Only one plate? said mother
Is that all you're going to eat?
You said,
I've got to save some room for the treats.
That's a tiny piece of cake. said mother,
Are you sure you don't want another
You said,
Well, we have to save room for the others.
Are you sick? said mother
As she opened the bath room door
She saw you shove your finger down your throat
Then you threw up all over the floor.
I'm so sorry, said mother.
Your sad because it isn't her fault
She encouraged full figures
But a stomach is something you didn't want.
I knew you were getting so small, said mother.
I should've said something
And you began to cry
Because what she could've said would've meant nothing.
Mother called father not knowing what do do,
Instead of helping, father came screaming into your room,
You're going to start eating young lady! Father shouts
If you don't then we will have a problem,
Then he slammed the door on his way out.
You wonder what you should do as you sit upon your bed,
Should you allow daddy to hurt you?
Or get fat instead?
Maybe, just maybe, you think
You'd be better off dead..

It's okay to leave your makeup on overnight sometimes,
Especially when you stumble through your front door at 3 am after forgetting to kiss the man who took you out goodbye
It's okay to wear the same pants two days in a row,
Especially after you've taken 4 finals, written 6 essays, and did a 13 page paper about the KKK.
It's okay to have a crush on the boy everyone else thinks is wierd,
Especially when he likes you back and your love makes him want to be a successful person for you when you grow up together
It's okay to cry,
Especially when your father disappeared just after avoiding a diabetic coma, do not let your mother tell you it's not.
It's okay to think you're pretty,
Especially if the other girls say you aren't (You are stunning)
Its okay to feel weak,
Especially when you're burdened with the weight of what feels like the world.
It's okay to let him tell you be loves you,
Especially when he means it
It's okay to LOVE YOURSELF,
Especially when you feel worthless.
It is okay,
When you think it isn't, read this poem,
Everything is okay,
You have to believe it will be okay,
Especially when it isn't

I always thought that I climbed high enough to be immune to falling down
But the whole time I wasn't climbing, I was falling and I never realized until I hit the ground
And right now the ground is soft and I'm heavy like a rock
I'm afraid I've broken through, when I never saw the lock
They say when you hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up.
But rock bottom hit me 48hours ago and all I can do is stare into the teacup
As I watch everything I've ever known crumble into nothing
I realize that we're all afraid of something
And when that something shows its face and we have no where else to hide
when our arms become too tired and we can no longer fight
when the battles we cannot win have become too much to bear
when something is a-coming and no safety net is there
when the only option left from running from our something is to jump off a cliff
when rock bottom can't be seen, but we see hell in the abyss
when all that's left is nothings left and we don't know what to do
Just know that if you will carry me, I will carry you.

At least 4 people have asked me this question in the last 10 minutes. This is the answer.

As a child, I grew up learning that God is who I should follow. That he will lead you into paradise, and you will rest in his kingdom. At the age I am now, I'm choosing to disagree. I don't believe in a higher power. I don't believe there is someone watching over me, I don't believe someone has already calculated my every step. It's hard for me to grasp the concept of it. I know that it is a scary thought that there won't be a hand to hold throughout my life, but I can hold my own.
But Why Buddhism?
I'm assuming everyone has different goals of life. My main goal is to be happy. That is literally all I ask for. Happiness. Shooting star? I wish for happiness. 11:11? I wish for happiness. It's been that way since I was a little girl. Buddhism uses meditation and the teachings of Buddha to set a path for your life. It teaches to look into yourself to find what you need. Things like compassion and kindness come from inside. In my religion I am not put against an almighty being. I have no one to be compared to but myself and in knowing this, I can know that I can grow into who I am supposed to be. I believe in reincarnation, I have even before I learned what Buddhism was. I always thought you were reincarnated until you lived a perfect life and went to heaven. Now I believe that you are shooting for Nirvana, not some place in the sky. i am not bashing any other religion I used to believe in it. There is more to it than this, but I'm not trying to write a paper about it.

Everyone is entitled to their views and opinions. I only hope that my choices don't make me lose the friends I love and care for, but if they do, I didn't have them as friends in the first place and I understand their choices too.

Stay Peaceful,
Jay