Your Biggest Fan: A Hoadley Story

In the time of my life when dreams come true
When I was so immature and learning to live
Being an early adult is always so hard
And draining in ever-ry regard

With a glimpse of fate
And a gift to me
Came a beautiful princess
In a flowery summer-dress

I stumbled into your life, you stumbled into mine
With a shaky start you taught me so much
I grew and grew and thought it through really hard
And finally let down my guard

I fell back into the roses of being in your arms
And embraced the soft sweet scented petals
Where everything was beautiful
And I couldn’t help but feel dutiful

The soft colours and sweet scented world
That you’re so familiar with
Got brighter more and on display
When I began to see you every day

That little ember in my belly
Just below all the butter-flies
Exploded into a roaring fire
Filling me with a burning desire

I’d trap myself in a dream
As long as it’s just you and me
Where we’ll visit exotic lands
And be happy just holding hands

I want to protect you to never see you hurt
To never see your eyes turn grey
To never see tears roll down
Or to ever witness a frumpy frown

I’d shift that mood like the time in the car
When we sat and listened to Noah and the Whale
And we both thought the same thought
About the happiness each other brought

You’ll achieve everything you’ve ever dreamed
Your heart the real House of Hope
I believe in you so much you see
You really are the one for me

So smile for me it’s an amazing gift
One that asks for nothing back in return
I asked the gift of being your man
Because you see, I really am your biggest fan...

Pale moonlight flooded through the narrow slits of the draping blinds
Casting an eerie light on the surrounding room
Our chests raised in unison
We truly were connected

Her heavy head
Weighted with all the burdens of a child
Forced to grow up too fast
Fitted into the mold on my chest

Her breathing slow and steady
A polar opposite
to the preceding nights activities
She looked so peaceful

Strange how such peace and purity
Like still moonlight
Can cover the welling inside
of a fiery furnace building, ready to erupt

For with each turn of that moon
That peace and passion
That abundance of love, joy and giving
Too had turned

I hated her  

Strange how little things you love
Like the twinkle in her eye or the way her hair falls in her face
Can be so beautiful
Yet....

How was she so coy?
Did she not feel the turbulence
The red hot searing fire furnace tearing me apart
As i wanted to see the light flood out of her eyes

Desperate

But she looked so peaceful

I wanted to tear it all apart
To rip our souls in half
and dim the dreary burden of her faltering light
Or was i just being selfish?

They say you can only love others
As much as you love yourself
I didn't love her
So what did that say about myself?

She gave and gave and gave
Kindness, love and respect
I begrudgingly took it
Without the slightest bit of remorse

I again felt her head on my rising chest
I could never tell her
I closed my eyes and tried to lay my mind to rest
Maybe tomorrow will be better...

*It never was

Public Execution:

And on and on it draws closer
Looming up against the grey
And tightening like a noose around the neck
Of the chosen

The martyr swallows his pride
Proud to belief
That it’s all false
That its all chance

The wood creaks
As the steps draw fewer
The crowd screams
As the floor is gone

There's a creak and a crack
The floor falls away
The sinews of rope tighten
As the world turns black

And fades away….

Truth be told if there was such an angel
As the books always said
I think I was the one that experienced her touch
Her beauty, her grace was all too much…

You being the angel that I see
Helped me in every way to be…
A better person, strong and calm
And even kept me away from harm

My angel put up with my tears and fears
My work and all my friends
She put up with my colossal dreams
And through that taught me the most important lessons of my life:  

That no matter what happens
If it’s meant to be, the chips will fall in place
And once again I’ll feel your grace
It’ll be us against the world

Even after all this talk, there will be a lot that I miss
A best friend, someone to hold
Someone that is with me
While we watch the world unfold

A lover, my hope
Possibly the one
That is my guiding light
That lights up the darkest night


So this isn't a goodbye, it’s more of a “see you soon”
Once you've grown into the woman that you’re meant to be
Let these words be a reminder
For all to see
For you to never forget me….

For one day you and I could fly,
High in the heavens above
We’ll grasp our hands so tight
Never letting go…

But until then...
Let this be, the reminder that you were meant to see
I wish you all the happiness in the world
And I never want you to feel grief

I’ll see you again….my love

A smile costs nothing, but gives much-
It takes but a moment, but the memory of it usually lasts forever.
None are so rich that can get along without it-
And none are so poor but that can be made rich by it.


It enriches those who receive, without making poor those who give-
It creates sunshine in the home,
Fosters good will in business,
And is the best antidote for trouble-
And yet it cannot be begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is of no value
Unless it is given away.


Some people are too busy to give you a smile-
Give them one of yours-
For the good Lord knows that no one needs a smile so badly
As he or she who has no more smiles left to give.

-I find this and think its so true. So here is a smile from me to you :)

I fight the urges
I fight the tears
It seems so hard
I want to give in to the fears

The urges get better
I can finally see a light
The light dims and disappears
And I’m left again, dark as night

The path is narrow
The rocks are sharp
Each stumble or fall
Cuts a tiny slit in my heart

The cuts get bigger
And **** and ooze
Is it really worth the effort
I’m only gonna lose

But each time I take the cut
The stitches get fewer and less
Its easier to sew
To scrub, to clean and finally dress

The cuts get harder
As the scar tissue forms
The cuts don’t seem so bad anymore
It only tingles and burns

As time goes by
With the sand falling soft and sound
The heartbeat slows
Into a drumming pound

I’m running and jumping
Rolling and laughing
I finally see the flowers in the trees
Fluttering and dancing

The road is wide
The birds sing
There’s no need for a thought
So I hum a beautiful hymn

A Poor Man’s Love Story:

I met you when I was three
I still remember how scared you were of that slide
Those days when we were so young, careless and free
I hoped we’d never change but life’s a ride
I hoped you’d never get tired of me

When we got a little older
And we became compulsive flirts
And I got a bit bolder
That first kiss under all those fireworks
I think my heart got bigger

I began to love you
It seemed like life was a big, happy game
And when the wind blew
Making the brown autumn leaves dance up Strawberry Lane
And flicked up your long blonde hair

We’d laugh, cuddle, cry and feel no fear
Hold each other till our muscles would shake
Talk on the phone when I was away just to feel near
A dream world where everything but you and me, just felt fake
I hate to see you sad


One day when I’m rich and wise
I’ll take you where you always wanted to go
It’ll be the ultimate surprise
We’ll stand on the Champs Elysees and throw
Bread crumps to the plump pigeons

We’ll gaze into each other’s eyes and not make a sound
Fall down on the rich green grassy banks of a river
I’ll always catch your head before it hits the ground
Ill cover you with a blanket for when you start to shiver
We’ll wish on the shooting stars

The world will just fade away into a distant haze
A pulsating bubble, hiding us away
Time will slow, and bliss will fill our days
We’ll feel young again, happy and gay
I love you my angel

Ill hide away your scars from the world
The cracks and scars that make you so beautiful and real
Keep your passions spread and unfurled
You’ll be with me as long as I can feel
I promise, it’ll be you and me together, forever...