Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Jay May 2013
There is something incredibly peaceful
About watching someone do something their addicted to
Watching how a shaky hand injects a needle ever so calmly
How beautiful she looks taking that first drag on a much needed cigarette
The relief you see in his eyes when he swallows that bottle
The idea of skinny as her finger is down her throat
You can't help but want to feel what they feel
The release
The complete and utter dismissal of all worries
And just for a moment
Life isn't as hard as it seems to be
Jay Jun 2013
These are the nights
Lonely
Longing
These are the nights that I try to avoid
By entertaining guests that are far from appealing
By watching television as to fill my mind with nonense
By consuming large amounts of food so that I can think about how bad my stomach hurts rather than my thoughts
These are the nights that force me to keep the lights on
Because my demons come out in the dark
The lights still seem 20 times dimmer and yet 80 times lighter
These are the nights that I write
Because I must display my thoughts
Anywhere but inside my head
Because in my head it's all real,
But on paper, or a screen
It's more serene
Like morphine it numbs me
We say we would rather feel pain than numbness
But numbness is what we crave when we have stomach pains or headaches
I despise these nights
Jay Feb 2014
There once was a man whose name was Moonie
He was a very handsome man
His skin was sun kissed, dark like a brown bears fur, soft like a baby's curl
And oh, the way his hair curled
Moonie had hair that grew outward instead of downward
His smile was as white as the snow capped mountains
His heart as warm as the coast of Australia, all year round
He smelled like matches and Dark Horse cigarettes
Like everything warm
He dressed like a professional troublemaker
His laugh came from his stomach when he laughed real good
And I've never heard him laugh bad
He loved like a father
Protected like a brother
Teased like a sister
And worried like a mother
He cursed like a sailor
But only when he was angry
Moonie had a fuse so long that if you lit it in January, it would take a whole 365 days for him to explode
But by the time 365 days past it was a matter that didn't really matter anymore
He had a mind like a turtle
He thought thoughtfully, slow and subtle
But he spoke like he knew every wonder of the world
He kissed babies and broke bottles on the backs of ships carrying soldiers off to war
Even though he was confused about what they were fighting for
Moonie spoke of peace and of hope for future souls
He loved everything from the edges of the universe
To the coral that grows in the deepest of the oceans coves
Moonie met a girl, who brought a whole lot of sunshine to his world
She made the lips of his mouth curl
Upward, it was a beautiful sight, especially with teeth that white
Moonie met a girl, he swears by the stars that she is incredible
Magnificent
Wonderful
Beautiful
Terrific
He says she makes his heart 10 times larger, like it's flowing out so much love that it makes his nose runny,
He calls her Sunny

There once was a girl named Sunny
She was a very beautiful girl
She had curly brown hair that fell just short of her shoulders
Skin that was kissed by the angels themselves
If you believe that kind if thing exists
She dressed like an artist
The kind that like to paint masterpieces
With every curve of the brush
She smelled like summer, like home, like sunshine peaking through rain clouds
She planted roses for those she lost,
In hopes of continuous growth and beauty
She spoke with the authority of an officer
But also with the gentleness of a butterfly
Her personality was layered like a Russian doll
And as you opened up every part of her she grew so very small
But not small in the bad way,
She was wise like an owl
But she was happy like a child at play
She cared like the ocean cares for sea creatures that swim in its depths
She cried like it was always rainy season
She laughed with a sadness in her eyes that was easy to detect
But she was happy
And she loved a man named Moonie
And he made her happy
And she swears on the rings that circle Saturn
That he is the most beautiful man on the planet

Sunny and Moonie lived together in a cozy home by the ocean
Where it was never too hot or too cold
They had a beautiful garden, that sprouted all different kinds of things,
Pumpkins that grew tomatoes
Watermelon that grew on trees
Potatoes that grew above the ground
Flowers with yellow stems and baby blue leaves
Beautiful birds flew around, bluejays with mocking jay wings
Their family was the world around them and they wanted and needed for nothing
Moonie was so happy
Sunny was so lovely
The things that they did, how incredibly they lived
How wonderful life had become
When moonie and sunny both lived as one

