i have all the time in the world
and i'll have all the world in time
all the world as in
you
because my world is in your heart
and your heart, will in time, be mine
the desire is real and desire leads to action
ah, but not to desire your skin on mine
though that addresses me with a smile anytime she pierces my consciousness
and now, instead of personal revelation in the form of
perfect poetical pontification
comes the inevitable disdain
i can't help but be disgusted at my own sappiness
i can't help but read these words and think
"*******....
you're such a ****.
what the hell are you writing.
do you even understand it?
you have no idea what you're writing."
and I lose my inspiration
and I'm left here.
every.
time.
so ***** it

you don’t know how special you are. you don’t understand yet. maybe one day. maybe one day you’ll understand the same thing he told me.
i was on my knees, skin bitten by the nipping freeze. the words couldn’t have been more clear. referring to the pain in my knees, it said, “this is the pain you cause me.” i wept.
but it wasn’t half a second before another voice kept me. held me. brought me back to life.
“No.”
“you are my child.” it said.
and as if to convince me, to make sure i knew, “you are my child, you are my child, you are my child. ” this time, I smiled.
i knew. and 3 times bigger, that night, my heart grew.
and now you, my friend, though half my age and entirely unique
are also
“his child”
so i choose to love you,
and encourage you
until you believe

I’ve gotten myself deep in this one, haven’t I

I jumped head first into a hole, hoping there was refreshing water at the bottom

and you there, calling me in

a warm oasis to congratulate our risk

only to find

a broken neck

that is to say,

my bones are cracked

my heart is raw

there’s nothing left

i'm flattened on the floor

and now i’ve become somewhat of an observer of my own demise

I say this because I was the cause

I was the reason this all happened

the trigger

the bullet

and the gun

and you were,

the target

the victim

the one

at least, I thought you were

who’s to say anymore

not I

I mean, the whole reason i’m in this hole

is because i’m guilty

the reason why I wait

is because i’m guilty

i took a shot

you took the fall

I came after you

risked it all

but i should have known after the first time because,

you got up again,

and you limped away,

now i’m laying here

wondering why I didn’t do the same

You're here again
I don't know you
but every week you come
like clock work
you tick away.
You're alone
I can tell by the way you shift back and forth
you're uncomfortable
not content
That's why you're here
That's why I know you
and you think that knowing what you'll do next
every hour
every day
will bring you peace.
will make it stay.
but you're terribly mistaken.
So you're here again
shifting your weight
not knowing
that the only thing
that will save you from a meaningless fate
is a change in the space
some shifts in date
maybe once you break free from your own mind
you'll finally break free from this place

He says hes been dreaming about being in Hell
He's been crying out to God through the look in his eyes
and the painful sighs under his breathe
He holds her the same
Kisses her the same
But she's just a shadow of her former self.
The sun shines, but only casts doubt.

He says hes been dreaming about older days
and claims hes okay
but he stumbles on his words
and slurs his every move,
trying to cover his breathe with jokes and laughter.
But no matter how much he laughs
He can't escape this hell,
more visible and real with every tick of the clock.
You never know when it's going to stop.
tick
tock
tick
tock

He says hes been dreaming about better times
when they held each others hands,
not their lives.
when she used to talk and laugh and walk
when she used to cry and dance and wave from afar
and welcome him with a warm embrace.
and they would whisper and thank the lord for each other's return.
Now he never leaves.
Never sleeps.
Only breathes, when she breathes
Counts every rise in her chest
and remembers when he knew her best.

He says he's been dreaming about being in hell
and I believe him.

i know you would probably be better off with him
maybe it would be better off that way
i probably won't stop loving you though
i can imagine it
it would be like something from an indie movie
i would be with someone (maybe i would be alone)
you would be with him
couldn't tell we've both grown
we both look the same
you did something different with your hair
it's the first time you've done anything more than just style it differently
you've always been scared to change it
i would be the same
i've gained some weight
mostly in my gut (just like my dad)
but other than that
same style
same walk
same smile
we make eye contact
we both think the exact same thing

i see youre with him
a million things go through my head
i feel a sharp pain in my chest
i push the thoughts out

im happy for you
i truly am
we both give each other a faint smile
we both mean it
we both know
what we could have been
i've gotten over it
you've gotten over it
but there's no other way to explain it
we both just...
know
that i will never stop loving you
will you stop loving me?
i guess
it doesn't matter anymore

gone before
never after
always somewhere
in between
what you've always known
but never seen or heard
who knows what that means?
not me
it's up to you to decide.
maybe then you'll see.

I hope my Ex never finds my hellopoetry account