the phone rings,
**** its already late
I dress up past, I grab my things
rushing out through the gate

it was a grey rainy day,
the shoe lace was untied.
stepping on the puddles through the alleyway
I smelt the leftovers cornered to be putrefied
in the distance i heard the foghorn bray
and then suddenly the ipod died,
it wasn't the slightest idea of my heyday
and so it made me stupefied.

the alley never seem to end.
for once I was hoping for a commotion.
and then it made a slight bend
and a shadow appeared at the cross section.
everything got a trascend blend
looked like life moved ahead in a slow motion.

the figure was human like
and with each tick it moved slowly-closer.
my body was abruptly covered with spike,
as the motion became tenser.
the cold hit me like a pike,
yet my mind said he was just a bypasser.

I knew I shouldn't have been there.
I stared the figure drenched in the rain.
all I wanted to do now was run anywhere
before it blew away my brain.

before I could make my escape
he cought me by my arm.

his eyes were cold and senseless
but his hands felt delicate.
for a seond life became aimless
as I became his captivate.
his charm was flawless
his beauty was the least I could appreciate.

he suddenly let go of me
I stared into his eyes and realized I must leave
I turned around and made my move away......




TO BE CONTINUED...

its when I feel numb,
its when I feel the void,
things just keep coming and going,
but nothing draws my attention.

I stand in the midst of this staircase,
I climb each step but the end never comes.
I feel piqued,
I feel stressed.

many climb and reach the end,
but my feet just seem to cling,
not make a single move.

giving up, I climb down.
tears role down my cheeks.
why after being surrounded by so many entites
I am still alone.
why after struggling so much,
I'm not able to make it.
why do I miss that propel-action

then I close my eyes and wish,
I think.

I dream of this place,
where love is given more respect than lust.
a place where kindness and simplicity is a way of life.
a place where we focus on learning and not competing.

a place where rain is welcomed with arms wide open
and not walked against.

where a hug from a loved one
makes you forget all those sorrows and tears.
where joy is achieved in others' smiles.

when people around you make you laugh
and make you smile.
and when you are given petit surprises
wrapped with lots of love.

somewhere where I am understood,
somewhere where I am loved,
somehow I am made strong..

and then I open my eyes
and in a flash everything vanishes.

but just the thought of it
gives me that joy
and the hope
and makes it my driving force
and a reason to go ahead in life...

what's life without inspirations
what's life without benevolence

With each day passing my believe in this becomes stronger ........


the clouds hold their rain
the clowns, their smile
the wave from the mountain
brings the river's smell
the taiga grasses stop their sway
the fields grow no more
all they wait for is the voice of the unsaid

the grey roads hide their faces beneath
the betrayer made the confession
the killer cried of guilt
the orphans did have that smile
the blind saw the music live
the artist drew his first piece
the man of power became the man of people
for all these heard the voice of the unsaid

listen to your heart
its silent beating
the scenes behind your closed eyes
will show you the way out
your mind, your heart
will
find the need of the need.
the voice of the unsaid
lies within you
but will reach you
only when you want to hear it out.....

Its always hard to write something you've never felt before .... no wonder I don't write such things,But I always wanted to, so here it is .... enjoy reading it .... and who it is for ??? well no one, no one for now .... :D... thanks to Rasmus, I was listening to their song "dancer in the dark" ... and then I thought of writing about my dancer in the dark, but these words are totally different form their song ...well bottom line, I love living in a dream world of my own ....where things are always better than they actually are ....

Peeping through that hole
I saw him waiting.
His face said it all,
The night made it show me.
The bitter sweet face,
Killing every breath I take.
He was the dancer in the dark.

I stepped out in the moonlight.
All I knew now,
All I saw now,
Was him,
The dancer in the dark.


A tear rolled down my eye,
A smile curled on my face.
They made him shimmer,
The eyes glitter, hair flicker.
Darkness of the night no longer existed,
Because I was with,
The dancer in the dark.

Standing apart, in utter stillness,
None could feel a thing.
There was no need,
His eyes said it all,
All that I wanted to hear,
That he never could say
For all he was the dancer in the dark....