Then one day when Moonie was down by the beach
Sunny was in their little green house, fast asleep
Moonie slipped on a snail shell and fell into the pretty sea
When it got late Sunny worried and went to see
She called and she called
Moonie was nowhere to be found
He had fallen asleep forever, in the ocean's underground
The sharks and the octopus found Moonie and buried him deep
The sea urchin said we must bring him back!
But the turtle insisted that we must let him sleep
The flounder found Sunny by the shore and they brought her the news
The look in her eyes was as if her heart had been bruised
She look to the sky as dark clouds rolled in
The raindrops dropped to the rhythm of the tears on her skin
Her Moonie was gone forever in the ocean blue
She threw herself into the ocean saying take me with you
The flounder, the turtles, the mer-people and creatures of the sea
Tried to stop her from suffering the same fate as her dear Moonie
But she would let them save her as she fell into the deep,
Whispering, I love my Moonie and my Moonie loves me
She sank and she sank
She fell and she fell
She floated right next to her love
In the oceans pink sand
The most beautiful death in all of the land
Moonie swore by the stars that his Sunny was magnificent
And Sunny swore by the rings on Saturn that Moonie was the most beautiful man on the planet
They died together but they're souls rose separately
Moonie rose for the night
His love rose for the day
Sunny became the Sun
Moonie became the light that snuffed out the darkness of that day
And as they lived in their respective spots in the sky
They saw each other from time to time
They might have been punished for loving too much
Or they might've loved so much that the universe needed them to take care of us
For the Moon now takes care of the oceans tide
And the Sun takes care of you and I
I think Sunny and Moonie had it right
Even though they no longer see each other everyday,
their love is something you don't have to look so far to find
Maybe that's why you sometimes find the Moon and the Sun in the same sky
They're so close to finding each other, but they have so little time
Jay Sep 2013
Everyone eventually leaves
No matter how many times they say they won't
No matter how many forevers
Or forgives and forgets
Or this isn't over yet
Sometimes the I'll be backs
Turn into I got caught up
Turns into I don't have the time
Turns into the last goodbye
Turns into the "missed" calls
When I know you didn't bother to pick up at all
One day everyone will walk out
Like they've had enough and it's time to go
And you've been waiting since rainy season,
Now it's starting to snow
That's from spring till winter in case you didn't know
And you're still standing at that window looking for who you need most
But I promise you
Everyone eventually leaves
Like they have better things to do than listen to you
Whine
And *****
And moan
Like they have made you sit and listen to their ****
Like I just need to leave.
Please don't follow me
And everyone eventually goes
Mom, dad, the sisters you wish you had
And the ones you already have
How sad
Because strangers turn into friends
Turn into complete strangers again
Until I see you walking down the street
Exchanging how have you beens when you know **** well
You haven't been thinking of me.
Acting like you don't all eventually leave
Like the moving trucks
Ever get rusted
Knowing that we shouldn't lock them up
Soon enough their locks gonna get busted
So why waste the money.
Stop with the jokes, honey, nothing's funny
I'm not ******* around when I say they always leave
Unless they just always happen to want to leave me
If that's the case then, please
Tell me what I did wrong
To have a personality that everyone wants
To be around for about 5 minutes
Then when I'm drained out their finished
As if they ever cared in the first place
Like after they get rid of what's on their plate
It adds a double helping on mine
That might triple over time
I'm so willing to listen
But they never let Me get a word in
Like ****, calm down
Let me speak this time around
Make sure your ears are open and you hear me
Because ill be screaming at the top of my lungs
**Baby please don't leave me
Jay Jun 2013
At this very moment my close friend is sitting on the couch
Next to my brother
Arms wrapped around each other
Not even trying to hide it.

At this very moment I am up in my room
Talking to my brother's 17 year old friend
Living in a nightmare that never ends
And I'm lost

