Bottle of fire
You tickle my gut
Nothing but good news
Singing to bouncing words
I've drowned to the morbid and macabre
God knows I've touched the floor
Though the ocean receives me
I want more

I want

Your soft firm touch
The gentle rush
Love like ascension, where we all drown in sweet spirits
Lonely no more against the wolves
In warm firelight

End of the line
We just trade our bus
Where before we'd lie
Like dead leaves in the dirt
Don't get me wrong we're lost but acting sure
It's better than nothing
Of you, in dark, I implore
Let us sing

I want
I want

Whoa,
(Allies of mine close in the night)
I want
(What was once had, lost by all of us)
Whoa,
(Our knives ignite with healing light)
I want
(Slipping days misplaced by all of us)
Sipping drinks with the old ghosts finally
(Eating pasts without comparison)
Without casting what we had in contrast

I want this
To last
I want this
To last

If I were your old flames
Would both legs and your heart fall open now?
You disregard me.
So of heat and foreign bodies
I'll take your words for gold
And be cut loose
On the run I go

Lariat still worn of course
In ill hope you come around
But I hope
They wreck me
Before you do

Fragile like soft rotted wood
Recept still not understood
Almost a quarter of a hundred on
More setting fires more feral and blind than ever, I'm endlessly taking the endless life
Ever vibrating through me
Some say it's cynicism build-up pressuring away young naive eyes, I maybe take the knife
Because I dream pain relief
Remembering what's good that's come before

Epsom salts for weary ghosts
Allow me to play the host
Kneading energy into carrion
Believing the love I have to spend is best spent on what is gone that I can't quantify
Umbra inside reaping me
To ends my means can no longer afford all day long living under night, I maybe hate the light
Comfort to others while weak
Offering peace till the slamming of doors and I slammed my door

Maybe I'm hopeless, Maybe I've locked it out
Every ounce of me preaching so devout
All of these lies sung from my poison mouth?
Garnishing with flourished words
All moments of nurtured hurt
I'm taming darkness to commiserate with peers about the loss of gain I could commemorate

No longer I'll tame what no longer remains
What ever the pain rusts I've divined I'll
Trust the lifting energy like it's evolving me into my god

For now

Sometimes (Often)
People (Men)
On social networking (Dating)
Websites
Genuinely scare me

The thing is, though
--and it's a good thing--
is that when people contact you first
it's a reverse book-by-cover scenario
so my judgment is justified and there's nothing to feel bad about

"i leik to getta no you betta mmmmmmmyeah fkin hottie"
He says, so I go and look at his pictures
Suspicion confirmed
He says on his profile he likes gettin nekkid
Stays up late at night
He says his pad is so cool he parties all the time
Such frightening size
He looks like he could be on the cover of an Aryan prison gang documentary

If this situation were bottom to top and not top to bottom
then I might feel bad but
when you lay your cards
out first and eager
and you scare the **** out of me
I don't feel so bad

I can't recall the last time I felt excited
There should be moments there
Instead it's
Phantom pain
The greatness of elation
escapes chase of pumping veins
Instead it's
Only pain
I wish it would rain

Blue light seeps in while water pounds
Where I've cut the power where
Nothing lives
Except strange
Patterns endlessly dreamed up
warming mortal meat in vain
Instead their
presence makes
what hope remains just
drain

Might dreams be reprieve from apathy or worse?
Maybe so but never for me
I know it sounds morose but think
The singer of songs finds unanimous love and is warm to the core
by what the crowd brings
When the monitors die and the singer outside gets shot through the teeth
the dream is a lie and we all nod like
"Well it had to happen sooner or later"
Every time life parts hiding eyes
I wake into nightmare

Digging deeper
Ebony points in slow descent
from the vacuum of heaven
peek from blackness
No eyes, no mouth,
Still glaring, still speaking
the feelings evaded for so long
and now with unfettered resolve
twisted spires come drilling down
to find the Earth, after my bones
after my tightening skin
If my body explodes and I soak the ground
may the ignored questions of the heart be found
in blood, when you've built your home
with great intention but holes all over,
when it's spilling down the trembling walls
If my body returns to the hungry earth
your best kept book means nothing,
means nothing

I can sleep well in your nightstand