His presence made me love the nights.
They all seemed so pleasant,
But cold.
Strange, is how I felt it.
He made it look stranger.
The dancer in the dark.

My life stuck to his,
Our lives ran together,
The heavens fell upon us,
Trying to take a step closer,
Each seeming like a mile long.
The looks came closer, and closer, and closer ...

All I saw now were his sparkling blue eyes.
Eyes that wanted to cry,
Cry of happiness and out of love.
He touched my face,
The hands feeling so cold,
The face running warm.
He made me want
The dancer in the dark.

The wind blew his hair,
The rain never felt so lovely before.
Every drop bringing
A sense of joy......

Wanting the time to stay still
Wait there, stay there forever.
Nothing should change,
Nothing should move.
Never have I been so happy before,
All I knew then was that I loved him
The dancer in the dark .....

A romantic one, a girl wrote for the boy she loved. I am pretending to be one. its hard, its diffitcult, the feelings are just so hard to put in words ...love can give you the biggest joy of the world and also the saddest moments of life. its better we all stay away from it. It just doesn't make any sense to be in love right now.




with every breath I took
I fell in love with you even more
each word you said
love just sprinkled out for me
it made my heart skip a beat
never had I thought
you'd love me so much
its not the way romeo loved juliet
they died wanting to be with each other
no
we lived for each other, with each other
our happiness, our endless love,
will never let us die

no corner of my heart
is left without your love
no space in my mind
not filled eith your thoughts
never have I felt so beautiful before

you are the jewel of my eye
it shines forever
you are the smell of the roses
I'm always so addicted to
you are the ocean so fresh and clear
my faith lies within you
you the mighty strong mountain
always there to protect me

I wrote your name on the sky
but the wind blew it off
I wrote your name on the samd
the sea erased it
I wrote your name on my heart
and its here to stay forever

I'll love you all day and night
I'll love you till the land meets the sky
I'll love you till my last breath
I'll love you till I won't be dead
I'll love you like the endless ocean
I'll love you to be yours forever

I treasure your love for me
from the very cell of my soul
parting from you
I can't think of
even in my worst nightmares ....

Its time to write something new.
Its time for me to move on.
Step up
Clear the rest.
Its time for me to
Make my world come to me.

I wait for a second
To think of what I did.
Never did I think of wrong or right.
All I thought was what others want.
All I thought was what I want.
Under the covers of this bright mind,
Lies the sly me,
Sometimes unable to do what I think.

Sometimes I just run through old books,
Old drawers.
Always in a search of a new.
Always finding something,
Thats always been hidden.
I get desperate
When I can't.

The people I've been with,
The people I know,
The old faces flash by,
Leaving behind the horrible thoughts.
I feel like shooting these thoughts out,
Before they actually **** me.
The restlessness of achieving something happy,
Just keeps growing in me day by day.

I live on a few other lives,
But sometimes I can't get enough,
Sometimes I just feel I had more lives
Attached to mine.
The truth bites me hard.
But its something I just can't change,
Its something that has been planned for me.

Its like a crossword.
Each word crosses the other,
Uses the other,
To become something meaningful.
But always takes the credit,
Without a single word of appreciation.

Thats how the world has become today.
Careless, insensitive, hard and emotionless;
Those like me are hard to survive long.
If I will I won't be the same person.
I see that I'm losing myself now,
The flesh just tears off my body.

Is it just a thought?
Or a reality I don't want to face?
Are these the words of the wise?
Or am I imagining them?
I feel like running away!
But thats not what I want to do....
I want to change things,
Make them work the way I want,
Make some suffer and some happy.

Trying to wake up to things
Before its too late.

Its has now become a part me, such a part that I can't seperate from myself.


my mind takes a turn
everytime the thought flashes
in my head.
my heart jumps a beat
everytime you show me the pain.
the day lives alive again
when the end starts to begin.

the clouds gather around me
choking me, unable to breathe.
the wind blows fast beside me
freezing every drop of my soul.
the mirage of the unfaithful
betrays the real me.

the mountains so high
make me want to reach them, but can't.
the sand in the desert, covers
letting me see nothing,
nothing at all....