Lost in my head
Lost in love
With a boy who just wants ***
It's a long story
Someday I'll tell you the rest
Jay Aug 2013
I'm so very afraid of the dark
I'll  have to sleep with the light on again tonight
Jay Jul 2013
I wish the train would've come
Jay Aug 2013
Continuously coming up short takes its toll on ones self-esteem.
Jay Sep 2013
You fall for one, they fall for another
Like dominoes we fall together.
Jay Oct 2013
What really ***** is when you're so sad that getting up tomorrow morning feels like it won't happen. When it physically pains you to open your eyes. You feel ******? You dont know the ******* half of it. You dont know what its like to only feel good when you're high or drunk or on the verge of losing your virginity to someone else. You have no ******* idea how it feels to constantly have to SURVIVE. You're never really living because all you can focus on is what you're doing wrong. When your future is so far away, yet so ******* close, when everything you do right now affects that future, its hard. When you actually feel sore throughout your entire body because of how much you cried last night. When you constantly feel numb and shut yourself off from everybody, then you can tell me how ****** it is that your mother loves you and your father cares about who you're with. When you feel how a depressed ,suicidal person feels, you can tell me how sad you are because your parents didn't buy you the car you wanted. But for now, leave me alone.
Jay Jun 2013
Tick tock
Goes the big clock
It's getting late, you must have forgot
Tock tick
It's so sick
Such a heavy weight, heart full of bricks
Jay Nov 2013
Only one plate? said mother
Is that all you're going to eat?
You said,
I've got to save some room for the treats.
That's a tiny piece of cake. said mother,
Are you sure you don't want another
You said,
Well, we have to save room for the others.
Are you sick? said mother
As she opened the bath room door
She saw you shove your finger down your throat
Then you threw up all over the floor.
I'm so sorry, said mother.
Your sad because it isn't her fault
She encouraged full figures
But a stomach is something you didn't want.
I knew you were getting so small, said mother.
I should've said something
And you began to cry
Because what she could've said would've meant nothing.
Mother called father not knowing what do do,
Instead of helping, father came screaming into your room,
You're going to start eating young lady! Father shouts
If you don't then we will have a problem,
Then he slammed the door on his way out.
You wonder what you should do as you sit upon your bed,
Should you allow daddy to hurt you?
Or get fat instead?
Maybe, just maybe, you think
You'd be better off dead..
Jay Jul 2013
I have a message for the kid sitting in the back of the classroom
You know, the one with the bruises, ask him what's wrong he'll give you the dumbest excuses
"I fell down the stairs, and ran into the door"
But stairs and doors don't give black eyes and broken bones so what are you lying for?

I have a message for the prettiest girl in school
You know, The one hiding behind all that make-up and hairspray
Pretending she couldn't be having  a better day
Yet she's afraid to go back to her broken home
Because her step-dad hurts her mom and her brother won't leave her alone
School is her sanctuary
What you don't know can be scary.

I have a message for the boy on his skateboard
Sellings drugs and liquor to make a quick buck
Then he got caught for possession and now he's stuck
In that cell all by himself remembering what his friends said
"We're bros, forever" But they left him for dead.

I got a message for that wierd girl in the lunchroom
The one that eats alone,
She has no place to call home
She smells bad because she doesn't own a shower
Living in shelters, her life is out of her power
Because her parents messed up she has to hurt
But she wants to do better so she does her school work

I have a message for the boy blogging
Those cuts on his wrists are not cat scratches
They're more like past mistakes left on his arms in patches
He can't help how sad he always feels
But he refuses to be that kid "on pills"

I have a message for that girl with the strict parents
Wishing she could bring her girlfriend to meet the family
But she knows if she did they wouldn't be happy
Because being gay is a sin
And if you're gay you're not kin

****, what a world we live in.

I have a message for all the messed up kids
Who struggle in the daily lives they live.
You will be okay
Things will get better someday.
So put away that blade and pick up that paint brush
Don't end your life before you've felt the rush
Wait until you've had your first kiss
I promise you there will be so many moments of bliss
Put down that bottle of pills
You of all people deserve life's thrills
I know sometimes it's hard to catch the curveballs life throws your way,
Just get low and get ready to play

To the kids who feel lost and alone
I will be the one to welcome you home
Jay Aug 2013
Everyone thinks I'm sad

but I'd consider myself happy

I've been in my room all day feeling kind of numb

I'm just lazy, I don't wanna get out of bed because I'm watching a good show

I haven't felt a real feeling since the start of the summer

I'm happy with you

I don't know the meaning of different moods, nothing hurts and nothing feels good

A blade? NEVER.

Maybe

Life is too good to be sad, cheer up

Explain to me why pain feels so good, explain to me why I cannot love someone, I'm purposely hurting everyone around me and I see it but its addicting and I can't stop

