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366 · Mar 2018
the pit
nose diving into the tunnel again
I cannot think
my mind is full of confusion
my heart begins to sink
thinking? too much effort
desiring sleep, night and day
it refuses to go it only lightens
this dark debilitating lethargy
laughter jarred and singing grates
how I long to live with me.
mistakes I make (however small)
triggers the anger inside me off
slight disappointments knock me off balance
and bury me deeper into the trough.
like an immature foetus
I lie between my future and past
between the things I do and do not understand
seeing the present as a shadow past
it isn't a comfortable situation
my whole being is in a mess
suffering blinding  enveloping
overwhelming  incompleteness
226 · Dec 2016
Untitled
ALONE

Alone, no noise
Just peace and quiet
No eyes to peer upon my diet.
No comments on the way I act
No question as to what is fact.
No talk of any kind
To stimulate my empty mind
No words expressed for such a while,
No nods, no frowns, no laughs, no smiles.
No questions, fights, not even a row
Why? No one ever sees me now



Feelings

Pain and torture begin to start
Now my heart is torn apart
Nobody knows I cannot see
When the blackness is surrounding me.
No place to run and hide
Peace of mind I’ll never find.
All around is empty place
Nowhere to find a happy place
Locked inside my prison cell
Will always be a living hell



WHEN

When I reached out to end my life
You comforted me in my strife
When my faith withered and died
You stood by me and also cried.
When I felt that my life was at an end
My actions you lovingly did defend
When I discovered that I loved you so much
My heart longed for your delicate touch
Then I handed over the lock and key
When you opened up my heart
I didn’t know that you would soon depart
When I began to put my trust in you.
When the barriers began to crumble
Our lives together also crumbled
When I lowered all pretence
I should have had more sense.
When our future seemed so clear
You kicked me up the rear
When I finally gave in
You dumped me in the litter bin
You never really love me
I was the laughing stock to see
When I discovered that hurtful lie
I wanted to go around and hide
I wanted to go anyway and die
When will you tell me why did it?
The reasons you give just don’t fit
When will I begin to let go of this hurt?
And leave behind all the dirt

WILL YOU LOVE ME?

Will you love me?
Just for a wee while
I want you
And your cute smile
I want you to love
To help and to care
And if I need you
I want you there
At work I see you
But you turn uyour back
The adys seem so long
The nights so black
The future seems bleak
What will my lie be
Just one questions
Will you love me??

RAINBOW

RED colour of daner and strif
Yet I the Lord will always be in your life

ORANGE the coulour of the sunh shining bright
You as a christian walk in the light
YELLOW the colour of each grain of sand
Spread my word across all the land
GREEN the colour of grass in the field
BLUE
The colour of darkness and
******those around you that jesus cares
VIOLETS the colour of a prerry flower
Follow me and I will give you power
202 · Dec 2016
AM I?
I am alive (or so I'm told)
I am never hot i'm always cold.
I drink the tea and eat the food
I hate my everchanging mood.
I stop the tears force the smile
I hate myself i'm truly vile!!
i do not fit the mould
I am alive (or so i'm told)
168 · Dec 2016
Untitled
ALONE

Alone, no noise
Just peace and quiet
No eyes to peer upon my diet.
No comments on the way I act
No question as to what is fact.
No talk of any kind
To stimulate my empty mind
No words expressed for such a while,
No nods, no frowns, no laughs, no smiles.
No questions, fights, not even a row
Why? No one ever sees me now



Feelings

Pain and torture begin to start
Now my heart is torn apart
Nobody knows I cannot see
When the blackness is surrounding me.
No place to run and hide
Peace of mind I’ll never find.
All around is empty place
Nowhere to find a happy place
Locked inside my prison cell
Will always be a living hell



WHEN

When I reached out to end my life
You comforted me in my strife
When my faith withered and died
You stood by me and also cried.
When I felt that my life was at an end
My actions you lovingly did defend
When I discovered that I loved you so much
My heart longed for your delicate touch
Then I handed over the lock and key
When you opened up my heart
I didn’t know that you would soon depart
When I began to put my trust in you.
When the barriers began to crumble
Our lives together also crumbled
When I lowered all pretence
I should have had more sense.
When our future seemed so clear
You kicked me up the rear
When I finally gave in
You dumped me in the litter bin
You never really love me
I was the laughing stock to see
When I discovered that hurtful lie
I wanted to go around and hide
I wanted to go anyway and die
When will you tell me why did it?
The reasons you give just don’t fit
When will I begin to let go of this hurt?
And leave behind all the dirt

WILL YOU LOVE ME?

Will you love me?
Just for a wee while
I want you
And your cute smile
I want you to love
To help and to care
And if I need you
I want you there
At work I see you
But you turn uyour back
The adys seem so long
The nights so black
The future seems bleak
What will my lie be
Just one questions
Will you love me??

RAINBOW

RED colour of daner and strif
Yet I the Lord will always be in your life

ORANGE the coulour of the sunh shining bright
You as a christian walk in the light
YELLOW the colour of each grain of sand
Spread my word across all the land
GREEN the colour of grass in the field
BLUE
The colour of darkness and
******those around you that jesus cares
VIOLETS the colour of a prerry flower
Follow me and I will give you power

— The End —