The word happiness
is now a dream,
which seems to be incomplete forever.
It only gives my dead face,
a sharp spark.

the wise speak of war and peace.
I not being wise,
think of hatred and love.
the voices all buzz around,
nothing sounding familiar,
nothing sounding clear.

why do,
people with hearts of glass
throw stones at other's.
my love for them
has come to an end.
I feel sorry and sad both.

I sometimes find
the dark brown eyes,
watching straight upon the evil doer.
and watching the same way
at me.

my heart goes blind,
for I don't want to see
or feel anymore.
the truth is strange, but
now its here to stay forever...

Its dark outside again,
no stars to twinkle,
no moon to shine upon,
the stillness
blows my mind off.

the roads are empty,
the buildings deserted,
seeming like I alone stand here
in the midst of nothingness.

the breath stays in me
it doesn't die
nor does it let me live
the things are crazy.

but I wait for the light to come.
it couldn't break my faith,
my belief.
I see it coming
from that far away end, smiling
to make tomorrow a better day for me
I pray for it to last forever .....

for ... I really don't know who..

I dream of this place
Its not dark, gothic or wiccan
its pretty and colourful and above all
full of love.

you showed me this place
your believes make me believe
in the existence of love
in the existence of beauty
even in the ugliest things.

you told me
the night does not bring darkness
it brings the twinkling stars
and the moonlight
it is marked by the sensational dusk
and ended ny the loving dawn
it brings the cool dew
the time when the tired flowers sleep
you made me believe the night is beautiful.

you told me
the fire is not dangerous
it is what gives warmth
the clutching sounds
are the sounds of excitement
the sound of adventure
which make you live life to the fullest
you made me believe the fire is beautiful.

you told me
nightmares are not scary.
they are what encourage you
to do your best
to fight your fears
to forget the unwanted
and remember what is needed the most
you made me believe that nightmares are beautiful.

you told me
words are strong weapons
they can make an enemy a friend
and a friend an enemy
its like a game
the best one wins the hearts of others
you made me believe that I have beautiful words.

you told me
friendship is about trust
its like the backbone
once destroyed can never be regained
its the most precious gift
you made me believe that I am a true friend.


you make me shine
you make me want to be me
you made me love myself
you taught me how to see the world
through the eyes of those who have nothing
then you realise how precious things are
how precious people are.

your presence made me love you
your absence made me miss you

when you hide I find
when you don't say a word I understand
I read the eyes ...

I don't know what to call you
the relation has no name
and never will it.

just be with me
and I'll be with you
till we can be with each other.

well this was the most difficult to write... something I've never felt before..
its hard to pen it down...

everytime I sit back and think about it
it reminds me about the beautiful summer days,
children running here and there,
hand in hand we walked about on the cool grass
never did we look at each other,
it made it just like heaven
heaven I never saw before,
heaven for which I was ready to die,
heaven which had you and only you

I collect those pieces of hope
and together we build a dream
a dream on which we fly away from this world
to a world of our own

I collect those pieces of heart
and together we build life
life which helped me breathe you
to get me through each day alive

I collect those pieces of petals
and together we build a flower
flower which helps me find you
evertime I remember you

but
now I fall down
I can't find those pieces anymore,
the heaven disappears,
your thoughts die
the memories get hazzy
I see you moving away
but can't follow you
my feet have stopped
you hide behind the horizon

let me find you
help me be with you
now and forever...

I feel it...
I feel it deep inside me..
The touch so simmed..
So pleasant...
Just one look.. and tears come in my eyes
They hated to see him like this
They saw the awkward helpnessless present..
It can't be changed
Nothing can be..
"Why do you have to go there..
Why do you have to leave me..
Why can't you stay here close to me"
I asked him
His eyes tried to tell me
His touch tried to sooth me
But nothing could reach my ears
And nothing could I feel...
All that I saw was he was gone

He fought
He became the saviour of everyone's life
Mine too
But he died on the front
All it took was
One bullet
To just pierce through his heart
Letting out the pain..
I felt..

He fell on the ground
Left me alone with all those pleasant memories
Which were buried with him
After all this
All that I thought of was
That I was proud be in love with an army man
A man of substance.