You taught me that no one can be strong forever
We all have our breaking points
Even with you gone I feel less alone
But I hate that it took losing you to realize
Just how wrong I was about myself
And about everything else
I wish I could go back
I wish I could make everything alright
A treasured soul seems like such an unfair price to pay
For this broken ungrateful life I continue to lead
But life never promised to be just
Never swore to be fair
This is not fate
It can't be
Everything's just a draw of the cards
A flip of the coin
A roll of the dice
And we're betting high
Placing our lives on the line

You asked me what I see in him.
My mind had so much to say.

There is the way he wears my lipgloss after our good morning kiss.
When we drive for hours, not speaking a single word.
He knows me better than I know myself sometimes.
Every quirk and every flaw.
Every evening he holds me close.
He gives me hope.
I know I'm never alone.

All these things I wanted to say, but instead I simply shrugged.

Fate is a funny thing.
We are all simply chapters in a novel that it authors.
But sometimes even fate messes up.

Minor details that are overlooked can lead to the destruction of a carefully planned out plot.
And like dominos, that tiny, seemingly insignificant push changes the course of every other character in the book.

Every moment of every day things are being added to each chapter.
People, places, events being written out.
The empty pages filled with anything thats leftover.

Or maybe not.
Maybe this is the life that was in store for us the entire time.

She was only fifteen
So young and so naive
He promised her love
And every word she believed
She gave it all to him
Heart, body, mind, and soul
Only to have it thrown away so carelessly
By that boy who had promised her the world

Screams that go unheard
Day in and day out
When will this end?
Every nightmare of the devil
Placed along my shoulders
Is it too late to save me?
An innocence ripped apart
Burned to ash
Broken so far beyond repair
A justice impossible to find
The cold descends upon me
I see my shattered soul lying in wait among the shadows
Where have these angels been?
They left me here, stranded
They stole from me, my hope
Hid it away just as I am from the world
Fear, riddled through my bones
Hell here on Earth
Forty four days become the longest of lifetimes
A seemingly endless eternity conquered by pain
By heartache
By blood, freshly spilled
Drowning me
Caught between the world of the living and the dead
A terrible limbo
Relief no where in sight
Please, why won't you take away this pain?
Please, why won't you save me?
R.I.P. Junko Furuta

Four letters balance themselves, hanging precariously on the tip of my tongue.

A single syllable, firing in my mouth like a bottle rocket from tooth to roof.

Dare I say it?

One word that could make or break me.

Us.

I sigh a breath of air, full of silent screams. Begging myself not to.

One.

Two.

Three.  

Four little letters.

Love.



I love you.

You hide yourself among us
Just another face in the crowd
But we all know that you're so much more than that
You're a star that deserves nothing less than to shine your brightest
Others so dull in comparison
A hero standing before me
So far from my reach

Just one smile was all it took. My name on your lips and I was hooked.
Don't you want to know what its like to take a walk along the darker side of life?
You're driving me out of my mind. Don't make this any more complicated than it has to be.
I'm not going home alone tonight.

Tonight, just tonight, you can be my Mr. Right. You can take me high, give me wings, make me fly.
By morning we'll be strangers, just a misplaced name on a vague, hazy face.
But for now lets pretend that this is the night of our lives.

Sometimes, I just wish that I could forget who I am
Throw away who I'm supposed to be
I want to take for granted all the little things
Let my cares fly in the wind
I want to jump off this edge
Not bothering to check what is waiting for me at the bottom
Maybe I'll make it
Maybe I just don't care
Who knows what the future has in store
Nothing in this life is concrete
Nothing can be carved in stone

Like the dying leaves, these burdens fall to the ground
Bright golden fire raining down
Drifting through the wind
Soon to be buried by the all encompasing snow
Erasing away what lies beneath it

Spring is to come
A clean slate
A new beginning
There is hope that this cycle will be over
But it could never last

Like the seasons, I am forever changing
I accept sin and seek forgiveness
I grow like the tall oaks
Starting over when given the chance
But holding tight to the roots that have kept me here, grounded.

"Four leaf clovers and shooting stars are only going to get you so far.
Where will you be when Lady Luck leaves you stranded without a single prayer?
Be ready to kiss goodbye whatever it is you're risking.
Take a gamble and you're bound to lose it all."
Says the man who's already lost it all.

Somewhere along the line we lost ourselves to our own minds
Prisoners held hostage by our fears
Irrationalities we let control our lives
With every waking moment
Every final breath that's taken
Another piece of ourselves is wiped away
Eroded by our long since cried tears
Deep within our hearts
Don't you hear the sounds of battle?
Don't you feel this beast in your bones?
Its clawing and kicking
Tearing its way out
Boiling beneath my skin
Just dying to escape

Press my pen to this blank canvas.
Let the words flow out like the blood of a freshly opened wound.
Just cut a little deeper, dig a little further.
Tap into a passion, raw and uncut.
Don't think. Just feel.

I've got this pistol to my temple
Loaded with memories of you
My finger is itching towards the trigger
And you're begging me to shoot
So send me to hell
Bury me six feet underground
Fill your vacant heart with my tears of sorrow
The last I'll ever cry for you
Don't look away now
Watch the sun set in my eyes
Know that you're the reason for this
There is no easier path out
This is the only way you taught me how
With a final shuddering breath
The devil takes my soul and carries me off
Into a place
A place I want to be
Someday soon, I am sure
We will meet again
You'll join me as we dance our way
Into an eternity
From which, you can't escape

I glance around the dinner table. Illuminated by the soft glow of candles are the faces of my family. Through thick and thin, this blood runs forever deep. Each pair of eyes see through a window of pain, loss and betrayal. Each spirit forced to carry burdens much to heavy to bear alone. Yet here we sit. Smiles on our faces, laughter in our hearts. If this isn't hope then I don't know what is.

Everything about you is a masterpiece.
From your single dimple to your knobby knees. Infectious laughter like a cool autumn breeze.
Even those bushy eyebrows and that freckled skin which burns far too easily under the hot July sun.
The way your soft golden locks spill over your shoulders, down your back and to your waist.
Its simply breathtaking.
I love everything about you. From your head down to your toes.
Your imperfections are what make you perfect. I wouldn't change a thing.
Everything about you is a masterpiece.