no other way i would rather have it)

Some of us still wish.
For greatness
For love
for even a sliver of stability
because lately it seems things are rockier than The Rolling Stones
its beginning to rattle your bones

Some of us still hold on to those childhood dreams
clinging to them as tightly as you used to cling to that
stuffed fluffy cow,
or that green plastic dinosaur.
hoping one day it would come to life
and wisk you away
to where dreams never died
and mothers and fathers never lied
when they promised
til death do us part

they never parted,
or died.
but something inside them did

Some of us still wish.
that one day we can go back to those days
when our biggest worry
was finding just the right stairs
being sure they didn't creak
so we could go drink beer
and play truth or dare

but most of us just wish
that we could live
and be happy
and live lovely
and love lively,
wildly
and untamed
until the day we die
unlike our parents
wearing the world like the tide
exploring the moons darkened sides

yeah, some of us still wish.
but there's a few that simply...
do.

"it’s all good."

*— J.A. Williams, excerpt from “Things poets never say”

I guess I'm afraid of someone being aware of my flaws
I would prefer that you saw me from afar
and never mentioned when you got close enough
to realize I am not a hero
instead, you should just keep it to yourself
and pretend that the best in me
is all that you see.

I hope my Ex never finds my hellopoetry account

it's so late
you've dimmed the dashboard
and taken out the key
for air so cold
it's thicker than it should be.

i guess i should write something that's not about you
i love
trees
ponds
skies
blondes
you were blonde
****.

what began
words
what started?
a song
before and after
its still going
you just stopped listening
you just stopped caring
wrinkled in your skin
curled in your toes
yet, nicely stacked in rows
you're walking by them
gently swathing branches
but you won't take your chances
no, never take a chance
because the song is too quiet
you have to listen to hear it
but when you do
it never leaves you
because you realize it's been there all along.
yeah, it's up to you to hear the song

gone before
never after
always somewhere
in between
what you've always known
but never seen or heard
who knows what that means?
not me
it's up to you to decide.
maybe then you'll see.