I'll be fine

Please, Help me.
Jay Jul 2013
She steps out of bed in the morning. Standing, stretching, rubbing half open eyes. She doesn't even so much as glance in the mirror as she walks softly across the cold, hardwood floor and into the bathroom to shower. She turns on the water and tests it to see if it's too cold or too hot. Jumping in she washes away the filth of sad dreams and her wandering mind. Stepping out she wraps herself in a warm fuzzy towel and shuffles quietly into her room, making sure she doesn't wake the rest of her house, she closes her door and turns on her music. As she stares in the mirror she turns up the volume on her iPod so that it's drowns out the sounds of her thoughts calling her ugly, pale and sickly. She sighs and begins to pile on the makeup. Fixing her face to perfection, pulling and magnifying every eyelash and covering every pimple. Once she is semi-satisfied with her product filled face she starts on her hair. Plowing thought tangled curls, straightening and curling, primping and poking and prodding until every piece of hair from root to tip is burned to a crisp. She smiles to her reflection, at least it's a little prettier than before, she thinks. Yet, she's still unsatisfied, she frowns again. She'd rather have her entire face covered and unseen. She moves on to her wardrobe, not liking anything in her closet she raids her mothers. Finding something suitable and baggy to cover her layers of fat (the whole 150 pounds of it), she looks in the mirror one more time. Unhappy with the finished product she checks her watch and realizes she doesn't have time to change. She trumps out the door to the big, bumpy, smelly, annoying bus and listens to the other kids have fun. When she gets to school she walks to the looming doors alone, then walks alone to her locker. In fact, she spends the entire day alone. Even though her school holds over 500 people at this very moment. After school she walks to the same bus she arrived in. Smelling and feeling the same as earlier in the day. She arrives home to an empty house and makes some ramen noodles and tea. Then she sits and does homework and watches TV until around midnight and goes into her room, brushes her teeth and goes to sleep. Just to wake up and do it all again tomorrow.
Jay Jul 2013
I'm never sure if I have the right to upset with you.
Because society has sort of thrown clingyness into my face
By telling me I need to learn how to stay in my place
For example if you aren't replying as quickly as me
I guess I'm supposed to take the hint and leave
Just so I'm not known as that needy girl
Who isn't complete without you in her world
And if I happen to actually tell you what's wrong
You'll throw me excuses so I'll feel like you were in the right all along
I'm supposed to display this big show of confidence when ignored
Like I don't need you to have fun when in reality I'm bored
Right now I'm just stuck at this spot and I'm not sure what to do
Should I hide my anger or should I just tell you
Jay Jun 2013
I honestly don't know what it means
To have someone gaze at you because they just want to
I don't know what it feels like
To have someone notice every detail about you
The phrases you love to use
How your smile starts small then grows wider
The curvature of you hips
The sounds and movements you make in your sleep
I don't know what it's like
To feel confident
To have someone backing you up
Someone to remind you who you are
Someone to remind you that you belong somewhere
All I know are these cuts on my legs
And the hurt in my heart
Because anything that's ever mattered to me
Has disappeared
Jay Jul 2013
This feeling is so abnormal for me
I'm used to 3 main emotions
Happy, Sad and Angry
This new one is frightnening
I'm not happy with you but
I'm not angry or sad either
And it's a bit scary but
I want to talk to you about it
Without screaming
or using the words "we need to talk"
Definitly not the words "I'm done"
I just want to tell you what's going on in my brain
I think your doing something wrong,
Or we are
But it isn't something I can put my finger on
Or maybe I can,
But I don't know baby
I guess I'm just upset.
Jay Jun 2013
I guess I'm that girl
The one you see sitting on your doorstep after work everyday
The one looking for you during every storm out of fear that you might be blown away
The girl that can't seem to get her mind away from you for more than a few moments
The one who holds you when you start to feel broken

You see, I'm THAT girl
The one who is searching for perfect in all the wrong places
The one who thinks love is when your gone but your thinking of her making silly faces
The one who thinks that just because you throw her a kiss every now and then your supposed to care
But for some reason, your never there
And I'm the girl who thinks thats fair

First comes work
Then family
Then basketball
Then rest
THEN me
And I'm still that girl
Who thinks maybe we can last past this summer
Hoping the kiss you gave means more and I wonder, if every day I'm just getting dumber and dumber

Because I am still THAT girl
Waiting for forever.
Jay Jun 2013
You and I are like minnesota weather.
Well at least I am,
I'm the storm, that comes around 2 o'clock or so,
Screaming in agony,
Making things fall,
Pounding on the walls,
Because something I onced loved is now gone.
But you are the sun,
That shows up around 4 o'clock or so,
Warming the ground,
Drying my tears
Calming me.
But as soon as you leave
The feelings overwhelm me,
And with no sun to warm my heart
We're back to square one
Restart.

