It’s humorous the way you look at me, when I tell you I’m gay.
I’ve never been more bemused;
at how someone can be so egotistical,
or look so bafflingly confused.

You spent all night chatting merrily,
yet body language accounts for much more.
When I told you those two simple words,
your jaw almost hit the floor.

You told me about your ex-girlfriend,
I really don’t understand why
because at the time you brought it up,
I was talking about my grandad’s glass eye.

I consciously see you are flirting
as the topics of *** and love I swerve;
after I told you I was in a relationship,
you’re still being an absolute perve.

After half an hour of almost falling asleep,
these topics won’t seem to go away,
I tell you the lady with me is my partner
and automatically your eyes start to stray.

But not before you start to ask
the most inappropriate form of a question,
to which I’ve heard a dozen times
and still lacking any discretion.

To give you a laugh I’ll share a few.
‘How do you have ***?’
‘Which one of you is the man?’
‘Have you ever gone with a boy?’
To be honest my dear chap, with your incompetent attitude,
I’d rather use a toy.

It leaves me feeling a little dejected,
that we don’t live in a world
where being gay is totally accepted,
or if it is accepted,
****** privacy is not respected.

So, to you dear boy I wave goodbye,
I think the atmosphere has dried;
but don’t worry, I don’t think too highly of myself,
the only thing that’s hurt is your pride.