Jay - Hello Poetry

Jay Sep 2013

I am too sad to write about you
I try to articulate my feelings
On how you left
On how you left after saying
So many beautiful things
You spoke of love and forever
But my mind keeps stumbling
And cycling
Running over and over those few moments
"You're the stain
on my favorite shirt--"
No I can't it's not right
You made my heart full and happy
Seconds before watching it
Fall and shatter
"I fell in love with---"
That's not it either
You broke my mind
This sadness reaches so deep
How am I supposed to overcome it
When I can't even get out
What it feels like
There are thoughts
Running marathons
Around and around and around
"Your love was so simple--"
Stop
Scribble out
Erase
Start over
That's not it either
What is it?
What did you do
In such a short time
That impacted me so deeply
It broke my mind

Jay Aug 2013

does she?

i lay awake thinking about you
are you thinking about me?
i havent seen you in a long time
have you moved on with someone?
are you falling in love again?
do you still keep the skeletons in your closet
are you still scared of the monsters
have you found someone else
to calm you when you're out of your mind
to call you perfect
when there are tears streaming down your face
and blood soaking the sheets
does she love you for you?
does she understand your scars?
i hope you have found someone
and i hope that she is wonderful

Jay Aug 2013

drunk ink

there was a boy
who tattooed my heart
on his finger in green
when he was drunk
and we were both lonely
but when we grew sober
he decided my eyes were
too sad to look at
and my heart
too heavy to love
but my heart remains
on the inside of his finger
and he is left
with all the memories
and mistakes

Jay Aug 2013

home

this city
smells of
cheap perfume
bad habits
long nights
stale beer
and regret
the grunge
the people
tell us the story
of creation
and destruction
teaching people
how to be
human

Jay Aug 2013

thoughts of you

Talking to you
kills me inside.
There are
so many unsaid feelings
keeping us from moving on.
I want to kiss you
all night, every night.
I dream
about your arms
around me
and the curve of your lips
when you kiss me.
When I close my eyes,
I see your face.
it makes me wonder,
Do you feel the same?
Do you dream of kissing me
every night?
Or see me
everywhere you look?
I just hope I'm not
haunting you
like you are me.
It took
only a few kisses
for you to steal my affection.
Just one hug
before I became jealous
of everyone that has ever hugged you.
I wonder,
is it the same for you?
Does your heart ache
when I whisper "I miss you"
because mine is
tearing apart
my chest.

Jay Jul 2013

Bruises

Bruised knuckles
Swollen eyes
Tears that will never dry
From fights never won
Just fought
Our blood spilled
And skin ripped
Bodies became ruined
In our effort
To be loved

Jay Jul 2013

Seasons of love

I met a boy last summer
He said all the right things
And loved me in all the ways I wanted
When fall came
And the weather turned cold
It wasn't me who kept him warm
She did
So I fell out of love while he fell in
With someone else
The same boy of the summer
Came back in the winter
His smile was different
And his eyes were unfamiliar
He made me feel empty and whole
His words were unforgiving
But he kissed like an angel
We fell in a different kind of love
I'm not sure if it was love at all
We fell out of love again in the spring
Right before summer
I stopped believing in love
It was a thing of fairytales
For princes and princesses
Not for girls like me
Who don't wear dresses
Or say please
But I met another boy this summer
He didn't say the right things
His hugs were awkward
But his kisses sweet
It wasn't love
But I wasn't looking for love
He made me feel right
And that's all I asked for
but his goodbye tasted like 'I love you'
and it broke my heart just a little
when the boy of the summer left for the fall
I ended up wandering through the days
I counted the leaves that had turned
and didn't look for anyone to care
but then there came him
his love popped into existence
like a lightbulb being turned on in the dark
and it left just as fast
for he knew I could never love him
but he loved me enough for the both of us
and would whisper to me that it's ok if I break his heart
I would get drunk and he couldn't understand why
I was never strong enough
to hold onto love
my hands were too small
and his expectations too big
boy of the fall had fallen too hard
for a girl who would always be in love
with her first summer
then he came back like a hurricane
reminding me what falling is like
his kisses tasted like natural disasters
and his eyes were the sky after a storm
he became the boy of the spring
and the summer
and the fall
and the winter
and many seasons to come

— The End —