Sometimes your Sun doesn't even work,
And I still rain, even in your presence,
And I'm Lost
Lost in feeling, lost in the thunder and the lightning,
While you struggle to save me, I just run.
I believe I'm insane darling,
But you just happen to hold my sanity in the palm of your hand.
Jay Sep 2013
They wonder why teenagers often seem to lose hope
When they shove the idea of perfection down our throats
As we get the idea that in order to be somebody we need to grow up
Because we're too young to know how to fall in love
And we're too young to know how to handle our stuff
Because our hormones control us
The therapists are asking
What in your past affects what's happening?
But it's honestly not the past, just the here and now
Seeing even the brightest of smiles turn into frowns
Taking blades to our wrists when the sun goes down
All we're told to look for is the inevitable doom
Someone tell heaven to make room
We're sending up some new angels soon
Parents are wondering how they made so many mistakes
Promising they'll do whatever it takes
But life isnt that easy, you can't heal bullet wounds with scotch tape
So if you happen to be looking for a quicker fix
This isn't it
This numbness won't be healed with your first aide kit
It's going to take more than a sorry toned in the voice of *******
Someone call the surgeons, see if they heal broken hearts
See if they mend broken families that tear us apart
Someone call the firefighters,
See if they can put out the fire
The one that burns every night
The one that scorches demons into the frames of your mind
Telling you it's okay to drag that blade
I still have my scars
But they don't come from exposed body parts
They don't come from bruises, blackened by poor excuses
And also literal ones. Ask me why I seem so far
From your reality
You don't seem like you understand me
But I guess I'm just another "Teen"
But that's what you can't see
People and animals aren't meant to be classified
Someone's fur may be softer than mine
Jealousy comes from dark parts of our minds
Bringing hate that erupts from volcanoes frozen in time
I figure you might understand if it rhymes
Because the liquor has burned holes into your mind
You've created this poorly formed shrine
Directed toward false Gods, burning your throat like wine
And I'm standing in the middle of WW3 today
It's me against my demons and they're on their way
Scream into my ears until I become deaf
And all I hear is your words telling me to crave death
But it isn't like depression is something you can play with
Does it count if sometimes my feelings shift
Is it okay if my numbness comes more often than yours
Or if my blade is hurting less than yours
If pain isn't what I crave, it's really love
Give me something to love without forcing barrels of guns
Into the mouths of innocent children in the hands of innocent killers
We're staring into the soulless eyes of the gravediggers
My graveyard shift isn't up yet
If you think this is a suicide note you're so very wrong
I just want to let you know what's going on
My head is a labyrinth and I continue to get lost
But I made it myself.
Yet at what cost?
Jay Dec 2013
Some days I wish I could be blind
That way I couldn't see the flaws that we try so hard to hide
My friend once told me that she hated the color of her eyes
Just because they weren't the color gray or maybe green
Her exact words, "Brown eyes are so boring and mainstream"
My eyes are brown

Some days I wish I could be blind
That way I couldn't see the flaws that we try so hard to hide
My sister once said she wanted to work out whenever I did
Even though she is just a 9 year old kid
Her exact words "I wanna look like you and weigh 103"
I weigh somewhat close to 130

Some days I wish I could be blind
That way I couldn't see the flaws we try so hard to hide
My cousin said she wishes she had straight hair
She thought maybe her dad would be there
Her exact words "maybe if my hair was straight like daddy's he would love me"
My hair is also curly

Some days I wish I could be blind
That way I couldn't see the flaws we try so hard to hide
I know your flaws are different from mine
And we can forget them, from time to time
But when you're around me
I want you to see what I can see
I love the fact that your eyes aren't green
Brown is a beautiful eye color to me
I love that you weigh so much more than 102
Because if you weighed any less I wouldn't know what to hold on to
And even if you weighed 95 pounds maybe minus point 5
I would find you in my sheets, your heartbeat would be my guide
If your hair didn't curl I wouldn't know what to play with
And even if it was bone straight, I might learn how to braid it
I don't love your flaws, I'm not romanticizing your insecurities
But there are more important things to care about, so many beautiful things to see

