The buildings around me
                    stack up like stairs.
             Then I think, "Could it be?"
and look around for someone who cares.
                 When I realize that there's no one,
                           I look again at the stacking buildings.
                                  Overcomming me is the need to run.
                                                I find myself at the first stair, singing,
                                                                    "Oh, how wonderful is it all!"
                                  And off I go...running up the building-composed staircase
                                                                                                                                   until,
                                                                                                                                   at last,
                                                                                                                                       I
                                                                                                                                     fall.

Turning, turning,
I hate you.
Twisting, twisting,
I hate you.

Turning and twisting
my mind is retching.
My body is cringing
with how you're always watching.

I hate you.
I hate you.
Turning and twisting,
I feel like puking.

My heart is stopping
from my hate for you.
I feel like I'm dying
because I hate you.

I hate you.
Stop watching.
I hate you.
Stop watching!

It really does hurt me
To have you leave in such a hurry.
But I have no choice in the matter
So go on and scatter.

I don't want you to leave;
My heart won't be relieved.
But I sacrificed my love for you.
Unfortunately, it is true.

It pains my heart
That I'm forcing us apart.
I have to unlove you;
It's difficult to do.

It makes me cry,
But I'm forced to try.
I'm shoving you out
No matter how I grieve and pout.

It really does hurt me
To have you leave in such a hurry.
It's difficult to do;
But I sacrificed my love for you.
Unfortunately, it's true -
But I'm forced to unlove you.

Late in the dark night,
with the stars a-light,
away from the freights
of everyday life,
I pretend I might
be with you tonight.

F'only you could see
the reason I recede.
Please understand me.
I internally
struggle to out speak.
Know why this must be.

My soul is tortured.
Now as I muster
strength to not falter.
But I much rather
be here together
and love forever.

Late in the dark night,
with the stars a-light,
away from the freights
of everyday life,
I pretend you might
fall for me tonight.

Those are pretty words
From someone not hurt before.
My heart had turned sour,
Broken hearts occurred.

How can I let myself trust
again, if I feel I must,
When love has done nothing but rust
away my feelings of lust?

You stand before me a blank.
Glass made of sand.
Clearly you come again
asking for my hand.

Those are some pretty words
Coming from someone not hurt before.

And yet,
when you are,
it is to no avail,
as you will not sail,
as unfar
as I am, I bet.

Even if I say it,
You wouldn't react.
That's because you're
An apathetic robot.

Even if I say it,
You wouldn't care.
That's because you're
A heartless mannequin.

Even if I say it.
Even if I say that I love you.
Even if I say that I miss you.
You wouldn't react or care.


Because that's just how you are.

The idea of losing you
was not something I fathomed
To be difficult.  I pursue
The task and become regretful.

For the idea became real,
and I found myself all alone.
Time is something I would make still,
and steal from the Father.

All in the hopes of keeping the,
memories of you in my head.
Reliving those days with karma
awaiting me when time starts up.

And because I'm only human,
my grip on time did not last.
And you disappeared.  So I ran
until I realized you've died.

This heart shaped box of mine,
So warm, so tender, so fragile.

Off it goes, into the fire.

Ash, ash, ash.  Collect them in a heart shaped box.

Off the ashes go, pouring down the cliff.

Into the ocean, ocean, ocean.  Caught in the wind.  Flying away.

Goodbye, my addiction.
Goodbye, my heart.
Goodbye, my love.

Those blue eyes bore into my heart like the icy ocean against the rocky land.
The blood spills out as you do, leaving me with nothing but emotions I do not want, do not need.
That beautiful mind of yours far exceeds the capacity of mine.
The blood spills out as you contradict and challenge my character.

You make me tremble in fear, for I do not want any of this, yet I do.
You make my heart beat sporadically, for I don't know how else to react when I see you.
You make my hands shake as I take up my scalpel and make a cut. Again, the blood pours.
You make me sick with wretched self-consciousness.

And yet I cannot help but wonder how it would feel to kiss those hard lips of yours.
To embrace those arms I don't believe have truly embraced someone else before.
To finally see some emotion in those dead, logical, calculating blue eyes.
Can I even admit it to myself that I could love someone like you?

Someone like me who knows what she wants but can't have it.
Someone who knows she doesn't want you even when the blood is all over her face.
Someone who is currently debating with herself, struggling to decipher the emotions she feels with you.
Me...

Those hands are strong, and unyielding, just like your thoughts.
Those hands that have no doubts before action as you sand away every layer I put up to protect myself with.
Unlike my mind, that falters, that hesitates before everything I do.
What am I even doing here? What am I even doing? Can I remember how to breathe?

These brown eyes want their fill of you.
This brown hair want their thick ropes to be intertwined between your fingers.
This body's blood yearns for your body's blood.
Are we ready for each other's unreciprocated love?