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Jaymisun Kearney Nov 2013
Giving up
Singing
nestled on the cliff side
grass meets **** like the hand's slap I never got
but always wanted
Sitting
wakeful for the sunset
To never rest is to. . .

Birds' wings call me, gulls' calls ease me
There's beer in the city, there's beauty in the city, there's company in the city

The first three things on a stretching list of happiness
found here as well
Jaymisun Kearney Nov 2013
Ice cream from the box
close to 3 a.m.
means we're doing it again
we're burning the blades
crystallize your life like this

When flames die and we arrive
in this moment
what will we have?

Big screen on and bright
each night the same games
distract from how our lives played
each thought the other
resigned design and instead

Stitched
What was wanted that no one wanted

When flames die and we arrive
in this moment
what will we have?
When flames die can we deny
the dreams we dreamed
or will we turn
turn and sleep?
Jaymisun Kearney Nov 2013
You don't like Clerks like I do.
You don't appreciate AFI like I do.
You don't like Adventure Time as much as I do.
You don't agree with me when I rave about awesome uses of the uncanny.
Speaking of uncanny, you don't like David Lynch movies the way I do.
You definitely didn't love Blue Velvet the way I love it.
You hated that movie.
You don't like crowded public places like I do.
Crowded places give you panic attacks.
A lot of things give you panic attacks.
You're anxious just as much as I am,
but about entirely different things,
and so it's very frustrating.
You like Super Smash Bros.
You like Super Smash Bros. more than you like Street Fighter.
I don't even know if you like Street Fighter at all.
You don't like fitness like I do.
You don't like martial arts like I do.
You don't want to do active things very often.
You don't like the same food I like.
You don't like to cook like I do.
You don't like to do what I like to do in bed.

When you do the things that you do, you do them genuinely and with an impassioned scowl I don't think you'd appreciate if you could see it from the outside.
When you do what you do, you define yourself, and your definition caught me at first -- then waned and does wane -- and catches me now, usually when I'm absolutely certain there's no more left to share.
When you do the things you do, I spectate, never letting on, that I'm entertained so much I want a bowl of popcorn and the lights dimmed.

Agreement means little when you do the things you do.
The similarity we do share is the orb in the heart of our human cellars.
We both know how badly our moms messed up.
I couldn't ask for anything more.

I love you.
Jaymisun Kearney Oct 2013
Fire
There's no hiding from pain
you're due. Your worst mistake to this day has been running
Pockets raining change and names
I watched you running
Fire
Open the wound ignored,
you knew would mend but ran just before salvation. Me?
I
Watched you running
I
Could only watch you run away

Little means anything anymore, now that it's known that you're doing well
Caught in the frame you left me inside, I rest now with gravestones
And in smoke
Imagination sets in as rain washes away soft spoken days we never wrote

Cold
To rectify mistakes
You said, "Your medicine's the same thing I've been taking."
Offered ears that I once gave
I gave up taking
Cold
Burns just as badly
when left to freeze instead of thawing, kept within wings
I
Gave up taking
I
Played it off, silently screaming

Never mind an antidote
Wild necrosis covers
what's left of trees
leaving black bones to tainted earth
Jaymisun Kearney Oct 2013
Once more return to the place of hate, hot with the warmth of the womb still after decades, receding like always into the presumed delirium held in that head of yours--but it's both the head and the heart that have ever boiled blood and pried tears and forced seclusion and withdrawal, and continue. Continue through the threshold keeping hidden decay at bay from the world of the waking, unnatural wooden floors keeping hidden the past inefficiency of care in your wrinkled hands, failing to the strength of the stench filling each passage and room in mist. I'm feeling now the way I felt for every instance within the walls. Towering over me when I close my eyes is the memory of the life I somehow saved and though living thoroughly broken beyond conventional means of disrepair, the despair now pales to the nightmare pressed angrily into the backsides of these eyelids. Days like print turned burning script against the black hole that might otherwise be home and sanctuary and ward to the intricate and frightful realities of the outer world, days that wind away and then back in dead drop and ascent that has not yet failed repetition, because of an inability to nurture nature that stemmed more from apathy and disinterest than any real shortcoming. Each time the world begins to end with the potential crashing sound of bone and flesh driving through the depths of the vacuum to pass through solid asphalt and concrete, I wake and the world flips. The trip to your bedroom sheds light on all the others, where once slept two souls aimless and needy, now sleeps decay that you began breeding from the spores formed in their lungs. Cats eyes like lightning slice through the mind as I wander your dark halls to the end where I myself fail at opening the door. I can't breathe. I can't look. I leave. There are things worse than the fragments of mind I clutch desperately as blankets under the Winter sky. What waits looks bad but I'll go if it's smiling or screaming. You. You can die in your numbered hole.
Jaymisun Kearney Oct 2013
A sliver of light for all the times that trouble turned your world
A sliver of light through mist that left your whole story untold
A sliver of light means illumination, even frail, and pale, and otherwise weak
And any friends you've lost may come again
And if you let the loss break you, you'll find it much worse
You'll find it much, much worse
Hold strong and find solace in distraction
I know you're lost and pained -- we're both pained
If it's an advocate you need, I'll speak
If it's a guard you want -- or need -- I'll be your sentinel
A sliver of light for you in doom so as to see beyond the strife
The struggle is lost in faith of better company
We explorers, we regard the grace in open arms
Quite highly
Jaymisun Kearney Oct 2013
Who found who?
You found me lone and consumed in lamp light
You, inside and sealed
You, like me, rapt at distance
Far away, I heard you say through singsong wailing
"Survival seems, through planes of grey, ever fruitless"
"Though listen closely and I will sow this haven within"
To your call
I came crawling

And living now, the days go while
Inking weakly escapes
In the same breath you breathed for me
Re-breathing
These days when I dissociate
I return safely and
Your cry provides the will that I

Keep breathing
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