I know you could be so happy
If you saw what I can see.
Jay Oct 2013
People always say
do what makes you happy
but what if the things that make me happy,
also tear me down
They always say
take the road less traveled
but I lost all roads about ten miles back
or maybe forward
I wouldn't know.
Jay Aug 2013
I'm having trouble deciding what to do
Should I ignore this nagging sense or go talk to you
People always say
"Go for it" you won't be able to another day
But what will I even be going for?
What will I say when you open the door?
And ask me why I came
If I told you I'd feel ashamed
Because I'm the one that called it quits
But I never wanted it to end like this
When you spend a summer with someone like him
It's a pretty hard summer to forget
You made some mistakes and I just want to forgive
Because I want to be back in your arms, unaware and ignorant
You'd be surprised if I came and said hello
Because I left without warning, like get up and go
And I have no reason to be sorry but I am
Leaving wasn't really in my plans
But you hurt me so bad
And I always think about what we had
I just dont know if it's the best thing to get it back
But I want it back
I miss us against the world
Against the "it won't works" against those other girls
Because I thought I was the one
I had no idea I'd ever say we're done
But I'm stuck and I don't know what to do
Should I stay in my place or fight for you
Jay May 2013
I love how rain sounds when it taps on your window
It always seems as though it's missed you
When it pours it seems like it's crying tears of joy
I get goosebumps
When I hear the sound
I think of you
A thousand tiny little taps that could mean a thousand tiny different things
When it rains,
Do you think of me too?
Jay Oct 2013
At least 4 people have asked me this question in the last 10 minutes. This is the answer.

As a child, I grew up learning that God is who I should follow. That he will lead you into paradise, and you will rest in his kingdom. At the age I am now, I'm choosing to disagree. I don't believe in a higher power. I don't believe there is someone watching over me, I don't believe someone has already calculated my every step. It's hard for me to grasp the concept of it. I know that it is a scary thought that there won't be a hand to hold throughout my life, but I can hold my own.
But Why Buddhism?
I'm assuming everyone has different goals of life. My main goal is to be happy. That is literally all I ask for. Happiness. Shooting star? I wish for happiness. 11:11? I wish for happiness. It's been that way since I was a little girl. Buddhism uses meditation and the teachings of Buddha to set a path for your life. It teaches to look into yourself to find what you need. Things like compassion and kindness come from inside. In my religion I am not put against an almighty being. I have no one to be compared to but myself and in knowing this, I can know that I can grow into who I am supposed to be. I believe in reincarnation, I have even before I learned what Buddhism was. I always thought you were reincarnated until you lived a perfect life and went to heaven. Now I believe that you are shooting for Nirvana, not some place in the sky. i am not bashing any other religion I used to believe in it. There is more to it than this, but I'm not trying to write a paper about it.

Everyone is entitled to their views and opinions. I only hope that my choices don't make me lose the friends I love and care for, but if they do, I didn't have them as friends in the first place and I understand their choices too.

Stay Peaceful,
Jay
Jay Jun 2013
Following you up the stairs now
Yelling behind, in your ear
He's nobody, Nothing
You are never to see him again
But thats not fair
You don't see him like I do
You don't see his dreams
His ambition for doing things
He loves

Standing in your door now
YOU HEARD ME
I'll **** him
He only wants one thing and you won't be the one to let him have it
But have you seen his smile
The way he looks at me
I don't see Lust, which is all too familiar
But instead love

Fists raised now
Guess I'll have a chat with him then
DONT LEAVE THIS HOUSE
Already gone
But he did nothing wrong
A simple date turned into much more
Where did we go wrong
What did we do wrong

I'm sorry for tearing everyone apart.
Jay Jan 2014
Sweat,
Sharp breaths
Not letting go yet,
You and I
Pressed against each other,
Nothing in between.
Strokes on your back,
Kisses on your neck,
Never ready for what pleasures come next
Finishing with no common sense
Then we're back at it again.
Worn out,
Eyelids heavy
Smoke a blunt
Let go already
No feelings
No worries
You and I
It happens every time
No metaphors
No flowers
No cards, no love,
Just ***
Just smoke
Just the inhales and the exhales
Just us
Jay Aug 2013
Looking in the mirror she uncaps her marker
She leans forward a bit and begins to draw
Curving her hips into the frame of an hourglass
Pretty at last
Drawing long black hair, soft to the touch
It still isn't enough
She draws a bigger bottom
She's almost got it
She draws thinner legs, with a thigh gap
How about that?
She draws smaller arms, ones that don't jiggle
And a teeny tiny middle
The picture in the mirror is who she wants to be
But it isn't what she sees

She hits the mirror, with all her strength
She regrets it but its too late
Blood is spilling out of her hand
As she does it over and over again
Broken shards lying on her bedroom floor
She hits the mirror just once more
Once last time she gazes at her reflection
Please, pretty girl, see your perfection
Know that the picture you drew
Is not you
And if it was you would be the same
Love yourself, don't be so ashamed
You're beautiful

*Write that on your mirror

— The End —