some days I feel fit for life
a real contender in the race for...
whatever the goal is.
the vacancy sign is buzzing on my forehead
trying to remember what i'm supposed to never forget
but too often i always forget.
obviously today is not a fit day
today is not a day that goes down in the histories of
elegant thoughts or grandeur revelations
flagrancy has its consistency basting at the bottom of my spine
who knew thoughts like this could still be mine
****.
i'm not supposed to think things like that

if i were projected onto a screen
mindful of the electrical patterns governing
where exactly my eyes have been hovering
the views expressed do not reflect the views of Jeff's heart
please, avert thine eyes and let go of your pride
if only it were that easy.

i'm pretty tired of this whole finding love thing
i think i'll just quit
i already stopped looking a while ago
hoping she would just find me,
but apparently thats not how its supposed to work.
maybe i'll find her
once i stop trying
but beliefs like that come from the same hollywood discount ******* bin
as fate, love at first sight and true soul mates.
seems like everyone buys from it, hoping to get a deal
but i think I'll pass
i want something real.
so rather than wait
i think im just going to throw hopes into the wind
and pray they come back around some day
and carry you on by.

you don’t know how special you are. you don’t understand yet. maybe one day. maybe one day you’ll understand the same thing he told me.
i was on my knees, skin bitten by the nipping freeze. the words couldn’t have been more clear. referring to the pain in my knees, it said, “this is the pain you cause me.” i wept.
but it wasn’t half a second before another voice kept me. held me. brought me back to life.
“No.”
“you are my child.” it said.
and as if to convince me, to make sure i knew, “you are my child, you are my child, you are my child. ” this time, I smiled.
i knew. and 3 times bigger, that night, my heart grew.
and now you, my friend, though half my age and entirely unique
are also
“his child”
so i choose to love you,
and encourage you
until you believe