looking back, i’ve realized
that in the moment
i tend to be anxious and impatient
and i don’t trust
that everything will work itself out
and i ache to know
exactly what is waiting for me
around the corner
   will i alter my circumstances
   or will my circumstances alter me?

i mindlessly allow myself to become faithless
and although i’ve overcome so many obstacles,
my eyes become fixated on the present
and i forget to take a step back
and reflect on my past

everyone always says,
“don’t look back,”
but i think it’s important
to remember where you once stood
and recognize how far you’ve come

i know i’ve changed
and i know i will continue to change
  
so why at 2am on a monday night
do i get stuck believing
that things will always be the same?

The world is lost in selfishness,
the world is lost in lust.
The world is lost in *** and drugs,
the world has lost my trust.

He told me I was precious
I ran a finger nail across his collarbone
And he was on his elbows, kissing the flesh above my jeans
His eyes sank into me like an anchor in the ocean
Yeah
Is what I wanted to say.
Instead I said nothing and let my eyelids collapse
And felt that moment
Felt it
The sun setting and the sounds streaming from the speaker
The voice
Singing the same words I listened to yesterday
Singing cheer me on cheer me on cheer me on cheer me on
And we are lying side by side
My eyes are growing
You tell me you can’t believe it
And I smile and let you in
Because this is the closest I’ll ever get to trust
And love
And lust
A flame under the bed

When I type “What is the meaning of life?” into Google,
I always hit the “I’m feeling lucky button”,
But it hasn’t worked yet.

Hello my friend, Mascara Rain
sorry to wake you up again
Always there, black as night
when The Loneliness is moving in
Here to keep me company
yet always running
while I'm drowning
But I can't blame you
I would run too
But I have to stay
and swim in my thoughts
drowning in Mascara Rain
Painting the most realistic eyes of a lonely girl
until sleep rescues us both
Tomorrow it will be impossible to create anything but silence
as my friend Mascara Rain tries to remain unseen

On a sheer peak of joy we meet;
Below us hums the abyss;
Death either way allures our feet
If we take one step amiss.

One moment let us drink the blue
Transcendent air together—
Then down where the same old work’s to do
In the same dull daily weather.

We may not wait . . . yet look below!
How part? On this keen ridge
But one may pass. They call you—go!
My life shall be your bridg.

He loves me,
I'm glad,
because I love him
I think I need to be with him
I do
I need a new adventure, but isn't that what you are,
just slightly stale?
I need him.
I need his hugs and his skin
but baby I need you too
You have to see now, its no longer just you and me
I drag around other souls
I break them down until I start breaking down me
So just go. Just cheat.
Give me a reason to fight, because this is just to **** easy.
Stop loving me, so I can love you more.
Let me kiss him, so I can know what its like.
Just leave me, pick a fight that's different than our constant
Show me the kind of love I need
Give me a vinyl and chai afternoon
Be the person I need you to be
Do the things I need you to do
Be the person in my head.
or let me see if its him.